Top 30 Conflicts That Arise Before Establishing An Intimate Relationship In A Love Couple

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Situation number 1. Your appearance set the man up for quick sex

Coming with your new friend to a club or to a party in a very frank manner, you caused him to react somewhat differently than you expected. Having made you sit in his car (or seeing you off at your entrance), he began to “pester” you dirty, and you broke away in horror and ran away. What kind of sex and good relationships then … In the end, it is not surprising that this was all over.

Your error: This situation is incredibly typical. In this case, your mistake is not at all that you were very effective, but that you turned out to be very effective precisely when you yourself did not want sex, but your very appearance was unambiguously perceived by a man precisely as a signal to action! And your partner will leave you simply because, being in this situation, you so too sharply demonstrated your unwillingness to sexual intimacy, that your partner later became very ashamed of his behavior and he could not communicate with you further due to the fact that he was ashamed and he can no longer look you in the eye.

Situation number 2. Heat and then cool

Smoothly moving from kissing first to hugs, and then to partially undressing each other, reaching the level of your underwear, you softly, tactfully and delicately, but still very firmly hinted that enough for today is enough. In response to the partner's indignant statements “Why, that's enough! Why then inflame me like that ?!”, you either called him an unrestrained male or, on the contrary, refused to comment on the situation at all. As a result, you with a very high degree of probability can have a very big fight.

Your error: Women's ideas that not wanting to step into an intimate relationship and at the same time allowing her man some liberties, the lady, thus, renders him a great service, are in fact erroneous and are absolutely not welcomed by the men themselves. They perceive this as a form of mockery and prefer more straightforward schemes: either everything is possible or absolutely nothing is possible! In either case, having any certainty, they feel more comfortable.

Situation number 3. Preventive cooling of a partner by a frustrated date

After passionate kisses and hugs last evening, you understand by the mood of your new friend that during the next date, most likely, a more serious attempt at your sexual assault will be made. Therefore, at the last minute (under any pretext) you cancel the date and reschedule it somewhere later. Your plan is simple: to let your partner “cool down” a little, to carry out preventive cooling of his violent erotic ardor.

However, despite the very sincere intonations and references to a suddenly ill mother (a session, the arrival of relatives, a dead cell phone battery, traffic jams, a protracted meeting, a broken tap, an emergency at work, etc.), your partner correctly understood the situation and generally stopped insisting on the next meetings. In the future, he simply no, no, and he calls, writes text messages, but he no longer makes dates. As a result, you found yourself in a stupid position: asking for dates yourself is about the same as agreeing to intimacy, and refusing to be active is tantamount to losing a relationship … So choose!

Your mistake. In this case, if you do not plan to have sex in the coming weeks or months, it is best not to let your partner kiss and hug you for all sorts of intimate places before your appointed time. Of course, it will be a little more boring this way, but you will avoid ambiguity and excessive tension in the situation.

Situation number 4. Lies during harassment

Walking in the evening with your friend somewhere along the embankment, you lied to him that you urgently need to return home just when he started trying to hug and kiss you. Of course he understood this, began to express his resentment, you diplomatically got out of it (you have such nervous relatives that it’s just awful!), Outwardly everything ended quite decently … But, as they say, everyone still had an unpleasant aftertaste …

Your mistake. Instead of honestly and directly declaring that you consider hugs and kisses not yet your format of communication, you kind of demonstrated your relationship to him according to the scheme: "The snout did not come out." That is, a man, having never heard about your innate virtue and a principled approach to the beginning of love and sexual relations, may simply think that you, in principle, do not mind hugging, and your refusal to hug (and subsequent sex) just today, more likely total, is associated only with any of the following circumstances:

- either with your desire to fill your own worth and force a man to start buying your favor with perfume, going to the cinema or something else;

- or with the fact that you considered it beneath your dignity to start kissing (and even so soon!) with such a very ordinary gentleman (without a Mercedes and an apartment in the city center).

As a result, your friend was very offended and very thoughtful: Does he really need to "walk" you and bring you to the desired condition with all sorts of gifts. Is it worth the candle?

Situation number 5. You already have everything planned out

After your friend tried to pat you on the knee on the second date, you strongly told him that this is not done and such behavior is allowed only in at least the third week of the relationship. And in general, usually you are friends for at least a month, and only then you decide whether you can go to bed, or it is more expedient to limit yourself to just a cup of coffee once a week. In general, everything should be like everyone else: according to a certain plan and a pre-approved schedule.

Your error: Your reference to some previous experience and some rules of decency may lead your acquaintance to the idea that you have already slept with a fairly large number of men. And if so, the question is reasonable: “Is it worth waiting for something that has already been planned anyway (albeit in a month)? We are not animals who must necessarily adhere to certain standards and courtship rituals. Maybe we should still consciously reduce the time of empty waiting? . And since you are clearly not going to shorten the time of ritual courtship, a man's resentment, so incomprehensible to most women, immediately arises. And she - from jealousy!

Situation number 6. Your panic is too obvious

Despite your assurances that you are completely free today, you suddenly remembered that you promised to visit a sick friend. And it happened exactly when, leaving the cinema, your friend suggested that you go for a drive somewhere outside the city or chat in a car in a quiet place. Not a single muscle flinched in his face, but you drove almost in silence to the house, and the next day he did not call.

Your error: In this case, you just thought that your man is much stupider than you and does not understand what caused the abnormal change in your behavior. But, alas: this man was not only not very stupid, but also touchy …

Situation number 7. You just turned off your phone

Yesterday evening was very erotically tense: your boyfriend kissed and kissed you on the cheeks and neck, stroked your arms and shoulders, and strove to stroke you somewhere else. Realizing that the man needs to somehow cool down, you did not find anything better than to ask him to take you home with a promise to meet him again in an hour and go for a drive around the city at night. Rightly believing that this kind of continuation of the evening promises you only a fight with strong male hands, then you simply turned off your phone (and he still does not know your home phone number). The next day, you lied to him about the fact that you unexpectedly fell asleep very soundly, but for some reason your further relationship became cooler.

Your error: In this situation, you still should have called and apologized for disrupting the evening. Practice shows that in this scenario, lying about a suddenly ill mother turns out to be a mistake, but still a lesser evil than a mechanical voice annoying male pride in your disconnected mobile phone.

Situation number 8. You hug without enthusiasm

On another date, your friend got a little more courage and started kissing and hugging you. You treated this with understanding and, in principle, did not mind. However, they themselves did not want to be responsive at the same time. As a result, you just stood rooted to the spot, insensitive, with your hands down and your lips firmly closed. After two or three minutes of this, so to speak, "procedure", the man's optimism faded and your evening was crumpled.

Your mistake. Men call this form of kissing (when the lady does not kiss back) "licking the pillar" and are very annoyed about this. It is their deep conviction that you should:

- or to avoid male kisses altogether (if you are still against this event or you are in a bad mood);

- or show reciprocal sexual energy and, at least, also hug your friend and kiss him back …

Situation number 9. You didn't even allow your friend to do that

After two or three attempts of your new acquaintance to hug you on the street, or with some mutual acquaintances, to pat you on the back, buttocks or thighs, you cannot stand it and angrily say to him: “… You know, Igor, I have such behavior even to my past I didn't let my friend! And I made friends with him for two whole years, and not that three months with you … . After that, the man not only does not touch you with his hands in front of everyone, but also does not show any more sexual activity (or even disappears altogether!).

Your mistake. Men are very proud people and therefore any comparison of your friend with someone else immediately causes his instant jealousy of your past and aggression in the present. And since such male behavior is an organic part of male demonstrative behavior in general, it is quite problematic to deal with this type of male action. And at the very least, in no case should you refer to the fact that you did not allow this to someone else there!

However, we will discuss this in more detail in Chapter 16, Male Sexual Demonstration Behavior.

Situation number 10. Dry goodbye without a kiss

After the end of your date, you either quickly, quickly said to your friend "Bye!" and either quickly jumped out of his car without a kiss, or parted with him on the street, and did not run him outside the code door of their entrance (thereby saving themselves from his possible manifestations of all sorts of unnecessary tenderness). And on the next date, he kept looking and looking at you, and there was sadness in his eyes …

Your mistake. If all this happened during the very first date, then your mistake is not at all: you absolutely correctly "keep your brand." However, if your communication has been going on for about a month, the final kissing after dating is already just a must. Otherwise, your man will never be able to understand how you feel about him: you really value him as a man, or just communicate with the one at whose expense you can go to the movies, until an option with a more interesting perspective appears. And the fact that you leave a man on the street is generally a humiliation for him: he is not a dog!

Situation number 11. You didn't sit next to him

When you come to someone's party with your friend, you:

- demonstratively sat down not next to, but with one of their girlfriends, or (God forbid!) to one of their male acquaintances;

- or at first they sat down next to him, but then they quarreled slightly and only then defiantly moved away from him.

Your mistake. In this case, we are again dealing with male demonstrative behavior. And I can only tell you one thing: if you value the developing relationship even a little, it is categorically not recommended to do so!

Situation number 12. You don't hold his hand while walking

On your first walks together:

- you absolutely do not hold the hand of your new acquaintance;

- pretend not to notice how he offers it to you;

- for the sake of decency, sometimes you still take him by the elbow, however, after a couple of minutes, as if by chance, you unhook him and walk on your own again.

Thus, you show your lady's pride, emphasize your independence and do not at all consider such behavior to be any mistake.

Your mistake. If all this happened during the very first dates, then there is no mistake: you are demonstrating the completely normal behavior of a lady who has not had a friend for a long time and who has already lost the habit of all these walking rituals. However, if you behave like this on your third or fifth walk, then your friend may well think that you are embarrassed to take his arm due to the fact that you have some other man who is yours. behavior (in the event that someone from well-wishers informs him about it), to put it mildly, will not like it. Therefore, after two or three joint exits somewhere, it is still necessary to take your friend by the arm …

Situation number 13. Coldness in response to coldness

Once you did a stupid thing and a week after you met you agreed to visit your friend next weekend. However, when their time came, you wisely changed your mind and abandoned your decision. As a result, the partner was terribly offended at you and on all subsequent dates, he demonstratively refused both kisses on the cheek and hugs and stroking you on the back. And you clearly understand: if you do not show your own erotic interest, the relationship runs the risk of quietly fading away.

Your error: In this case, your partner either considered that by your refusal to go to his house, you "pointed out his place" and, as it were, unobtrusively emphasized that there is no place for sex in these relationships at all (and then for a man they generally lose all meaning), or suggested that this week you met someone else and plan to visit a completely different man. And in this case, you should either not give your prior consent at all, or go to visit, immediately stipulating that everything you have will be limited exclusively to tea and nothing more …

Situation number 14. You are offended by the offer to visit your friend on your own

Your relationship is developing quite decently, but kisses and hugs are quite common for you. You have already stopped by with your friend to visit him, and at the same time he behaved quite correctly. The situation changed at the moment when, one day, he invited you to come to visit him at home on your own. Information that a friend's car broke down, he lies at home with a fever, he considered it senseless to pay for a taxi "two ways" and offered to meet you and pay for you (etc., etc.) irritation. Angrily declaring to him: "… You, what do you think that I am some kind of" call girl "!? I didn't even think that you can offer me THIS?”, You hung up and almost burst into tears. And the relationship after that somehow faded …

Your mistake. Life and love relationships should be accepted in all the variety of possible situations. From the point of view of public morality, the arrival of a girl to her friend on her own (especially if he already had one) is not something reprehensible or indicative of her moral decline for a long time. So, in this case, you could well either come or refuse this offer under some more or less beautiful pretext. And there would be no conflict situation.

Situation number 15. A pointless visit

Having come to visit your acquaintance or friend, you made every effort to ensure that his plan to fill you up in bed was a complete fiasco. His angry rhetorical question about why you then agreed to come to him and did not understand what all this could lead to, causes you sincere irritation and you quarrel.

Your error: Men really do not understand why girls agree to visit them if they do not intend to enter into an intimate relationship. And there are absolutely no hopes that all men will improve in the very near future …

Situation number 16. Unlucky weekend

Having gone with your new acquaintances campaign "three girls and three boys" someone to a country house or recreation center for the weekend, instead of spending the night "in a mixed composition", you go to bed separately as girls.

Your error: This situation is from the same opera as the previous one. Well, men do not understand that, leaving somewhere with the ladies, you can do without sex! They do not understand and that's it! And it is almost impossible to re-educate them.

Situation number 17. It turns out that you are ashamed of "busy" men

You start to communicate with a married man, be friends with him for a while, but at that moment when he begins to show you attention as a woman, suddenly your statement follows that his “busy” status is somewhat “annoying” and knocks off erotic thoughts. In fact, you just wanted to add value to yourself and increase his attention to your person (as people say, "to sell more expensively"), but instead of strengthening the connection, something exactly opposite happens and the relationship gradually begins to "dissolve" …

Your error: In this case, the man will either consider you a "strange person" who herself does not know what she wants from life (already in the first minutes of communication, you knew that I was married and knew what all men needed: so why didn't you immediately end the relationship? ?), or a professional semi-contender who is ready to close her eyes to some of the nuances of male marital status, only in exchange for a more or less decent financial reward. A certain number of men may not be satisfied with this alignment.

Situation number 18. The married man felt ashamed …

When you find yourself in a more or less intimate environment with your friend - a married man, in order to maintain a conversation, you begin to ask about his children. And then you wonder why he somehow wilted and is no longer active.

Your error: As many men admit, a conversation about their children with the woman with whom they want to create a love or intimate relationship begins to openly put pressure on their conscience and seems to be a kind of hint that he has a wife and children awaiting him: and he is so- syakoy, trying to get something on the side here … Those men who really have a conscience, instantly lose their erotic enthusiasm and grow cold towards the lady.

Situation number 19. Allegedly you are a complete teetotaler

Having met, after some time you tell your friend that you do not drink alcohol at all. To your great surprise, even after six months of friendship, he did not dare to put his hand on your waist …

Your error: Among the so-called decent men, there are quite a few who, due to their shyness and lack of great sexual experience, simply do not imagine how it is possible to seduce a teetotal lady and exactly what moment can be used for this.

Situation number 20. You refuse to drink with him

During one of your first dates, mentioning that you really like some certain alcoholic drinks, then several times in a row you turn down your friend's offers to drink something from your own list. After that, for some reason, he took offense and made calls and text messages much less often.

Your error: In this case, you are again dealing with male pride. Knowing that you are quite capable of drinking alcohol, and based on your own words, sometimes you do this, a man may be offended that you drink with others, but with him, you see, you are not good … In addition, your friend may think that you do not trust him (especially since this is actually true!) and therefore are afraid of losing control over yourself in his presence. And some overly touchy men can get so angry because of all this that the relationship really does not work out …

Situation number 21. Quarrel over virtual sex

By texting your new acquaintance via text messages, you imperceptibly delve into communication on sexual topics. He asked you a question about how you feel about certain types of sex, you wrote that you are categorically against it. He laughed at your sexual limitations and complexes, and you wrote to him indignantly: “I don’t like it, don’t eat!”. A certain invisible barrier arose in the relationship and they began to gradually "deflate", eventually not reaching not only sex, but even the stage of kissing at the entrance.

Your error: Everything is elementary. Polls show that a very large number of both men and women perceive virtual conversations and negotiations about sex as completely real. Of course, with this approach to the matter of virtual "bummer" is enough for a man to decide: since all the dots above the "i" are already placed, it means that it is simply pointless to continue communication. But for the ladies, all this is nothing more than a joke.

Situation number 22. Your friend has already done THAT, and you have not

You are a couple for a couple friends with someone. Your friend and her friend have done THIS a long time ago, but you are still pulling and are afraid of something. Of course, from your partner's side, certain claims begin to be presented to you. Once in your hearts, telling him: “What am I supposed to be like this sexually preoccupied woman?”, You strongly strain the relationship and risk ending it completely.

Your error: Having started to build relationships according to the "couple for couple" scheme, you should immediately agree with your partner that you should not be a free application to another couple and will not blindly copy any of their actions. Especially perfect in bed.

Situation number 23. You are too sincere about your love past

Considering that a new acquaintance is exactly what you have been looking for for so long, finding yourself with him in an intimate setting, you decide to tell him everything about yourself as in confession, including about your past relationships with men. As a result, two extreme options for the development of the situation may arise:

Option "A". He will immediately consider you an easily accessible girl, will immediately try to offer you to have sex and, having received a rebuff, will be very offended.

Option "B". He will again consider you an easily accessible girl and, conversely, will refuse to continue communicating with you.

In any of these options, communication will gradually fade away.

Your error: When communicating with new men for themselves, ladies are strictly forbidden to talk about those friends with whom you once had affairs. I repeat: this is strictly prohibited!

Situation number 24. Sexual practice lags behind theory

Theoretically, you have long ago agreed to somehow do THIS, but when your partner offers you this concretely, then you do not have time, then there is no mood, then the place proposed for the implementation of the plan does not suit you at all. As a result, the theory never goes into practice and one day or you or your partner do it with someone completely different.

Your error: Having made the decision to move on to an intimate relationship, in no case should you delay the beginning of the process! Otherwise, the man will lose interest in this, he may begin to think that you are very bad in bed and therefore are afraid to upset him. And in general, it can accumulate such a powerful excess sexual energy that one day it will simply break down on that lady who will behave more determinedly.

Situation number 25. Consistency and inconsistency

You are erotically very bold when talking to him about THIS on the phone, during text messages or the Internet. In this format of communication, you can write literally anything, think deeply about what is possible in sex and what is not, position yourself as a lady without complexes. However, in personal communication with your friend, you seem to be paralyzed, and you are not only afraid to hug him, but even embarrassed, sitting in a cafe, to cuddle him sideways or kiss. He looks at you in a strange way and for some reason is offended.

Your mistake. Not all men can immediately understand that all your supposedly "sexual advancement" is in fact a bluff and a complete lie, in fact caused by your inexperience. Therefore, your friend may well think that with other men you are "very, very much", and your sexual inhibition with him specifically is a sign that you are treating him somehow wrong. This offends him, humiliates him, and essentially repels him. And it is right in this situation to behave like this: If you really do not have a lot of sexual experience yet, either do not try to play a role that is unusual for you, or (if you have already begun to play it), promptly admit to your friend that you have played too much. With a very high degree of probability, your friend will not only understand you, but will also have respect for you, both for your honesty and for your ineptitude.

Situation number 26. Technical difficulites

Finding yourself in a favorable environment for the first sex during the period of critical days, you begin to be very complex about this and shy away from your friend's proposal. His idea of satisfying each other with oral, anal, or manual methods instead of normal sex causes you genuine protest. As a result, he comes to the conclusion that he was faced with a case of extreme sexual primitiveness and even thanks fate for the fact that you stopped in time and did not do anything. In such cases, there is usually no more continuation of trying to do this someday. Is that after repeated assurances of the female half that now everything will be completely different …

Your error: Being in the stage of critical days and theoretically assuming the possibility of male sexual assault, you should either fundamentally avoid those situations where you can be one-on-one with your friend, or … have a moral readiness for any other options for mutual sexual gratification. And there is no other way.

Situation number 27. Quarrel over taking a shower

Having hugged enough on the couch, you decided to move on to something more serious, but before that you decided to smoke a cigarette or go to the bathroom to take a shower. For some reason, your partner began to object to this, you considered it a violation of your personal rights and freedoms as a citizen and a person. As a result, you quarreled, sexual attraction passed and you broke up without accomplishing anything. Outwardly, this whole situation strongly resembles a false start in sports: there was a whistle to the beginning of active actions, a jerk … and then everything returned to normal …

Your error: In this case, you absolutely should definitely meet the wishes of your partner. Sex is a very emotional and momentary thing. Therefore, delay in it is categorically discouraged. Why, we will specifically talk in this book in the chapters "Such a trifle as a shower" and "Don't smoke in bed!"

Situation number 28. The tactlessness of the man, the touchiness of the woman

After the preliminary hugs and kisses, you were already completely in the mood to have sex, but your friend unexpectedly offensively rode about the shape of your panties or ridiculed the vegetation in an intimate place or on your legs (many men now find this not modern and anti-sexy). You got upset and quickly put your clothes back on in protest. In the end, the realization of the most cherished erotic fantasies never took place.

Your error: Since in the framework of love and intimate relationships it is extremely rare that people do not talk about sex at all in advance, respected ladies should try to at least roughly imagine the erotic and aesthetic preferences of their potential partner. And if you do not know them at all, and your partner is not very tactful, be prepared for not very pleasant situations. They will not be slow to make themselves known!

Situation number 29. Specific understanding of female pride

Having undressed and already proceeding to preliminary actions on the erotic front, you are faced with the fact that the fighting spirit of your partner leaves much to be desired and he does not have an erection. You rejected the offer of your partner to increase his sexual ardor, starting with oral sex, in a state of extreme indignation: they say, all this is somehow ugly and, in general, a humiliation of a woman. As a result, sex never took place, as they say, for technical reasons. Namely, because of the inability of your partner to normal sexual intercourse and his outburst of wild rage due to your refusal.

Your error: Either you have been doing a preliminary warm-up for too long and your partner is already emotionally and physiologically overheated (we will talk about this in Chapter 17 "The main male difficulty of the first time"), or you should still abandon unnecessary complexes and master the whole spectrum of various sexual techniques.

Situation number 30. You only accept classic sex

Faced with your reluctance to go on to a full-scale sexual relationship (or presupposing a refusal on your part), the partner suggests that you limit yourself to satisfying each other at least with your hands (in a manual way). You define such a sentence almost as a perversion, you say a lot of harsh and unnecessary things. As a result, you have absolutely no sex anymore. And most likely, he will no longer be with this person at all.

Your error: In this situation, if you have a very modest understanding of sex, you should fundamentally decide for yourself:

- or you give up sex altogether (and go to a nunnery);

- or you still collect all your will and rationality into a fist and begin to learn intimate caresses in all their diversity.

Otherwise, your whole life will consist of some intimate problems …