2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Nowadays it has become fashionable for a disappointed person to say "you had high expectations." You know, expectations are not always high, very often they are very healthy and very normal, for example, that your loved one will not cheat on you, or that he will not offend you or use your openness, availability and your trust. Normal expectations about normal relationships. Or that your girlfriend won't sleep with your boyfriend, or that your friend won't throw you in business. Also normal expectations about a normal relationship. If they are not considered normal, then we will have to admit that man is a wolf to man, and long live the planet Plyuk. If they are considered normal, then you will have to make an effort on yourself and preserve trust in the relationship.
It is impossible to maintain trust in a relationship if you do not admit that my personal actions could undermine the trust of my partner, because well, we are not ideal, we can potentially hurt each other without wanting to. But if you didn’t want it, it doesn’t mean that you couldn’t do it. And apart from sincere repentance and learning from experience, there is no other means of restoring trust.
The reluctantly thrown "sorry" does not work in such cases. If you over and over look through your fingers at the pain of a loved one, then your "sorry" is worthless. In this case, you just need to put an end to it, admitting, no matter how unpleasant it may be, that this person is not valuable to you, the relationship with him is not important to you. And this is the best and most valuable thing you can do: stop giving him hope that he will someday be important to you. Have the courage to at least realize that it is cruel to treat a person this way. "Oh, I'll hurt him!" - theatrical hand-wringing. You already offend him day after day by simulating a relationship.
Allegedly "overestimated expectations" are always supported by two parties, those who are deceived about the decency of a loved one, and those who deceive a loved one: they do not say anything or are silent. The worst thing is when an unwilling to be sincere in a relationship again and again accuses his partner "you are to blame for the fact that I am not interested in you." No, it is not his fault that you have different needs, it is not his fault that you do not want, and it is not his fault that you choose to lie. But when you say so, you seem to remain in white, you did not offend anyone, he himself is to blame. Very disgusting. Better an honest no than a false yes.
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