2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Friends are, first of all, a disclaimer.
If the relationship has reached the point of physical abuse, yes, they need to end, and immediately.
Below I will write my opinion about those where it is difficult, difficult, but there is no assault.
In the parapsychological environment, I often come across opinions: "If you don't like a relationship, run away from it." "He / she envies you, so end the relationship", "That's it, love is gone, look for a new relationship."
In some cases, it might really be worth ending the relationship.
The irony is that these uncomfortable relationships are often scripted. That is, starting a new relationship, it is very likely to get into such. Not right away, but get hit again. And after a while it turns out that it seems that relationships are not needed, it is better to do it yourself.
At the same time, faith in oneself, in others, time and peace of mind is lost.
How can you avoid this?
My opinion is that since the relationship is still crumbling or uncomfortable, then you need to start experimenting.
Look for literature on communications. Of those available in every sense - "Psychological Aikido" by M. Litvak and "Five languages of love" by Gehry Chapman.
In "Psychological Aikido" there are quite effective ways to extinguish aggression and restore boundaries.
In "Five Love Languages" attention is transferred from behavior to values that try to be realized through it, and gives the keys to identifying values and their satisfaction.
But there is a relationship where there is not enough knowledge and skills given in the books mentioned.
And then it would be good to do this direction for real.
Start with structure (calibrate, tune, rapport, lead) and master them as a skill. This can be done in individual consultations, or in trainings. For example, NLP is a practitioner.
Then - language strategies (language tricks). This can also be mastered in individual consultations, or in specialized trainings.
Plus values and ways to implement them. Also individually or at trainings (NLP master).
Plus, it is also very important to learn how to work with the image of oneself and the Other in communications. This is more likely to my personal developments, although they are based on the works of Lucas Derks, Richard Bandler and others.
Having learned at least a little of the above tools and using them, you can greatly improve communication with close and important people, reduce anxiety, stop feeling like a victim in it, reach the possibility of realizing not only others' desires, but also your own desires.
Well, stop running from one relationship to another, and instead learn to be aware and act effectively where everything was vague, unclear, and even somehow frightening before.
I invite you to an interesting and exciting work with yourself and others. After all, the quality of relationships is also the quality of life.
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