2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"I AM TOO BUSY TO DIE"
Hedda Bolgar is unique. She lived to be 103 and treated patients almost to her last day, being the oldest member of the American Psychological Association. There was no end to the patients. And not only because her clinic accepted those who could not get help elsewhere - it was too expensive. And not only because Hedda was the last psychotherapist who lived on Earth to attend lectures by the very founder of this discipline, Sigmund Freud.
According to the recollections of those who knew her, Hedda was imbued with optimism, literally oozed the joy of life and passed it on to others. She knew how to save people from the fear of death, loneliness, suffering.
“I don’t know why people are so afraid of getting old,” Bolgar said. - It seems to me that they see age only loss, illness or some other disadvantages. But they do not see that in old age there are many acquisitions. Old age is freedom, experience, deep confidence that you can cope with everything."
Dr. Bolgar's clients were mostly elderly people, lonely, afraid of death. Many simply could not find a psychotherapist older than themselves, and they did not dare to entrust their problems to young people - they would not understand. In addition, Dr. Hedda described the advantages of "mature" age in such a way that old men and women began to envy themselves, and one journalist titled her interview with a psychotherapist: "When I grow up, I want to be Hedda Bolgar."
Bolgar laughed and compared herself to a traveling salesman who knows how to beautifully present not the most popular product. She "sold" old age.
On the threshold of her centenary, Hedda Bolgar said: “I have lived a happy life. And the last 10 years have been the happiest. What a pity that most of us are not able to test this on our own experience …
But here's another quote: "I discovered a lot of things after 65". This recipe can be useful to almost everyone, because so often we wilder and believe that life is over, has reached a dead end, that it is pointless to wait for changes - others, having exchanged their fifties, and some already in their fourths.
One of the secrets of Hedda Bolgar's long and happy life is constant action, activity. She lived to be 103 years old and received patients almost until her last day. Friends tried to calm her down, persuaded her to match her age, get more rest, but she just brushed it off. Her mind remained sharp, her thirst for work - unquenchable. She wondered why people were retiring. In the mornings, Hedda woke up with joy - after all, there were so many useful and pleasant things ahead! The main thing is to choose a job you like.
Hedda Bolgar always looked great - her hair, light makeup, indispensable earrings and a necklace in the color of the suit. Any other purely feminine secrets of preserving youth? Yes, it is unlikely that she had them. “In the last 80 years, I have not been doing much sports,” she joked. True, at 60 something began to do stretching exercises, similar to yoga. She was a vegetarian - but exclusively out of love for animals, since childhood. And also - very much loved to sleep.
I'm too busy to die, Hedda thought. A close friend of Hedda Bolgar recalled that he had to sign up for dinner with her for a month (!) - her calendar was so full.
One of the main fears associated with old age - the fear of loneliness - has clearly bypassed this amazing woman. Dozens of people came to her birthday parties. She had no children, but it seemed as if she was surrounded by a loving family. However, many of those guests really looked at Hedda as a mother: after all, she helped them to be reborn, to get out of the abyss of despair, hopelessness and fears.
Hedda's only regret with her age was that she could no longer make appointments with her, except for short-term therapy.
Feeling that the end of earthly life was near, Hedda Bolgar asked her friend to call the patients so that they would appoint themselves additional consultations with someone else. The last session she had was scheduled for the day of her death - May 14, 2013. Hedda perceived the transition to another world not as a tragedy, but as a journey into the unknown. She believed that something very good was waiting for her there. “I have lived a happy life, because I have always been needed by people,” she said.
Hedda Bolgar has always tried to help her patients not only accept their age, but also love it. Here are some of her recommendations that she gave to her clients at various times:
1. Work as long as your health allows. Take your time to retire.
2. Do not dwell on the past, it interferes with living in the present.
3. Don't worry about the future, it can bring pleasant surprises.
4. Do not withdraw into yourself. Don't talk all the time about disease and medicine. Go for walks, go to concerts, parks, meet friends.
5. Don't ask for attention and help from others. Show your own interest and empathy for people.
6. Do not grumble at young people, but try to make friends with them!
7. Engage in sports that you can.
8. Do not overeat, get enough sleep.
9. Try to find joy in the simplest everyday things.
10. Give thanks for every day you live.
Recommended:
About Those Who Were Deprived Of Their Childhood Early. And Adulthood Too
There are some children who matured too early. They grew up because there weren't any reliable adults, parents they could rely on next to them. Drinking, unpredictable, sometimes drunk, sometimes sober dad. A mother who left at the age of 5 to sit with her baby brother, and punished if her daughter did not cope well enough with her "
It's Never Too Late To Regain A Happy Childhood
Now the topic of childhood traumas, toxic relationships with parents, especially with mom, is widely discussed. There are many articles about negative experiences in childhood. And this experience leaves an imprint on our relations with partners, with our own children, with the world around us, and determines the criteria for our choice at each specific moment.
I Live Like A Squirrel In A Wheel - How To Relax After A Busy Day?
In 1990, David Lewis introduced the concept of Information Fatigue Syndrome. He translated this phenomenon of information overload closer to the impact on human health. He described it as: - a decrease in analytical skills - constant craving to search for new information (suddenly something new has appeared) - anxiety and insomnia (what happened during the day is constantly scrolling in my head.
Busy Man. If A Friend Is Always Pressed For Time
A busy man or if a friend has an eternal lack of time . One of the things that many girls face at the beginning of a relationship is such a catastrophic lack of time for their partner (especially if he is making a career or trying to pave his way in business), because of which love dates happen extremely irregularly, do not last long.
When It's Hard And Dear People Are Busy
One person asked me to write about when we need support or advice, but dear people do not give it. I quote the essence of the problem: “When your whole world has not turned away from you, but is busy with its own affairs, this is a great lesson.
