2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Petrozavodsk
I won't have a step-by-step recipe - alas. Because accepting a breakup is not one, two, or five steps. This is a road of many thousands of steps. With multiple returns to the starting point. With branches to the side and walking at a different pace. With stops to rest. With fits of despair, avalanches of anger, apathetic emptiness.
Sometimes you don't want to see this path: if only to take off - and immediately into a happy tomorrow! And then your eyes open - and you are again where your legs do not go - because it hurts. Hurt. It hurts all the time …
I can only assure that acceptance will come if you allow yourself to experience all the feelings that accompany grief (and the loss of a relationship is an event that is important to burn off): denial, bargaining, anger, apathy. These feelings can replace each other several times in a day - and drag on for several days. Morning can begin with calmness and determination to start a new calm life, then a glance falls on something reminiscent - and then again a fall into pain, melancholy, with glimpses of hope "what if", into denial "what if", into anger " it is he / she / I who is to blame for everything, "in depreciation" is not worth it, "in longing for the past - and again in grief, tears, emptiness. Having cried a lot, fall asleep broken, collapsed, empty. To wake up again with the determination to live without pain.
In these dark times, it is important to remember:
🌿 it won't last forever, 🌿 it will definitely get easier someday, 🌿 what happened is not the end of life - this is the end of the relationship, 🌿 life goes on (although there is a feeling that it has stopped), 🌿 while the soul is grieving, it needs strength - it is important to take care of your physical body, 🌿 grieving all the time is not necessary: rejoicing during grieving is possible and good - it gives strength, 🌿 you can't avoid grieving - it goes on, whether you like it or not, and the longer you pretend that everything is in order, the longer it lasts, 🌿 by allowing yourself to grieve in full force, you make room for other feelings that will surely come in return for grief, 🌿 It hurts to grieve, but it's the only way to be accepted.
Only after having burned out, having recovered, having experienced emptiness and loneliness, can you come to peace within yourself and rely on that person who is always with you - on yourself. Grieving gives an experience of support not only from the outside (thanks to loved ones, friends and the psychologist), but also from the inside. Left alone, returning to yourself step by step, you can build a new relationship with yourself - a relationship of self-support, self-acceptance and self-help. And standing firmly on two legs, looking back at the path traveled, it will someday be possible to say: "Thank you for the experience, there were many different things in it. Thanks to it, I became / a … [such / such as you see yourself] - and now I'm moving on."
This is ACCEPTANCE.
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