2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Personal boundaries are a certain set of rules that outlines the framework for how a person can behave, and how not. Everyone has their own vision of their own personal boundaries.
A person who has healthy self-esteem, loves, values and cares for themselves clearly sets their personal boundaries. In this article, we'll just talk about what is needed in order to establish your personal boundaries and require them to be observed.
Sounds, at first glance, belligerent. In fact, this is a completely natural process. Someone long ago decided on himself and now simply lives within the framework of his coordinate system. And someone else is on the path of realizing their boundaries, he has to take certain steps to concretize them.
This is what is important in establishing and maintaining personal boundaries.
1) Knowing yourself and accepting yourself
It all starts with these things.
How well you know yourself. Do you accept yourself. Are you attentive to your inner state?
2) Ability to highlight the main thing
The ability to determine what is your priority. And what things do you relate to more easily.
3) Reasonableness of requirements
There is no perfect world and perfect people. At some points, it is worth showing tolerance. But, if you understand that your boundaries are clearly violated, then this cannot just be left.
4) Ability to say no
The ability is correct, but specifically to refuse.
There are many who need a separate study of this skill.
5) Clear definition of your boundaries
What is specifically formulated in the head, then simply and clearly it will turn out to be expressed in communication with other people.
6) Ability to convey this information in the language of the interlocutor
Each person needs their own approach. Someone needs a couple of phrases. Someone needs an example.
Want to be heard? Speak the language of the other person.
7) Respect for yourself and others
It is important not only to demand that your boundaries be respected. But also respect the right of others to autonomy, independence, personal space.
8) Willingness to protect yourself
In some situations, you will have to implement measures to protect yourself.
This can be not only a conversation with the "violator", but also a willingness to leave, to end contact. Sometimes a conflict is needed. The main thing is that this conflict should be constructive.
Vera Bokareva, psychologist, sexologist, Ph. D
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