How To Prevent Toxic Relationships?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

In the life of many girls, it often happens that a relationship with a man begins or develops "not as they would like."

A conflict of expectation and reality is inevitable if the demands of both parties, or even one, are overestimated.

Often, women under the influence of the macroenvironment (social attitudes, models broadcast in TV series, shows and other destructive programs) want to find a donor, sponsor at the expense of spiritual closeness and awareness of their own worth.

In other cases, girls, especially in a state of trauma or post-trauma, cannot determine their desire. Often experiencing a state of unrequited love, girls are looking for someone who will somehow embody their ideal of unfulfilled hopes.

So, a girl met with a representative of an ethnic group, for example, a Chechen, fell in love with all her soul, became imbued with his folk culture, accepted his personality. But the couple broke up. But to this day, the girl sees her lover in every representative of this ethnic group, trying to enter into relationships with men of this nationality, but never gaining the cherished feeling and the sought-after closeness.

In a post-trauma state, it is much easier to reproduce a negative scenario, despite unsuccessful attempts to work through the situation in therapy.

Toxic relationships will drag a trail of disappointments, collapse of hopes, illusions, they will contribute to dissociative disorder, leading the girl away from realizing reality and forming an objective picture.

Aggravating the internal conflict, this relationship will be an echo of ghostly expectations from the beloved, whom the girl is trying to see in each subsequent partner.

Thus, anxiety, a chronic feeling of dissatisfaction leads to an exacerbation of emotional experience.

Often, deeply disappointed in each subsequent partner, the girl goes into the state of "Oh, if only …" and into the immersion in the past associated with the first lover.

And it seems that life presents more and more sophisticated surprises, but in the end weakening the girl.

Any powerlessness, high tension, anxiety, dissatisfaction at different levels in a relationship with a partner are signs of a toxic relationship. In a state of discord and post-trauma, the girl is vulnerable to despotic, cruel authoritarian men, who demand from her obedience and submission.

Only an objective look, sober thinking, prudence are able to see all the subtleties and pitfalls of relations with a new partner.

First of all, ask yourself the question, "Is this love?"

The most common but subtle signs of toxic relationships in post-trauma are the following:

1. The man is putting pressure (this can manifest itself in the attitudes and stereotypes broadcast by him, from how a girl should look to the imposition of ideological and political views); 2. Call manipulation and emotional addiction … Let us consider this phenomenon in detail. So, in the early stages of the development of relationships, a man pays attention to a girl who, I recall, is in a state of trauma. Complimenting her, he lulls her vigilance, but this is what he uses. On a subconscious level, a man-despot and tyrant feels that this particular woman is an easy prey. Therefore, at first, during the first days of their acquaintance, he regularly calls and writes, but then their communication becomes more rare. The man does not make excuses, but only explains dryly: "Busy." Waiting for a call from him forms an addiction. Moreover, during that time of waiting for communication, the girl, although not aware, is experiencing dissonance. Indeed, in the new man she wants to see her former lover, and as a result she is drawn into new, extremely poisonous communication. 3. Formation of a sense of duty to a man. This milestone in the development of toxic relationships is the most dangerous and difficult to correct. In moments of despair, a girl tries to find protection in a man, but at the same time, she does not receive pleasure and satisfaction. For example, a girl needs support in view of some difficult issue, let it be a business trip to participate in a conference. A toxic man encourages her from a distance, but can also help financially. On the one hand, this is a positive sign in the development of relations. But on the other? After assistance is provided, manipulation and control are tightened, moreover, all kinds of tools are used to influence the girl. In particular, the girl is obliged to help not only the man, but also his relatives. Therefore, it is necessary to get out of such anxiously tense relations with the awareness that the sought-for ideal of the former lover has not been found, as well as, in fact, the ideal. The former beloved cannot be embodied in another body and soul, even if there are external similarities and spiritual qualities. To realize that the beloved man will forever remain in memory as a bright, albeit sad story, a difficult, difficult task, but extremely important for allowing oneself to be happy after parting. And at the same time, to rethink toxic relationships as a manifestation of inner, mental weakness at the moment "here and now" in a series of life events in order to prevent a negative scenario through volitional efforts and awareness.