Relationships As A "battle Of Psychics"? How To Create Long-term Relationships If You Never Worked

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Relationships as a "battle of psychics"?

How to create long-term relationships if you never worked

Everyone in life has someone who will never let you go, and someone who you will never let go.

Chuck Pallanick. "Lullaby"

Some interesting things about why we have an escape on the "rake" in a relationship. It seems like the beginning is different, but you don't need to be a psychic to guess what will end. Consider the reasons for these effects and what to do about it if you are not a masochist. The bad news is that most people are masochistic and comfortable being victims. It's more convenient if someone else is always to blame.

How it all begins. Two meet: a candy-flower period, loving eyes opposite, marmalade in calls and in correspondence, fantasies about a wedding, kids who went to school and even went to college. And they died in one day. Romance wrapped in a pink veil of illusory reality.

And then the vanilla veil falls as if badly attached blinds have collapsed, bright colors fade, and here again recurring events or "rakes": jealousy for a look in the wrong direction or a smile at a passer-by, disputes over trifles that develop into fights without rules. And again the gap and apathy, depression. Loneliness, disappointment, resentment, emptiness inside, which you want to fill with yummy food or a glass of wine - for a start in the evenings, and then how it goes. And okay, if there was only one, well, let it be a couple of times, but every 2 or 3 years the same thing. Someone has a period longer or less.

Here, it seems, finally, I met “the one”, not the same as the former. Although outwardly they can be quite similar: hair color, eyes, height, physique. Do you remember? But it takes some time and again as they agreed - again a new "goat" is ready: he does not understand, scandal, jealous, sometimes "can raise his hand." Why? What is it to me? I'm so cool, beautiful, smart, but there is no happiness.

This is a very generalized story, but believe me, even many individual stories can be nested for several reasons. Sources typically during childhood and adolescence:

1. We look at the relationship of the girl with her dad.
2. We look at the girl's relationship with her mother.
3. We look at the relationship between mom and dad.

Why is everyone returning to childhood and to their parents again?It's simple - in childhood we are just forming, we live with our parents (if we are lucky) or without them (or without a father, for example) and read their behavior with each other and with us - children. Even food addictions also come from childhood. Have you heard about the "taste of childhood" - it can be a harmful sandwich with "Doktorskaya", and a waffle cake with condensed milk, and healthy lifestyle meals. And we love our parents unconditionally and, accordingly, believe completely and completely - they are gods for us in fact. Mom is always mom. Dad is dad. There are birth moments, but in any case they also pass through the parents.

So, we copied, created a model for ourselves through beliefs and wrote them deeply into the unconscious. From there they "rule" us, launching certain models into our lives. Often, we are not even able to track down those triggers - "triggers" that include "mom" or "dad" in us. It is visible only from the side. Therefore, our outer world is a mirror of the inner. You've heard for sure. Did you recognize yourself?

What to do?Good question. The answer is awareness. But to develop it is a matter of a long time. You've probably already read and listened to the stories of various gurus or acquaintances. But there is a shorter way. In this case, you need someone who knows how to see your "rake" (psychologists call them "patterns"), show them to you so that you become aware of them and decide what you want to do with these model-beliefs. Sometimes the very awareness of their behavior already changes them, and sometimes this is only the beginning of the path - they have found a refuge very deeply in your psyche. Need work. The work is deep and requires discipline, perseverance and time.

Are you ready?Often not. Everyone is ready to change the world, but only a few are ready to change their “dear” beliefs. This is bad news. Even worse, some beliefs and trauma can lead to psychosomatic illnesses and even cancer. Time is our most precious resource. The good news is, if you are alive, it can be changed. Enough 10% readiness.

Ok, ready. Where to begin? As a psychotherapist and a guide of the Radical Forgiveness method, I start working with a person with a diagnosis. And, of course, the life line. I described in detail how to do it earlier in the article about self-esteem, but I will repeat it briefly here: draw a vertical line on the entire sheet on a large piece of paper. At the upper end of the line, mark the point of your birth, at the lower end there will be a moment now in your life. Further, starting from today, from the bottom up, mark important events in your life and mark them with a dash and an inscription how old you are. Describe what happened: on the left - what is good, on the right - bad. Everything needs to be done with high quality - this is the key to further success. In most cases, you will see that the "rake" began in childhood and is related to the parents.

Then I use the program "21 days of Forgiveness of Parents", with the help of which we systematically go through (4 consultations on certain days of the program) stages of acceptance and forgiveness of each parent separately. And it doesn't matter whether they are alive or not. I recommend that you do it with an experienced specialist so that you do not "linger" or "merge". Remember that the majority do not reach the finish line precisely because of the lack of proper support and environment. And motivation.

We work with your pain, even unconscious, unlived emotions that “spoil” and destroy your life from the depths of consciousness. I consider this program the most effective not only in Radical Forgiveness, but in principle in therapy, based on my many years of practice. Three 7-day cycles allow you to make and fix the necessary changes at the cellular level. And the results are truly stunning and encouraging to keep helping people. After 3 weeks of work - and this is also the implementation of practices and necessarily homework, there is a deep change from negative beliefs to positive ones and the release of a huge mass of energy that previously nourished your resentments, fears, shame and guilt. And this energy renews your real life, making room for a miracle.

Forgiving is not easy, especially yourself, but a necessary path for your personal happiness. I myself went this way and now I have a happy family in abundance, three wonderful children and I am doing what I love - helping people. Goodbye to Grow!