Choose Carefully

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I want to talk to you about security. About your safety.

I am extremely frank on social media. If you want, this is my specialty, my personal brand - call it what you like. I am a “living” psychologist who can be “touched” - a person who calls things by their proper names, has a clear position on many issues and does not hesitate to defend it rather harshly. I share my personal experience (far from always positive), do not fence myself off from readers by professional obligations (in some approaches, the psychologist should remain a mystery to the client) and always answer all your requests.

I write advocacy articles on relationship psychology to help a wide range of people understand what is happening to them. I introduce readers to basic terms and concepts, answer common questions, try to give seekers a direction for possible solutions to problems.

Of course, a huge number of people write to me in PM - with intimate details, personal stories, often turning inside out. Well, ok, I'm a psychologist - all my profiles are at a glance, my education is checked and confirmed by well-known professional sites and communities, I have real friends and many long-time subscribers in my feed. And yet.

When you bring your highly personal story to a stranger, please be careful. If you are desperate, you are especially vulnerable. Don't trust everything that's written. Many people think that by not naming names in conversation or by misrepresenting some basic data, they are safe. This is wrong. It will not be difficult for a person with a psychological education to "read" your profile by the manner of conversation, the peculiarities of presenting information, emotions, requests and reactions. The same applies to scammers. In any case, you are vulnerable.

Check the education, reviews, content and personal values of the one to whom you open your soul. Members of the LGBT community are especially aware of the consequences of rash actions. Even if you have nothing to hide, and you are the most, that neither is, an “ordinary person”, think carefully before opening yourself in front of a beautiful picture on social networks. All that glitters is not gold. Not everyone who claims to be an expert is. Psychologists (like specialists in other fields) are also people - with their own cockroaches, characteristics, human qualities, preferences and beliefs.

Yes, in theory there is a certain “academic standard of the profession”, when the psychologist is sufficiently developed not to transfer his own projections to the client and to react as neutrally as possible to obvious triggers. In practice, however, you shouldn't go to a psychologist with a “yammer” attitude if you want to discuss your child-free status. Not all "Orthodox" psychologists are LGBT-friendly. Not all truth-tellers can work with clients who have experienced violence. Each has a preferred specialization - the area where the psychologist is as comfortable as possible and where, as a result, he is most effective for the client. Psychologists do not prescribe medications and do not make diagnoses from photos. This is done by psychiatrists and psychotherapists and only in person. The list goes on.

Over the past week, I have 3 clients with the consequences of "miracle therapy" from unknown gurus on the Internet. History - bullying, trolling, stalking and other exotic "animals". Bonuses, wounded pride and twisted consciousness, not to mention wasted money and time.

You can fully open up in front of your interlocutor only at an official session, when you are confident in the quality of the service offered to you. Even if you communicate via messenger or Skype, you must understand who you are dealing with. Study the profile of a specialist, read posts and articles in professional groups, pay attention to the quality of comments and the manner of communication. Choose those whose attitude to life is closer to you. Explore pre-existing approaches and, for heaven's sake, ask questions! You carefully choose a doctor before bringing your physiological problems to him. So why are you so light on your mental health?