Kickback And Other Post-breakup Strategies

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The most correct behavior strategy is to skip past all the “handouts” from the partner who dumped you - not to respond or react to his appearance. "Submission" looks like a small friendly gesture in your direction: call, SMS, like, comment under your photo or notes, greetings and other romantic nonsense. The abandoned partner, as is often the case, swallows the "handout" like a boa constrictor.

Kickback mechanism

The return blow develops according to the same pattern. And it often turns into a “come back” (comeback) of the partner, and this comeback also develops in the same way.

The return blow in 100% of cases begins when the abandoned partner intuitively tries to block the energy exchange channel after the more or less environmentally friendly release of the leading partner. If the follower let the person go calmly, without being very humiliated, without insults and threats, without a strong brain drain, then often the leading partner feels guilty that he initiated the break.

The pressure of the romantic egregor leads to the fact that the significance of the follower in the eyes of the departed increases. At the same time, he very well remembers himself when he was kicked, and understands the state of the follower.

The lead partner's feelings are pity, compassion, guilt, and a severe lack of energy. Energy flows have not yet recovered to the level they were before the relationship.

Therefore, the simple path that the departed partner chooses is to throw a “handout” to the abandoned partner. Especially if he is behind and is silent.

The “handout” has two reasons for the departed partner:

The “feed” is a kind of “bonus” from the romantic egregor, and this “bonus” brings the conductor - the departed partner.

In real life, it looks like a small friendly gesture in your direction: call, SMS, like, comment under your photo or notes, greetings and other romantic nonsense.

The ex presents "handouts" in the belief that you are dying without him, and wants to support your collapsed self-esteem a little, because he himself remembers what it was like in the same situation. “Giving” here is akin to energy alms, but has a clear purpose - to get some more energy from you.

The abandoned partner, as I have already said, has an unmanifested Ego, and perceives the “handout” as that the person has left and now regrets, repents, dreams of returning, but does not know how to do this in order to save his face and not receive a hard rebuff … That he, thus, hesitantly and timidly asks back.

The non-manifestation of the ego plays a cruel joke with its “master”, and if the latter does not understand what happened the first time, then the next stage of the restoring blow begins.

Once again, if one person did not understand from the first time that he was not needed by another person, that is why he was abandoned, then there is only one way out for the ego of the second - to cunningly turn the story with the return of the former partner so that he abandoned the person again, but already more cruel and cynical.

The next stage of the "return blow".

The abandoned partner, as is often the case, swallows the "handout" like a boa constrictor.

Then the leading partner has two options for the further development of the relationship: either disappear, grabbing at last some of your energy, or transfer you to a friend zone with elements of sex.

If your energy is so sticky, stifling and all-encompassing, if after a trial "handout" you actively took up the "restoration of relations", then it looks so unattractive from the outside that the returning partner considers it good to disappear completely from your horizon.

Here you yourself help him to remove the hooks to which he was still holding on: no longer pity and compassion for you, no remnants of respect for you, no sentimentality and melancholy - nothing remains. The person is afraid that the story that got him will start anew, and prefers to leave you to deal with self-esteem on your own, claiming that he “did everything he could”.

The second strategy is for the returning partner to transfer you to the friend zone. Here is what plays a role. At the time of the beginning of the relationship, he saw in you an interesting potential for him, and if you are not quite sticky, do not aggressive, and cannot stand the brain, then the leading partner wants to “show” this potential at least somehow. And let there be friendship, since love did not work out.

Naturally, the leading partner wants to “show” his potential not out of philanthropy, but hoping to get the “bonuses” he needs from this manifestation.

And, of course, “forgets” to tell the driven partner about it.

The friend zone is beneficial only to the leading partner, but not to a person with an unmanifest Ego. For such a person, “friendship” with someone who has refused intimacy with him and his love is such a humiliating, pitiful and energy-consuming position that it is difficult to imagine an even worse one.

But the followers prefer not to see this and not to know. For every “handout” from the returning partner, they see something of their own. Instead of taking off the "romance", they fall into it even more. They are not even told, they are frankly shown that their significance for a partner is close to zero, and the partner is with them only to obtain their own benefits, but they manage to turn all motives of behavior and actions, all words and actions by 180 degrees. Come up with what they want to see for the lead partner.

The leading partner sees how energetically sticky the follower is, how low he has fallen in the relationship, how much he allows him to wipe his feet on himself, but continues to be in them in the hope that he will be the impetus that will help the follower ego to manifest. Then he will relieve himself of the burden of guilt and earn “plus in karma”.

Followers perceive this as the fact that they are kept in a relationship, regret that there was a breakup, and hope for a bright future.

It is often at this stage that the partners have sexual intercourse again. The slave gets out of his skin to show, but that he is capable, since he wants to keep the leader with sex. The sex leader takes compensation for the energetically strained relationship.

The more “handouts” the follower takes, the angrier and cynical the leader becomes. He sees that a person does not understand any hints, he has no self-respect for himself, which means that he needs to act even more rudely. Otherwise, he will finally turn into insignificance. And this, again, is not needed by anyone. Neither this nor that side.

Therefore, the main thing for this stage is to be silent, not to respond to “handouts”, to ignore all attempts to bring the departed partner closer together.

Stage "Come back".

If the follower did everything right at the first stage, then the actual “Come back” begins.

The departed partner sees that you are not going to take “handouts”, and your importance in his eyes increases. Friendship and support do not suit you, you do not need anything from him, you yourself cope without him.

Let me remind you that for such a state you need to honestly disidentify with your partner. If you disassociate with the thought of a comeback, then I have to disappoint you. There will be no comeback.

So, the departed partner feels the overlap of the energy source, the falling off of the feeling of stickiness and, in a purely human way, “freaks out” from the “disgrace” that is happening. Everything is not going according to his plan. You don't rip the last hair on your ass, crawl, chase him, humiliate him, or try to get him back.

The leading partner's respect for you is slowly beginning to recover, interest also appears, he is intrigued, and this is his hook, and he voluntarily put it on himself.

The presenter's fear of your stickiness disappears, you finally let go of his throat and now he can breathe. He is interested in how you could do this, he wants to really be friends with you, to explain his past actions. Calls and letters begin.“I think about you”, “I miss our happy days” and other romance.

By and large, these explanations are nothing new. I’m sorry that it happened, but I don’t regret that I left. I think about you, but I don't want to go back. I am ready to be friends, but without a future.

And this is again a "handout".

But of a "higher" level. The follower often makes a major mistake and agrees to communicate. It seems to him that if he does not answer, he will completely lose the chance to restore relations. He again does not understand that he is being offered “friendship”, albeit more harmonious than at the stage of “returning blow”.

Friendship is evil here. Even if it seems that friendship is better than nothing. It only seems to be. It seems until the communication becomes more dense. Illusions will blow away like a balloon.

At first, the presenter will be glad that he was able to restore the “status quo”, and at first he will communicate a lot and with pleasure. The pleasure will be akin to when a cat gets itself forbidden food and, satisfied, well-fed, falls to sleep in a warm place. Why not purr?

So the presenter will hum a little for the first time. But as soon as you need his warmth and participation, he will start to distance himself and run away again. And the fact that you will need is undoubtedly. Because you put hundreds of hooks on yourself, while the contented host tells you about the “friendship” with such a hint that if everything “goes well,” then you can think about continuing the relationship.

And the follower will try his best, giving sex + friendship, in the secret hope that "everything will be fine." And when it will be, only the presenter knows it.

And the whole trick is that the leader knows he will never. But, as usual, “forgets” to tell the follower about it.

And at this stage, with this behavior of the follower, the entire comeback turns into a delayed parting. Since the presenter sees that, in principle, nothing has changed. He is also loved and expected, and he can do whatever he wants.

And again, the most correct thing to do at this stage is not to respond to “handouts”. And do not be afraid that if you don’t answer, then this is already final “That's it! Dot!.

Stage "Proposal".

The most correct strategy of behavior is to skip past all the "handouts", just by an effort of will not to write, not to answer, not to call the departed partner. To be identified.

You can only answer when you are clearly and specifically offered to live together, and it is better to arrange a marriage when they say that they love. Make an offer to renew the relationship in order to create a family. Dignified and straightforward.

If you don’t, be silent. No matter how hard it is, no matter how much you want - keep quiet.

By this you are just saying that “I can do it myself, I don’t need handouts, I don’t want friendship, I don’t need your pity, I don’t need your leaving and coming, thank you, don’t.”

And if you get a direct and specific offer in response to silence, don't rush to say “yes” right away. Don't let your efforts go to waste. Say “yes” right away - it means that you sat and waited, did not take care of your life, remained in limbo. You can feel it.

Well, if you still do not receive an offer, this suggests that you need to finally face the truth and accept that a person does not need you, he is gone, completely and irrevocably.

Fiery asceticism.

There is a great way to get to the Proposal stage. It is called “Fiery asceticism”. The term was not invented by me, Swami Saraswati spoke about it in the book "Kundalini Tantra". There this technique is called Tapasya.

It is an ascetic technique in personal relationships to recognize your true role in these relationships.

What I was talking about. You need to REALLY look at relationships, and your role in them. Take off your rose-colored glasses. Remove romance.

This is done by “burning through emotions”. That is, you need not invent feelings and worries about your partner, but look at ALL of his actions, words, behavior, as if you were an accuser, not a lawyer.

To look at situations not through the eyes of a man in love, each time justifying a partner, but through the eyes of a prosecutor-prosecutor.

This is easier to explain with examples.

Your partner looks at others in your presence. No, this is not a way to make you jealous, it is your little importance to your partner.

Your partner sits on dating sites. No, it’s not just out of boredom, and not “well, what’s wrong, I don’t sleep with them.” This is a real search for another, more attractive partner.

Your partner does not introduce you to friends / parents. No, these are not eternally interfering circumstances, not mother's illnesses. This is his real unwillingness to introduce you to significant people.

Your partner doesn't compliment or call even though you asked. No, this is not forgetfulness, but again, the small importance of you in his life.

I think the mechanism is clear.

As soon as the follower begins to view the relationship from this angle, applying fiery asceticism, a "miracle" occurs. The Ego is manifested. It is very, very painful for self-esteem, but very beneficial for a person. Eyes open, and finally the follower begins to SEE the true role of partners in a relationship.

If you do everything honestly, really wanting to stop bullying yourself from both your partner and your own, then it will not take a lot of time when the person will unhook all the hooks that tied him to the presenter.

And only then is a real comeback possible. But that's another story.