Workshop On Finding Desired Relationships. Third Conversation. "Trust And Openness"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Hello dear readers! With this publication, I continue the presentation of my proposed workshop to find happy relationships with men.

Today's conversation is devoted to the defining property of this topic - basic trust in relationships with the opposite sex.

For clarity, let's turn to a visual metaphor. I propose to present the following picture: if field between two objects free and open, means nothing prevents their interaction and if it is field and has essential barriers This interaction is undergoing great difficulties or becomes impossible … Exactly the same happens in the mental field of interaction specific men and women … When in the unconscious of a woman there is no fear of the opposite sex, when her soul is open to communication, potential partnerships and further emotional closeness are formed harmoniously. If this trust is not there, a “fortress wall” arises between a man and a woman, which is difficult to overcome.

Let's think: who or what is putting this basic trust in us? The answer on the surface is parents and first of all - parent of the opposite sex … Accordingly, if a girl has a loving, accepting dad, then a fundamental (basic) trust in the opposite sex is formed and the zone of future relationships is blessed and open; if the child's connection with the father is interrupted (say, due to a parental break) or this interaction had great difficulties - “barrier reefs” are laid in the field of future female-male happiness. This decisive, important fact in the context of the issue under discussion should at least be put on reflection and, as a maximum, adjusted.

Such work requires special, sufficient study, as well as time and effort, and involves the participation of a specialist psychologist. Nevertheless, already in this conversation, I will provide you with an effective, decisive methodology for serious preliminary reflections.

"Therapeutic Conversation with the Parent" or "Conversations with the Father"

The technique is performed with the participation of the therapist during one (long) or several (extended in time) sessions. In my practice, "Dialogues" are performed according to the implementation of the depth-analytical methodology "Father's Way".

Organizationally, "Dialogues" look like this: a chair is placed opposite the client, which is occupied by a therapist who personifies the role of a parent. The client and the therapist perform a psychological and correctional conversation according to the following scheme.

1. Replaying accumulated feelings. At this stage, it is important to remember, throw out and place in the field of therapeutic conversation all unspoken grievances towards the parent, freeing yourself from a difficult and unnecessary burden. The therapist from the role of the father listens carefully to the client, gives the necessary explanations and accepts the expressed feelings - for further analysis and work.

2. Mutual forgiveness or removal of negative fixations. It is very important (even in the most difficult cases) to try to forgive each other. In this phase, I remind clients of the fact that we are from parents: we are created by our fathers, we are made of their material. It is clear that by hating and cursing our parents, we are, in fact, cursing ourselves. That is why it is important to find opportunities for mutual reconciliation (even if only virtual, within the framework of a special conversation). A skilled therapist will always find an opportunity to perform this phase with high quality and delicacy.

3. Mutual gratitude or blessing from the past. This phase involves the softening of the general stored experience with useful positive fixations. Communication with a parent, like any significant experience for us, consists of good and difficult. Nevertheless, it is the “bad side of childhood” that often “gets stuck, and then expands” in memory, while the “good” side is taken for granted, devalued, leveling the well-deserved, mutual contributions. This phase of the technique is designed to restore the good potential of relationships with parents, smoothing out the general interactions of childhood.

4. Role blessing. At this stage of the technique, the parent (in our case, the therapist) blesses the daughter (client) for further happy realizations and desired gains of the future. This is often a very inspirational and extremely resourceful work piece. A person, receiving good promises for the future, leaves technology elated.

5. Virtual separation. At the last stage of the technique, the client (adult daughter) and her virtual parent must separate their paths of life, taking each other out of the field of potential influence-link, into the zone of new, desirable relationships.

So, gradually, step by step, we, dear readers, disassemble the workshop I present in order to analyze (and then heal) all possible algorithms of the request for gaining love happiness established in the topic.

That is where I conclude my article today and wish my subscribers the kindest and most harmonious relationships with men!

A psychologist, Alena Viktorovna Blishchenko, was with you. Until next time!