Porn Or Relationships? Why Do People Deprive Themselves Of The Pleasure Of Relationships? Relationship Problems

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

“Of course, porn! Porn is problem-free and readily available,”you say.

But do you know what exactly your psyche wants? If your soul is not broken by the deepest trauma of attachment, it wants love, deep emotional understanding, romance and deep energy exchange, including sexual contact

Why don't you feel good if you only have porn and no relationships in your life?

Some men admit that after masturbation they feel weakness and a decrease in energy tone. Others say that it is difficult for them to set goals, there are consequences of such quick self-satisfaction, although at the same time there is everything in life to realize their dreams. However, in their opinion, they need a girl, then they can be realized. But the girl is gone because of the porn.

Some men have inferiority complexes, especially because of the penis (in porn, we see large sizes). Some even acquire a perverse idea of sexual intercourse (for example, a girl must scream quite loudly all the time, in reality everything turns out differently, and the man is disappointed, thinking that something is wrong with him or relieves stress on his partner). There are also men who consider adult videos to be evil and feel guilty after watching the video. However, the very fact of watching porn here is not evil, you are influenced by the content and the amount of time spent in the company of a computer or phone. If you watch pornographic videos too often, the psyche gets used to so relax, and this also affects erection and ejaculation.

Who watches porn?

1. Teenagers, relatively speaking, grew up on porn. They have very high expectations from intercourse. In the filmed 15-minute video, all awkward, drawn-out moments are cut out, and in fact, the video can be filmed for 8 hours. Particularly because of this, porn actors do not use contraceptives. Teenagers, seeing all this, embody in their lives, not thinking that the actors are being tested for diseases.

2. Partners in a relationship. There is a difference here. After watching porn, men are often not inclined to engage in real sexual relations with a partner; in women, the opposite is often the case (with a high probability, women who have watched porn today will resort to real sexual intercourse). Why is this happening? The first is that women mostly watch porn with their partners, the second is the content they pay attention to. Women are looking for moments of relationships in porn - foreplay, affection, and men pay attention to "mechanical" moments (such "mechanical" viewing of porn forms an addiction that is no different from physical).
3. Those who are not in a relationship. Viewing pornography evokes many feelings, an explosion of emotions, reinforced by the hormones serotonin and dopamine. Addiction suggests that you are used to relieving stress in a certain way that suits you - this is a quick release of stress. The brain of people who are addicted to porn is less active, and this is due to the fact that certain neural connections are formed, and they no longer train the brain. You are accustomed to the fact that when a need arises, you just need to open the desired site, watch a video, get satisfaction - and that's it, nothing else is needed. All these stages do not require a lot of mental stress, everything is done automatically, you do not need to turn on the imagination (when more neural connections are involved), look for a real partner, flirt, trying to include a partner in a relationship, look after, call up, spend energy.

Accordingly, it is quite difficult to cope with such dependence on your own. Moreover, neural connections are formed not only in relation to the way of satisfaction as such, but also in relation to how you do it. If a person is accustomed to self-satisfaction, then he does it in a certain way, and no one else can do the same. Conclusion: you will get less pleasure from real intimacy with your partner, because your brain has already “written down” - the pleasure will be in that order (found - looked - stimulated with your hand - and got an orgasm). With a partner it will be different. Perhaps, sooner or later, you can get what you want, but you need to work hard and there must be a great desire. As long as you live on the habits of neural connections formed over the years, the problem of unfulfillment and dissatisfaction due to the lack of relationships remains open, and you are somehow hurt because of this.

What is the main problem here? Before satisfying your sexual need, you understand (or even think) that a relationship with a girl is passion, affection, hugs, mutual satisfaction and great pleasure, and with each intimacy you become closer to your partner. But … it is difficult to do some actions, you postpone everything ("I don't really know how to flirt, search, talk …"). Moreover, often behind this all lie the trauma of attachment, established beliefs (“Real relationships will not work out anyway, they will be difficult and unpleasant, I will become addicted! will be good!"). Indeed, after 5-10 minutes you feel good, and you no longer think about satisfying a need with a real person, these thoughts and feelings are irrelevant for a while. And so all your energy is spent on finding the relationship of your dreams, and the need again remains unsatisfied.

What to do? You have noticed and realized your problem - and this can already significantly propel you towards a real need. Some people manage to break the cycle on their own by prioritizing the value of relationships. But in any case, it is difficult! In addition to psychotherapy, physical activity can help - sports, walks, meditation, communication with real people. If you try to figure it out dozens of times, but after a while everything returns to its place, be sure to turn to psychotherapy, and you will find the warmest, most sincere and close relationship of your dreams.