2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When working with a psychoanalyst, psychologist or psychotherapist, each client has a quite natural question, "Have I delayed the therapy?", "Maybe that's enough?"
Sometimes this question arises when, in the course of therapy, we work through some painful moments of the past. Or vice versa, during periods of relief, resolution of some kind of conflict and immersion in euphoria.
- Does the psychoanalyst influence my decisions?
- Is it addictive?
- Will I be able to cope myself without my psychoanalyst?
- Isn't it time to complete the analysis?
These and many other similar questions disturb clients at the initial stage of communication with a psi specialist.
Many go to a psychologist expecting to receive advice on how to change their behavior, life and even other people. Hence, fears may arise that talking with a psychologist means following his instructions, living in someone else's mind. And even depend on him. ⠀
I answer:
- The task of psychotherapy, first of all, is to help the client find support in himself and teach him to make choices and make decisions on his own. Without the help of a specialist.
Of course, everything is individual. Everyone decides for himself what place he gives to psychotherapy in his life.
As a rule, a client comes with one request. For example: "Divorce from my husband."
Some time after we started working with this request, there was a need to understand relationships with men: the ability to trust and relax in their presence, the issue of female sexuality, to work through the fear of being abandoned.
Next is the question of self-esteem, self-confidence and career development.
Everything in our life is interconnected. If at the beginning of therapy the focus of attention was focused on experiencing the grief of loss, working on mistakes in previous relationships, then later it shifted from the field of the problem to the field of self-development.
A lively interest in myself and in my inner world, in the study of my dreams, motives of actions, desires and vice versa, what I do not like and what I want to refuse, has awakened. Learning to say no without guilt. And talk out loud about your desires. The client wanted to get to know herself deeper, to be aware of and distinguish her feelings, to look for cause-and-effect relationships between past and present events in order not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.
The psychoanalyst does not dictate the conditions for how many sessions are needed in order to work through this or that issue. Although it warns of the possible emergence of unconscious resistance to the psychotherapeutic process, which manifests itself in lateness, unwillingness to go to the session, looking for reasons to cancel the meeting, unwillingness to talk on a certain topic, postpone or stop the process of psychotherapy. Resistance can arise when one comes too close to a very disturbing repressed memory. Accordingly, the client's psychic defenses are mobilized in order to keep this material in the unconscious and prevent it from penetrating into consciousness. If you discuss your resistance with a psychoanalyst in time, you can discover the cause of the anxiety, and this material can become a breakthrough point in the course of the therapeutic process.
The client made the decision on her own - to complete the therapy process or to continue to explore herself and change her life. She stayed in therapy because she wanted to grow. This is not about dependence on a therapist, but about a conscious choice.
When the client announced her desire to take a break and try to overcome difficulties on her own, we held several sessions to summarize. The final session, one or more, is necessary in order to identify what is behind the desire to stop the psychotherapeutic process and check whether it was a work of resistance, as well as to take stock of the work done.
With the client, we conducted another control session a month later. Of course, she faced some life situations for the first time during this period and continues to face it for the first time, looking for answers and support, but so far she has not had the need to turn to a specialist every time.
Someone needed 3 consultations to look at their problem from different angles and start looking for solutions on their own or make decisions to work out their problem in therapy. Someone short-term consulting - 15 sessions. Someone needs 6 months with the frequency of meetings 1-2 times a week. Someone is 1 year old. Someone continues to meet once a week for 2 years and does not feel the need to stop the process. Some clients return - either to resolve a specific issue, or in order to find the resource and the necessary support for the development of their personality or the passage of an important stage in life.
After all, talking to a psychoanalyst takes 50 minutes a week. And between these meetings, the client independently copes with his feelings, emotions, life problems - he uses the skills that he developed during therapy, and relies only on himself.
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