2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Family crisis due to the birth of a child
Having a baby is a difficult test for many couples. If you begin to notice that your partner has begun to move away from you, have ceased to understand and care about each other, and resentment and disappointment have already accumulated, do not rush to take extreme measures. Most likely, your family has a common crisis that almost all couples face. It lasts in different ways - from a couple of months to 12 months. This is how long it takes to establish a new order in the family.
A family crisis after the birth of a child is a serious test for a couple. During this period, the father may feel excluded from the family, experience a feeling of jealousy, since the mother directs all her attention to the child. While the wife is completely and completely occupied with taking care of the baby, the man has the feeling that he has been removed, isolated, and in response to this there is a need to seek closeness with other family members, outside the family, or to go into the sphere of professional achievements, moving further away from the family. However, a crisis is when something that is outdated must go away and something new appears. Not the crises themselves are dangerous for the couple's life, but the inability to meet with them, avoidance of them, silence, attempts to ignore.
At this time, anxiety rises, fears of loss intensify, since the new carries in itself a lot of unpredictability, and if there is not enough internal support, confidence and the ability to be in dialogue, to talk, then it is really difficult to experience a crisis.
In the postpartum period, a woman needs support and understanding, without receiving the expected help from her husband in caring for the baby, she may begin to experience resentment and disappointment towards her husband. The problem can also be aggravated by the lack of self-realization, especially if the woman was active before giving birth and enjoyed her professional career.
New roles and rules
The birth of a child, whether it is the firstborn or not, entails a revision of rules and habits. It is important to allow family members to adapt to new changes in regime, schedule and responsibilities, and not trying to make their life as before - this is impossible. Review responsibilities, sit down at the "negotiating table" and discuss new rules, so that it would be comfortable and feasible for all family members.
If this is a new experience for you, expectations of what kind of parent will be your partner can add fuel to the fire. This is also worth discussing openly, understanding your limitations and the weaknesses of the other, so that the interaction in the role of parents would be as harmonious as possible.
The main key to how to keep the family together is to try to maintain a balance between motherhood and marriage. It is important not to forget that despite the fact that you become parents, in addition to this, you remain husband and wife, interlocutors, lovers and friends.
Do not forget that the crisis is not forever, and it will definitely end. Try to remember pleasant moments in difficult moments and periods, make gifts to each other, take care and spend more time together.
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