Give Yourself Love

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Every time anxiety, fear, worry comes to your throat, stop and give yourself love.

We tend to look for love through intermediaries: men and women with whom we communicate, positive events, money. But what if I told you that all these “intermediaries” are minor characters in the plot of your game?

We turn to intermediaries only and exclusively in those cases when we do not feel that there is enough love resource inside. Instead of generating a resource of love directly, we turn to them: we expect that they will show interest in us, that we will be promoted, thanked and praised. In this way, receiving a manifestation of love from another person, we feel for a fraction of a moment that we are worthy of love. The need for love is a basic human need.

To get love, we often make concessions. Love is the most valuable resource, so we try to “earn” it in every possible way. We say things we don’t want to say, and we behave in ways we don’t really want to. We do not express our inner truth in order to adapt to the tastes and desires of another person, and he, in turn, may choose to give us love.

Lack of love and its constant filling is a vicious circle for most people. We literally live “from stroking to stroking”, in the hope that one day the deficiency will be completely filled. We need to realize that until we learn to give ourselves love on our own, we will always be addicted to uncontrollable events. To turn the stars to face us, we will resort to manipulation, on which we will spend our precious life resource.

Negative emotions are beacons that, when they light up, tell us that we are waiting for the replenishment of our resource of love from another person or an uncontrollable event. As soon as the negative emotion has registered in the body, stop and ask yourself: "From whom / from what am I now expecting love?" For example, Annie worries for days waiting for a response from Russell. As soon as a text message from Russell "falls" on Annie's phone, the anxiety recedes, and for a while Annie feels loved. Time passes, and Russell does not write again. Since Annie's feelings of love are fully invested in her relationship with Russell, Annie feels overwhelmed. If she realized what was really happening, she might be able to regain her strength, finding that the source of love is in herself, and that she herself decides whether to transfer it to another person.

There are many ways to give yourself love. For example, you can turn to your center, located in the lower abdomen, and visualize how soft and light energy spreads from the center throughout the body. Then you need to relax your shoulders, take a deep breath. It is important to focus on the gentle nature of this energy and allow it to penetrate all the cells of your body. The more you practice, the easier and more natural this technique will be.

The second easy way is to write a list: What outward manifestations of your world help you feel loved / loved? What songs, clothes, perfume, food, and activities help you feel on top of the world? I see that in the modern world, many people familiar with psychology and spiritual practices are overly identified with their non-earthly aspects. This leads to dissociation with your body and “mortal thoughts”, which are also a part of us. Harmonious existence presupposes harmonious interaction at all levels of being, including the highest meditation and grocery shopping.

Along with songs and clothes, it is important to highlight states of mind in which it is easy to feel love for yourself. For me, this is light and unobtrusive playfulness, spontaneous co-creation with the Universe and gratitude for all its manifestations. Ask yourself: How can I practically create such states of mind in my life? If it is difficult to find the answer on your own, you can turn to a loved one. From the side you know better!

You can dig deeper and discover a traumatic experience that leads you to believe that you are unworthy of love in your natural form. Almost every person living on our Earth today has a similar trauma. An incomparably small number of people were fortunate enough to experience the experience of unconditional love in early childhood. Most of us grew up in an environment where we concluded that we are loved not for what we are, but for what we do. This painful conclusion forces us to control our behavior to this day in an attempt to please another person and thus achieve love. When people come to me for a consultation with the intention of loving themselves or becoming more confident, we are just working with this trauma.