Children And Divorce

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Divorce of parents - a huge trauma for the child's psyche. When mom and dad break up, kids can experience a palette of negative emotions: anger, anxiety, sadness, resentment, frustration, guilt, and fear. In difficult life situations, it is especially important for a child that the closest people are near and support him. In a divorce, children most of all need both parents, and adults are sometimes busy only with their own worries and difficulties.

A family for any person, whether he is small or an adult, needs to meet the most basic needs: for love, acceptance, security. And when the family collapses, the feeling of stability, security is destroyed, the feeling of being needed and important for loved ones is lost. Adults have just finished their story, which once began, they already have the experience of life before marriage, they were once separate people from each other. A child does not have such experience, mom and dad are one and indivisible whole for him and he must build his idea of the family, relationships and his place in them from scratch.

How can you help your baby get through this difficult period?

1. It is very important for the child to talk about what is happening in the family. Better to do this with the two parents when you can find enough time to talk. The preferred time is morning or day off. The child must take from this conversation that the feelings between mom and dad are lost, but they will forever remain his parents.

2. It is important for the child to tell how his life will go now: where mom and dad will live, where he will live, when he will meet with his parent, with whom he will spend his vacation, how he will receive pocket money, etc. You should make it as clear as possible to the child that the divorce concerns the parents, and his life remains unchanged.

3. Whatever the reasons for divorce, it is important for the child's psychological well-being to be able to love both parents. If your negative feelings about your partner prevail, see a family counselor who can help you build relationships and find the strength to survive the divorce.

The main mistakes of parents:

1. The desire to completely shift the blame for the divorce onto the partner;

2. Criticism and insults of a partner when communicating with a child;

3. Asking the child for details of another family;

4. Accusing the child of being similar to a partner in a negative way;

5. Obstacle in the child's communication with the other parent;

6. Desire to take on the role of two parents;

7. The desire to shift the role of a partner onto a child (for example, to tell a son - you are now an adult man in the family, instead of a dad).