2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Be yourself - undoubtedly sounds great. If it is likely that you have already heard this many times from psychological gurus and eminent trainers.
Be yourself - the advice is undoubtedly good, but most of us, after hearing it, limit ourselves to a knowing nod - or, at best, utter a drawn-out “mmmm” and remember the joke about the billionaires from California who advise plumbers from Zadrypansk to leave their comfort zone.
So what, in fact, do you need to be yourself? What can we do in practice?
Being yourself: so why do you need it?
It’s hard to motivate our lazy mind (and even lazier body) to do something if we are not aware of the immediate benefits of something. “Being yourself” is perhaps the most mysterious of the recommendations ever presented to a person who wants to improve the level of his own life here and now.
“If you don’t take action within 5 seconds after you got an idea, in most cases there is a chance that you will not postpone it later and will never return to it,” says American career and relationship expert Mel Robbins.
How many great ideas have you trampled on today?
Being yourself: what does it mean?
Being yourself means using your strengths in such a way as to elevate your life to a higher level. This applies to all aspects of our being: spiritual and material; personal and worker; friendly and family; creative and financial.
Being yourself is to admit your right to make mistakes, without exaggerating your weaknesses. In other words, it is the ability to focus on your merits in such a way as to achieve the desired goals, while not infringing upon the right of other people to achieve theirs.
Being yourself is the ability to accept yourself with all your cockroaches and give them the right to life, because it is they who, at the right moment, can play a key role in achieving the desired result.
So, Be yourself: how to do it in practice?
Here you woke up in the morning and decided that it was time for you to become yourself.
Technique 1 … The first and most important task is to realize: what are you good at?
Consider what gives you the goosebumps. Surely there are events, words or people, at the mention of which your heart flutters, and the air around you seems to be filled with a quivering flicker of desire and delight. At these moments, your entire spiritual nature is trying to establish contact with your rational mind. Try noticing these states throughout the day.
Perhaps you have been pushing your feelings into the closet for so long and diligently that it is not so easy for them to scramble to the surface. However, this must be done. Let me tell you that you are unique from birth by default. This is your personal right. It has always been with you, and it always will be. Recognize this power in yourself!
Technique 2. Ask yourself: who do you envy?
Envy is the most disgusting feeling. If you don't take control of it immediately, it can transform into obsessive-compulsive disorder - and then you will need more than one year to overcome it.
However, if you have the courage to admit to yourself who you envy and why, you will be doing your future self a great service. Consider why you are jealous of this particular person. Your relationships with others will not deteriorate in any way if you admit to yourself that you are jealous. Admitting to yourself does not mean posting an announcement about it at your entrance or blowing all the pipes about your nobility on Facebook. Envy is okay. The only question is whether you will let it dominate you or turn it into an engine of personal progress.
Decide which qualities of the object of your envy cause you to faint and awe of adoration and delight. What happens if I tell you that any desired qualities in yourself can be developed?
We just need to decide what specifically we need to work on. Envy can do us a good service in the search for these qualities, and I ask you to be completely grateful to her for the fact that she plays such a positive role in human self-development!
Technique 3. Stop seeking approval from others.
You yourself are able to assess your actions. If it does not coincide with the opinion of your reputable colleague, it does not matter at all. Who said that a colleague herself does not envy you and, through pejorative comments, simply does not try to push your elated soul further into the closet?
Take it for granted that only you have the right to evaluate yourself and, on the basis of this assessment, build an understanding of who you are.
Any person, evaluating your actions, transfers part of their personality to you. In psychotherapy, this is called “countertransference”. When we talk about the world, we certainly transfer part of ourselves to it. Reasoning about one and the same person, we see his different hypostases, conditioned by our prism of seeing the world. This is why the opinions of others have little to do with who you really are.
Only you know who you are. Only you know what is best for you. Advice by advice, but the final decision is definitely yours.
Well, I realized who I am. So, what is next?
Realizing your role in this world, you will render humanity a tremendous service by making your contribution to the cycle of events in nature. Be brave! Tell us about yourself! Your discoveries can flow into reality in a stormy stream only due to the fact that once in your school years a chemistry teacher humiliated you, declaring in front of the whole class that you sit terribly at your desk (who the hell does it matter how you sit at your desk, if the main thing is not your position, but your result?)
While you are here, while life is glimmering in you, help us to know your individuality! Realizing that you are beautiful a priori, tell us about yourself through your books and paintings, wonderful films, scientific discoveries! Patent your own technology for harvesting autumn leaves, or show us how to be kinder to each other by speaking at TED Talks like this guy.
And in the end, finally throw out the very word "prestige" from your thoughts. There is nothing sadder than watching a great writer break into a master of sports with all his might just because it turns his girlfriend on.
Individuality for the benefit of society brings juicy fruits full of aroma and kindles a hearth of comfort, love and peace in the human soul. And an attempt to be accepted cripples fate, dooming a person to a bitter existence, when he wants to wring his hands and theatrically exclaim: "No one understands me! Why?" (The way in which the desire to join gives rise to the feeling that we are alone creates an interesting paradox, which is fascinating to think about - but we will do it some other time). The choice is yours.
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