Establishing Rules In Relationships

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If you look at the age stages, then starting from the transition period, the child moves away from his parents. Gradually, we move into an age when we need more relationships with partners, lovers than with mom or dad. These are natural processes that take place in each of us.

Thanks to this, our dependence on our parents turns into independence and independence. The function of warmth, attention, love and care is transferred to another object. At the same time, new needs and other contact with a person arise. Rules and obligations are established between partners, responsibilities and priorities are distributed. The woman is responsible for this, since she is responsible for the inner part of the relationship.

A woman can take the rules:

• in my family,
• family of a man,
• come up with your own, taking into account the vision of the relationship you are striving for, the example in your family and the characteristics of the relationship in a couple.

In the first option, there is a risk of her parents' interference in relations with noble intentions, to suggest how to do it correctly. Most often, with this option, the woman is not completely separated from the family and depends on her mother's opinion, perhaps even without her mother she cannot make decisions.

The second option is that a man is attached to his mother, continues to follow her rules, and with this option he does not really need a spouse, or rather, he does not need to create something of his own, but to satisfy those needs that cannot be satisfied with his mother. It is important to understand here that if a woman has not established her own rules, her man follows the rules of another woman. And who told him from childhood what to do and how to act? - mom. With this option, mom will be in priority, and family in second place. At the beginning of a relationship, caring for and custody of a mother can cause admiration, but later it comes to understanding that a couple or family lives in the rhythm of the wishes of the man's mother.

The healthiest option is for a couple to create their own rules. When there is an understanding that everyone has their own family, their own life. They respect each other's choices and the decisions they make. The family of parents is one institution, the family of children is another. They can cooperate, help each other, but with their charters they do not come to visit. Also, everyone has their own program. And it is not entirely correct when someone spent 80% of the semester studies at another institute. Those. most of the time the spouses, the couple (taking into account the financial independence) should spend together. Our own priorities, each other's and the children’s, are in the first place. Then there were parents, relatives, friends and acquaintances.

What else should be added. Yes, the woman is responsible for enforcing the rules. However, the man is responsible for the external influence on the family. If the rules of his mother-in-law or his mother dominate in his family, you need to ask your spouse to resolve this issue. At the same time, it is important to help her as much as possible in this - to provide her with everything necessary to change the rules. Don't sit around and wait for something to happen on its own in your family. Analyze who influences your relationship and protect yourself from outside influences.

Always remember that a relationship is 2 people, your help to each other and cooperation is the key to healthy, happy, warm relationships in love.