2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The client's interest in psychology is often formed by the absence of a second parent. There was no father, and on this I want to blame the problems and other awkwardness of the current life. My observations and feelings show that it is necessary and important to pay attention to the flow of the energy of love in the contact of the couple and to the relationship to each other in the family system, and not to the very fact of having two parents.
If a child, performing some action that is not perceived by the mother as correct, hears: "All in the father", "You are like your father", most likely this does not give any information about the child, but highlights the nature of the relationship in the couple. It is in this way that the child learns the part of himself that belongs to his father in himself not to accept, to be ashamed of it, to reject it.
Most likely, this particular person will turn out to be a client of the therapist in the future. And he will restore his wholeness, which was not initially accepted in him, which he does not know, does not feel.
Such a person is likely to have problems in building relationships, accompanied by a premature exit from contact at the very moment when the partner is as close to him as possible, which he hid and avoided in himself all his life.
It is easier and safer to remain in the shadow of your own self and alone, so as not to face again the condemnation of that part of yourself that, as it seems at that moment, even in childhood, the mother did not accept.
Or such a person can get into a dependent relationship, where someone else will be able to endow him with an image of himself: "You are beautiful, smart, you are interesting and cool." relationship problems, curl up into a ball. When someone has endowed it, it’s easiest for him to take back all his laurels with him, but "I have a completely different opinion of myself."
Working with a therapist is about restoring a lost self-image. This is a work that allows you not to group up every time in anticipation of a hit in contact. But it teaches us to maintain the boundaries of the other and keep our own, based on knowledge about oneself. Such work with a psychologist, initially brought up as a problem with the opposite sex, changes life and the approach to relationships in general.
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