Life Position And Life Scenario

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I'm ok - you're ok

I'm not ok - you're ok

I'm ok - you're not ok

I'm not ok - you're not ok

These four points of view are called life positions. Some authors call them foundational positions, existential positions, or simply positions. They reflect the fundamental attitudes of a person about the essential value that he sees in himself and other people. This is more than just an opinion about your own or someone else's behavior.

Having adopted one of these positions, the child, as a rule, begins to adjust his entire script to it. Berne wrote: "At the heart of every game, every scenario, and every human life is one of these four fundamental positions."

SCENARIO ORIGIN:

As we grow up, memories of early childhood are only revealed to us in dreams and fantasies. Without putting in sufficient effort to identify and analyze our scenario, we most likely will not learn about the decisions we made in early childhood - despite the fact that we may implement them in our behavior.

Why do we make such all-encompassing decisions in infancy about ourselves, other people, and the world at large? What do they serve? Are we aware of our script?

The answer lies in two key aspects of script formation.

• Scenario solutions represent the child's best survival strategy in a world that often seems hostile and even life-threatening to him.

• Scenario decisions are made on the basis of children's feelings and emotions, as well as children's testing for their correspondence to reality.

  

Often we have to interpret reality within the framework of our own perception of the world so that it justifies in our eyes the fidelity of the scenario decisions we have made. We do this because any threat to our scenario representation of the world can be perceived by us in the state of the Child as a threat to the satisfaction of our needs, and even as a threat to our existence.

The child who took the position " I'm OK, you're OK "is likely to build a winning scenario. He finds himself loved and welcomed to exist. He decides that his parents can be loved and trusted, and then extends that view to people in general." I'm OK, you're OK "- this is a healthy position. At the same time, I participate in life and solving life problems. A person acts with the aim of achieving the desired beneficial results for him. This is the only position based on objective reality.

If the child takes a position " I'm not OK, you're OK ", he will most likely write a banal or losing script. In accordance with this fundamental position, he will play up his role as a victim and his losses to other people in the script. If the person is in position." I'm not OK, you're OK ", then most likely he will play out his scenario mainly from a depressive position, feeling inferior to other people. Without realizing it, a person will choose unpleasant feelings and behavioral manifestations for himself," confirming "that he has defined his place in the world correctly If such a person has problems with mental health, they are most likely diagnosed as neurosis or depression If he wrote his life from the scenario position of the Victim, then this is a fatal scenario, its outcome is likely to be suicide.

Position " I'm OK, you're not-OK "can create the basis for a seemingly winning scenario. But such a child is convinced that he needs to be better than others, others should be in a humiliated position. For a while he can succeed, but only at the cost of continuous struggle. Over time, those around him people will get tired of their humiliated position and turn away from him. Then he will turn from a supposedly "winning" into the most that neither is the loser. I'm OK, you're not-OK "means that the person will live their scenario mainly from a defensive position, all their lives trying to rise above other people. In doing so, they will most likely perceive him as an oppressive, insensitive and aggressive person. Although this position is often called paranoid, it also corresponds to a psychiatric a personality disorder diagnosis In a third-degree losing scenario, this final scene may involve killing or maiming other people.

Position " I am not OK, you are not OK "represents the most likely basis for a losing scenario. Such a child has come to believe that life is empty and hopeless. He feels humiliated and unloved. He believes that no one can help him, as well as others not OK … So his script will revolve around scenes of rejection of others and his own rejection. Person in position " I am not OK, you are not OK ", such a life scenario will be played out mainly from a sterile position. In this position, he will consider that this world and the people inhabiting it are bad, as well as himself. If a person has written a banal scenario, his neglect of most life endeavors. If he has a fateful scenario, the outcome may be to "go insane" and earn a psychotic diagnosis.

Why the concept of a life scenario plays such an important role in theory Transactional Analysis?

Berne believed that "… the position is taken in early childhood (three to seven years) in order to justify a decision based on earlier experience." In other words, according to Berne, first there are early decisions, and then the child takes a life position, thereby creating a picture of the world that justifies the decisions he made earlier.

A position or scenario serves as a vehicle for us to understand why people behave this way and not otherwise. This understanding is especially necessary when we are exploring seemingly excruciating or self-destructive behaviors.

Scripting theory gives the following answer:

We do this to reinforce our script and help make it happen. Acting on the script, we relentlessly adhere to our children's decisions. When we were small, these solutions seemed to us the best possible way to survive and meet our needs. As adults, we in the Child Ego still continue to believe that this is the case. Without realizing it, we strive to organize the world in such a way as to give the appearance of justifying our early decisions.

Acting on a script, we try to solve our adult problems with the help of children's strategies. This necessarily leads to the same results as in childhood. With these unpleasant results, we can say to ourselves in the “Childhood state” of the Ego:

"Yes. The world is exactly as I believed it to be ".

And thus confirming the justification of our scenario beliefs, we can each time come one step closer to the denouement of our scenario. For example, as a child, a person might decide: "Something is wrong with me. People reject me. Ultimately, I was condemned to die in sadness and loneliness." As an adult, a person implements this plan of life, making it so that he is rejected over and over again. With each such rejection, he notes for himself another "confirmation" that the final scene of his script is a lonely death. Unconsciously, a person believes in the magical power of his presentation, believes that if he plays it to the end, then it is then that "Mom and Dad" will change and finally fall in love with him.

Like all other components of the scenario, the life position can be changed. As a rule, this happens only as a result of a lived insight - a sudden immediate intuitive awareness of one's scenario, - a course of psychotherapy or some kind of strong life shock.

EXERCISES: IDENTIFY YOUR SCENARIO:

Dreams, fantasies, fairy tales and children's stories can all serve as clues to our script. Here are some exercises using these tools.

As you do these exercises, let your imagination run wild. Don't think about why they are needed and what they mean. Do not try to weed out or invent something. Just accept the first images that appear to you and the feelings that may accompany them. You may begin to experience strong emotions as you do these exercises. These will be childhood feelings that surface along with your scripted memories. If you do have such experiences, you can decide at any time whether to continue with the exercise or stop it. These exercises are designed to be performed in pairs.

Exercise, Sleep. (works well in pairs):

Choose one of your dreams. You can learn most from a recent or recurring dream, although any other dream will do as well.

Tell your dream. Use the present, not the past.

Then, become each of the people or objects that occur in this dream and tell about yourself.

Remember what you experienced immediately after waking up from this dream. Was it a pleasant feeling or an unpleasant one?

How did you like the end of this dream? If not, you can expand the exercise by changing the ending of the dream. Tell the new ending of the dream in the same way as you told the whole dream, that is, using the present tense.

Check if you are satisfied with the ending of the dream. If not, come up with one or more endings.

Exercise, Item in the room. (works well in pairs):

Examine the room you are in. Pick an item. The one that your eyes fall on first is best. Now become this subject and tell about yourself.

For example: "I am a door. I am heavy, rectangular and wooden. Sometimes I get in the way of people. But when I do it, they just push me …"

To improve the effectiveness of the exercise, ask your partner to talk to you as to the appropriate subject. Your partner should not interpret what you are saying. He should just talk to you, as if you were a door, a fireplace, etc. For example:

"I am the door. When I get in the way of people, they push me." - "Door, how do you feel when people push you?" "I am angry. But I am the door and I cannot speak. I just let them do it." "That's it. Would you like to change anything to feel better?"