2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Yes, that's right - being yourself is scary enough. It is not known how others will react to me. Suddenly the relationship will deteriorate …
On the other hand, do I need such people with whom I can contact exclusively with my “persona”?
Even when I write this text, I am a little afraid internally, because I do not know how you, readers, will react to it. Being honest with people is a risk. But, as for me, quite justified. And several things help me not to collapse back into myself. First of all - I love it! The realization that I have what people are really interested in (and sometimes necessary) brings a feeling of richness, pleasure and gratitude. Especially when the topic under discussion is experienced in one's own experience, "felt by the skin." The risk of being ridiculed, aggressively criticized, or simply deeply misunderstood is always present, but this fear is incommensurate with the desire to be seen and heard. Secondly - do not believe it, but when I voice something and describe it more deeply, I first of all begin to understand the properties of the subject of conversation much more clearly myself. That is, my thoughts in about 90% of cases are impromptu, which sometimes makes me wonder and rethink many things. Thus, through such a description, I deal with, among other things, self-disclosure … And this for me, well, oh-very important and valuable.
What is it all for … Oh yes! To the fact that shame and fear of being real myself will always be with us (yes, alas, it will not work to become infinitely self-confident), the whole question is, if we still decided to live the way we want, what resources do we have and what experience do we have? By resources, I mean both an internal container with a different repertoire of ways of self-support, and an external source, in the person of people, near or far, who can support and warm us, accepting our naturalness. And experience, it is experience: the hardest thing is if we often in our life "flew" from someone else for our openness, it is easier - if we were accepted, or even admired.
It is quite understandable that since we chose the wrong path, there were reasons for that. We did not choose which family to be born in, which yard to grow up in, whom to study with, etc. But as adults, the responsibility to embody our own unique life lies solely with us. Blaming others for thorny paths and throwing stones is not a sin, but it is not a way to get ahead either. Recently I heard an incredibly apt statement:
"Real self-care is not a bath with salt and chocolate cake, but a choice to build your life so that you don't have to constantly run away from it."
By the fact of revealing ourselves to people, we show others our uniqueness, albeit not always convenient and universally approved (even though this, at times, and really want, eh), which gives us that necessary and valuable knowledge - Who I Am. Answering myself again and again to this question, the realization of what I need from life will not take long.
The closer we are to ourselves, the more filled we are, and life around us becomes somehow surprisingly happy and tasty.
Checked on yourself!
Another good news - to such sincere USthe same sincere, at the same time understanding people begin to reach out, as if confirming by their presence that we are moving in the right, hisdirection.
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