2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
How often do you scold yourself? The question is quite relevant for some people. Sometimes a person develops such a habit: to scold and punish himself. Moreover, often, strongly and for a long time.
This attitude towards oneself is more typical for people who have difficulties with self-confidence and with the adequacy of self-esteem. But, whatever it was, many consider themselves to be scolded as a fully justified and effective method of self-motivation.
However, as practice shows, in most cases this method does not work, and if it does, then with large errors.
Even as a child, we get the instruction that we should be good, because such children are more loved. For a child, the need for adult approval is always very important. And so we begin to absorb ourselves the following model: that if you are good, then everything is fine. But if you are bad, then you will be scolded so that you become good.
Moreover, this model does not work with everyone, even in childhood. Each of us, for sure, will find an example from school life, when a bully boy reacted poorly to the fact that he was being scolded. Moreover, he continued to repeat his "bad deeds."
In my opinion, there is no logic in the very basis of such a model. Judge for yourself, they do me badly so that I become better. If you get rude in a cafe, or "cut" on the road, will you become better in relation to this person? Hardly. Our brain perceives swearing at itself in the same way.
But, oddly enough, many believe that this is a completely effective method of influence. And quite often people try to replace the concept of self-discipline by swearing at themselves. But discipline in relation to itself has a completely different basis. This is a conscious choice that a person makes to achieve some results, plus willpower.
Until the seventh grade, I could not pull up on the bar, it took me all summer to train, so that in September, my teacher praised me when I pulled up seven times. If I just scolded myself, I would not have achieved this.
There is one more thing. It is in our nature that we need to meet certain requirements of society. In my opinion, this is quite reasonable. Only people try to do it badly. The person becomes afraid that others will consider him bad, and he begins to "get better", scolding himself. At the same time, he notices around him more negative than positive, and therefore begins to scold himself even more.
All this together leads to the fact that a person is constantly in a state of stress. And such conditions are extremely harmful to the body. Often this stress is the cause of many psychosomatic illnesses, which greatly complicate life.
Our brain, and accordingly the entire body, reacts much better to praise, since this releases hormones of joy, and the brain not only feeds on them, but also needs them very much. If, under certain conditions, you change the habit of scolding yourself, to the habit of praising yourself (this is not about selfishness), then the quality of your condition, and, accordingly, of life, changes for the better.
Live with joy! Anton Chernykh.
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