2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"Mom, where is my fifth breast size?" (c) Words from the song.
On the psychological reasons for "small breasts".
“Girl, we don't have bras this small! No, no, and never will! We have a normal size shop! " - proudly told me in the only "decent" lingerie store in the city, when I was 20 and I asked about "zero". I felt overwhelmed by these words. I will not describe the experiences - they are already familiar to many women.
Much has changed since then. For 5 years of therapy, two processes have combined. First, it came to accept your body, your appearance "as it is." Secondly, the size of the cups changed from zero to second.
Why doesn't the breast "grow"? You can read about physiological reasons on the corresponding medical portals. And I will share information about some of the reasons for a psychological nature.
The development of the mammary glands occurs during puberty. The mammary glands that formed speak, firstly, of belonging to the female sex, and secondly, of sexual maturity - the readiness to have sexual intercourse and continue the childbirth.
Then the "refusal" of the breast to grow can be interpreted as:
1. I am not female.
2. I have not yet reached maturity, I am still small.
3. I am not ready to have sex.
4. I am not ready to continue the race, to become a mother.
"I am not female." Some reasons:
1. Waiting for a boy. Gender error. Or one or both parents (perhaps even grandparents, if they had a strong emotional influence on the parent) wanted a son. Then they could bring up as a son.
2. The belief that female sex is bad or dangerous. This can be experienced sexual abuse or humiliation, negative attitude towards the female sex of the father, rejection of the mother's gender.
3. Very difficult / toxic relationship with the mother and as a result - rejection of the mother, female sex and maternal functions.
I have not yet reached maturity, I am still small
1. There was an acute deficit at some stage of development and the child was "stuck" at that age. It is very possible that Mom was missing. And they didn’t “feed” them both in the literal sense (premature end of breastfeeding) and in the emotional sense - they disliked.
2. Parental message "don't grow, stay small."
I'm not ready to have sex
1. "I'm still little."
2. "Sexual contact is dangerous." Experienced violence. Persuasion from parents.
3. "Sexual intercourse is bad, embarrassing, dirty." Persuasion from parents.
4. “You can get pregnant from sexual intercourse. I am not ready to continue the race, to become a mother."
I am not ready to continue the race, to become a mother
1. "I'm still little."
2. Prohibition / persuasion from parents. For example, "don't bring it in the hem."
3. Own decisions and beliefs. For example, “I will not be like a mother,” “Mom will not wait for my grandchildren,” etc.
In addition, the slowdown in the growth of the mammary glands may be associated with blockage of the chest region due to:
1. Prohibition of love, aggression, feelings in general, contact with people and the world.
2. "Wounded heart". Experienced betrayal, rejection.
3. The prohibition of "breathing deeply" and "living life to the fullest."
4. The prohibition to take from life and give into the world, a violation in the "take-give" sphere.
5. The prohibition on "being full and fertile."
Acceptance of the "size" as it is can be achieved in therapeutic work. This may require work about the relationship with the mother and the relationship with the mother. If the body is ready to respond to changes in the psyche, then some change in "size" is not excluded.
The image is the work of the artist Sergei Marshennikov.
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