When It's Hard And Dear People Are Busy

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

One person asked me to write about when we need support or advice, but dear people do not give it.

I quote the essence of the problem:

“When your whole world has not turned away from you, but is busy with its own affairs, this is a great lesson. Especially when you are on the edge and all your loved ones are simultaneously busy."

Yes, it’s difficult. Feelings of uselessness, betrayal, resentment. The saddest thing is because of those whom I counted on very much and did not expect their indifference.

Is this a lesson? May be. I would call it a growing up moment.

In such situations, we make choices and make decisions. Moreover, we do this not only in relation to the actual problem, but also in relation to our attitude to what is happening.

What is important to remember:

1. We make a decision: we grieve that our relatives are such scoundrels, they cannot give up their affairs for us; or we internally gather and ask ourselves the question "how can we cope on our own without the help and advice of others."
2. It is our life. Only we take responsibility for it, make decisions, look for ways to overcome various situations and problems. Even if they decide for us, help us, advise, recommend, give, - only we are responsible for letting it into our life.
3. When, in a calm state, we choose the above points towards independence, at a critical moment we orient ourselves faster.

In the state of "everyone is synchronously busy", it is very difficult for a person to reason at the level of an adult. His inner child needs attention and help. The child does not care that others have the right to go about their own business.

Often we also provoke such an alignment of situations with our attitudes. In other words, we have an intrinsic motive to want everyone to be busy in times of great need.

From personal experience: I call one, the second, the third. I say to myself: “I understood, now I need myself by myself. I need to deal with this on my own. I have to focus and find a solution to everything that happens. " I sit down and start looking at what feelings and emotions are inside me. What's stopping me. What resources do I have? Do I have enough information to handle the situation. What I want. Is this possible due to the circumstances. Then I think about the participants in my problem. I think about how I would feel if they would behave towards me the way I do. And I ask myself if they are entitled to such behavior. And I answer it honestly. I answer as if this question was asked to me. My answer is not from the point of view "I must", but from the point of view of desire, "I want."

What do I get when I solve the situation on my own?

• A very powerful insight. Every time I learn and discover something mega-valuable.
• The realization that no one could handle this better than me. The advice of others would hardly have helped.
• Relief. Satisfaction. The victorious feeling "I did it."
• Calls from all friends and relatives in the first 10 minutes after I solved my problem.

I will also say that each time, the need for others becomes less. Accordingly, and resentment against them. Because these situations are for us, not for people from "our world." We must give them the right to their life. We must learn to see in this “synchronicity” a beneficial and beneficial situation for us.