Normal Children: When You Don't Need To Go To A Psychologist

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Video: Normal Children: When You Don't Need To Go To A Psychologist

Video: Normal Children: When You Don't Need To Go To A Psychologist
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Normal Children: When You Don't Need To Go To A Psychologist
Normal Children: When You Don't Need To Go To A Psychologist
Anonim

Author: Katerina Demina

"Strange" eating behavior

Fine: have a menu of six to seven items and not agree to try anything from an unfamiliar range. This is not autism or schizophrenia. This is normal legibility and adherence to one's taste preferences. This is one of the oldest evolutionary mechanisms that prevents mass poisoning and death of offspring. That is, when a child until adolescence eats only dumplings, mashed potatoes, sausages of strictly the same brand, does not eat fruits / only apples / only tangerines / only if peeled, the meat is only checked, does not eat anything at all without sauces / without ketchup, does not eat at home, and eating at my grandmother's - this does not mean anything in itself! Just ignore it. In the end, it's easier for you to live knowing that you can cook a pot of pasta for three days and not be fooled.

Abnormal: if he vomits from any dish except one or two. If the child is emaciated, not gaining weight, or has clear signs of obesity. Explicit - this does not mean "two folds on the tummy when he sits on the pot", it means "weighs more than it should be in terms of age and height, by 20%." And the endocrinologist confirms this.

Too quiet / shy

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It is normal: do not rush with a squeal into a crowd of unfamiliar children at a children's birthday party in a cafe, but stand quietly, holding dad's hand for 10-15 minutes. Then go, sit in the corner, watch. It is normal not to approach the animator, not to get involved in the general rage, not to participate in noisy games with tug-of-war, not to like attractions, to refuse to go to the circus, to cry in the cinema. It is very, very useful not to approach strangers at the first call, to avoid companies and groups of teenagers on the street, to refuse to shake hands with strangers.

All this suggests one thing: your child has a normal, healthy nervous system. He is well aware of his own and others' boundaries, clearly distinguishes between his own and strangers

Perhaps he will avoid in the future many problems associated with impulsiveness and being drawn into questionable enterprises.

Abnormal: he cannot contact anyone at all, there is not a single friend, refuses to go to the playground, sobs if guests come to the house.

Imaginary friends, favorite game

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It's okay to play the same thing for years, watch the same cartoon 500 times. Do not settle for a new toy instead of an old, worn out one. Have an imaginary friend, talk to him, demand a separate place for him in the car, at the table, in bed. Celebrate his birthday and save money for a gift. This is not a reason to think that your child is lonely and abandoned by everyone, that he does not know how to build relationships with peers, that you devote little time to him. This is a game, a necessary stage of development.

From a letter: “A girl, 3, 5 years old, watched the cartoon“Ice Age”and now she walks everywhere with this damn Marten, Buck. He speaks in his voice, laughs deeply, copies all his actions. Doctor, I'm worried! " A friendly chorus of psychologists: “To see a psychiatrist urgently! The child is hallucinating, not testing reality! " Pardon me, gentlemen, what kind of reality testing in three years? This is the age norm!

Abnormal: he sits in a tablet for days, cannot be torn off, demands cartoons to hysterics, does not play and cannot do anything except electronic games, threatens to commit suicide if he loses his computer.

Experiencing loss

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It is normal: to mourn the death of a pet, to fall into long sadness about leaving the father's family, to experience the death of a grandmother. Likewise, it's okay not to do all of this.

The child may be too young to realize what happened, or did not notice at all that something happened (the grandmother lived in another city, the last time they saw each other was when the child was one and a half years old). The hamster could be unloved, the dog scared him and smelled bad, the fact that his father left the family turned out to be the most beautiful Sundays together, and not constant scandals between the parents.

So, dear parents, I beg you: do not catch up! Yes, there are really serious reasons for contacting specialists. Basically, they relate to abrupt or persistent changes in the child's condition: there was a cheerful lively frolic - she suddenly became quiet and sad. Always ate (did not even eat, but ate) - suddenly began to refuse food. I went to visit my grandparents with joy and eagerness - suddenly began to flatly refuse, even hiding under the bed. This is where you need to start worrying, and in the latter case, seriously worrying.

For toddlers, there are very clear and accessible developmental norms: when the child must hold his head, sit down, start walking, start talking. For preschool and school children, there is your child's experience. Does it seem to you that everything is in order? Is he moderately independent, spends enough time on the street, does he have at least one real friend, does he go to school? Relax and mind your own business.

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