2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Demanding on oneself and others is a clear idea of who should do what and how.
Demanding individuals are, first of all, very strict with themselves. They know exactly how they should look, behave and how to interact with other people in certain situations. They have a very clear image in their minds to which they need to strive and correspond.
Many books on self-improvement talk about being exacting about yourself and about a certain "ideal" to strive for. "Put on the suit of success when you go out into society" (ie behave in a certain way) and happiness awaits you.
Of course, it's great when a person has a clear idea of what he wants from himself and the world.
The flip side of being exacting is controlling yourself and others. Where there is control, there is always tension. Where there is control there is hidden anxiety "what if something goes wrong, what if I cannot meet my own requirements and ideas."
The flip side of exactingness is dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction with oneself and others.
Demandingness is a certain framework of ideas about oneself and about life. The requirements always include "I must", "he must". And a person begins to live in a certain pattern, completely oblivious to his actual needs and feelings.
Within this framework, there is an imaginary security, because it seems that I am in control of life and declare myself. But … Life is not a template of safe moves and clear ideas. Personality is not a set of clear characteristics. We are not robots to be the same with everyone in different periods of life.
Therefore, the stricter the requirements, the less feeling of oneself, of one's needs.
Making clear demands deprives you of your freedom of expression. I believe that each of us knows himself throughout his life.
Try to track your internal requirements for yourself. Write them down (I have to …). Ask yourself, "Do I want this now."
Maybe it's time to soften yourself up. Begin to take good care of yourself.
As you feel better about yourself, it will become easier for you to communicate with others.
Check it out!
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