2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Resentment is a feeling rooted in early childhood. If we look at the developmental situation of a young child carefully enough, we can see that the child is heavily dependent on his parents. He cannot independently make decisions and satisfy his needs
In a situation of frustration, when the interests and desires of the parents and the child diverge, the child finds himself in a dependent situation where he is forced to obey and at the same time feels his helplessness and resentment. Frustrations are extremely necessary, they serve the development of the child, but it is very important that the parents help the child overcome them, explain to him why they deny him something, accept his feelings of anger, discontent and talk them over with him. If the frustrations are overly harsh and the parents forbid the child to express their feelings, to show aggression, then the child develops such a character trait as resentment.
Unable to express his aggression and discontent with his parents, on whom he depends and whom he may be afraid of, the child begins to feel helplessness, despair and is forced to deploy aggression directed against the situation on himself, turning it into an offense. In the absence of support and empathy, a component of self-pity is added.
Is resentment related to injustice?
Fairness and injustice are evaluative moral categories. Scientifically speaking, resentment is a form of reaction to frustration. By and large, any frustration (violation of plans, destruction of expectations or illusions, the inability to get what you want - what a person expects) from his point of view is injustice. Often, a feeling of resentment arises even in situations where a person consciously realizes that he is wrong, but to react to the situation in a different, more constructive way, he does not have enough internal resources.
Why is insult dangerous?
As we said above, behind the resentment is suppressed aggression, which is directed at oneself. Any suppressed emotions have a destructive effect on our body, leading to certain somatic disorders. So, in modern research, we can see that resentful children who were not allowed to openly show aggression in the family are much more likely to get colds. In adulthood, repressed aggression, pride (a defense mechanism in the form of narcissistic superiority that helps to avoid feelings of helplessness and despair) and deficiency (lack of a good protective maternal object in the head) lead to cancer.
How does resentment affect our lives?
As a rule, the negative consequences of resentment in a relationship are not long in coming. In fact, resentment is a withdrawal from relationships inside oneself and communication with one's inner objects from childhood. The inability to show aggression, protect oneself, constructively resolve conflict situations lead to difficulties in relationships, constant experiences and their somatization.
Psychologist's help with touchiness:
Many clients ask the question: how to deal with resentment?
To this I always answer with a question: what do you mean by the word “cope”?
Clients often want to suppress resentment or just not feel it. But the problem is that a living person cannot help but feel. If we do not feel our feelings, then they turn either into actions (leave, stop communicating, do not pick up the phone), or into somatic diseases, then our body begins to feel and speak for us.
On the Internet, you can often find advice from psychologists in response to the question: "How to cope with resentment?" - you need to accept the offense, acknowledge its existence and speak this feeling with the one to whom it is addressed. This is all, of course, curious, but to what extent is it realizable and what effect will it have?
It would be more correct to assume that resentment is our internal way of reacting to circumstances. The amount of resentment, anger or other emotions that require splashing or suppression depends on the volume of our inner container, on what situation we are able to digest and process inside ourselves, and not react outside, blaming others or getting sick.
Individual psychoanalytic psychotherapy, like group psychoanalytic psychotherapy, precisely creates such a space in which the client can get to know his feelings and learn to interact with his real emotions.
The goal of psychoanalytic therapy is to recreate the childhood situation and support the client so that he can cope and experience what was impossible in his developmental situation.
Recommended:
About Resentment And Forgiveness. Flies From Cutlets
The mouthpiece of the Universal Reason - the Internet buzzed all our ears that it is not good to hold an offense, and we should forgive. I largely agree that it is a useful thing, offended and hidden avengers are not the most pleasant people, both for themselves and for others.
How To Suppress Resentment In Yourself
I will be offended at all. I'm leaving for Africa. My wooden horse Will take me. There will be oranges in Africa for dinner. I won't miss anyone at all. (Vitezslav Nezval, translated by Irina Tokmakova) A red-haired girl Tanya entered the psychologist's office, and timidly sat down on the edge of a chair, looking around the room.
Resentment. What It Is? Why Is Resentment And How To Deal With It?
Feeling and emotion are often used synonymously and are characterized as a psychological process that reflects a subjective evaluative attitude towards existing or possible situations. However, emotions are a direct reaction to something based on an intuitive level, and feelings are a product of thinking, experiencing accumulated experience, permissible norms, rules, culture … Many researchers divide emotions into negative, positive, and neutral.
Guilt And Resentment. Resentment And Guilt. Two Sides Of The Same Coin
Why did I suddenly combine such different, polar feelings into one topic? That is why - they live in a bundle - where there is guilt, there is also resentment. And vice versa. But one of them, as a rule, we do not notice in ourselves. If we are offended, then we do not talk about our guilt, we "
Who's Guilty? How To Deal With Resentment?
One way or another, the feeling of resentment is familiar to all of us - in this life we all took offense and offended someone. But how can you deal with this simple emotion in practice? A practical situation from the life of one of the clients (I quote as agreed with her, replacing some details).
