About Trust In Relationships

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

For me, the greatest value in a relationship is trust. Remember, once at the dawn of all training, an exercise was popular: one partner falls backward, and the second must pick him up. Here on all my husbands, I could fall with peace of mind.

Few people think about the components of trust, everything is painfully individual. However, there are some basic options.

1. Facts. The more we as a couple know about each other, the easier it is for us to predict the reaction. Therefore, if you have a rough idea of what to expect, the level of anxiety is lower. It is from the predictability of a partner's behavior that trust is born. The breed of the first dog, the name of school love and the main childhood dream are no less important than the personal data, the size of the underwear and the password from the WiFi.

2. General experience. Events shared together bring people together. And sometimes the experienced difficulties unite the couple more than the common joys. Someone is being tested for the strength of a major overhaul, and someone can hardly survive the request to take out the trash. The more time a couple spends together, the easier it is to understand whether this person is worthy of your unconditional trust.

3. Values. It is difficult to build trust in a couple, where one is waiting for marital fidelity and homemade borscht, while the other is used to free relationships and sushi delivery. Much depends on the social circle, education and community of interests, but nothing destroys relationships like the lack of coincidences at the level of basic values. Is it good or bad to lie for profit? Skip the line - embarrassing or aerobatics? Money - together or apart? You can add religion, political affiliations, relationships with parents, and anything else that “goes without saying” to you and is not a subject of bargaining.

4. Joint future. If people share each other's values and vision, that is a good sign. If at the same time they also make joint plans for the future, this will significantly strengthen trust in each other. Shared purchases and joint mortgages, of course, are not always a guarantee of a happy life, but they bring some orderliness and stability into the relationship. But common dreams are truly priceless. It is a pity that we rarely have enough time for them.

5. Compromise. The ability to negotiate in a relationship is valued above all else. Most marriages are preserved through wisdom, not principle. "Do you want to be happy or right?" - my grandfather asked me. The ability to hear another, to speak without offending, and to convey one's thought in its original form is a great art. It's a pity that learning from your mistakes is expensive.

6. Support. Happy are those couples where there is great emotional involvement in the partner's experiences and practice the ability to shut up in time instead of stabbing with the inappropriate "I told you so." Empathy, emotional intelligence - all this is essentially the ability to tune in to the emotions of another and give him the opportunity at a difficult moment to "fall" on you without fear of being rejected.

7. Acceptance. "Happiness is when you are understood" (c) And trust is when you are accepted. When you don't have to constantly wear a mask and hide behind a flawless facade. When you know that you are loved not for what you can give, but for what you are inside.

8. Sex. A process that brings together all of the items listed here. An invaluable full level of trust, when you can be naked not only on the outside, but also on the inside.

9. Involvement. Confidence that your partner cares about you. That your problems will not be dismissed as insignificant, and that your successes will cause sincere joy. When he knows where your desk is in the office, and you know where he parks the car. When you are interested in hearing about his affairs, and it is important for him how your day went. Trust is the ability to share a partner's life and interests.

10. Confidence. The fact that they love you, that you are needed, that it is sad without you, and with you it is calm. The belief that you can make mistakes, do bad deeds, look stupid and ridiculous, but this will not affect his (her) attitude towards you in any way.

- Promise that you will call me at night if you cannot sleep, - asked the future husband yesterday.

- Why am I going to wake you up? - I was surprised.

- Because otherwise I will sleep badly too, worrying about you. Promise that if you need me, you will not hesitate to wake me up.

And I realized that I could calmly turn my back on this person and fall, not doubting that they would pick me up.