How I Went From A Psychologist To A Secret Agent

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

A sign with the inscription "Head of the UTKPGK FR GM" staggered, slapped on the door and floated into the depths of the office. The door opened - and the psychologist Alina stepped into it. The right hand warmed the phone in the pocket of the woolen jacket with the dictaphone turned on just in case, and the cold left hand held the statement.

Alina waged a cold war with the head of the office, in which she rented an office for two months. And on this office it was high time to replace the sign "Psychologist" with "Refrigerator No. 666". And if you had not to solve your problem, but to freeze it, the psychologist would hospitably point you to a chair.

The boss did not consider it necessary to start the boiler room in order to heat the room. November was already splashing snow on bald trees and crunching with frost. And Alina went to clarify, ask, pay attention, accentuate, ask, tell, and then demand. The chief's sleek gray-haired head smiled at her with ceramic teeth, humming:

- Everything will be okay-pochiiinim-but we will warm you up. A couple of days, my soul, a week - the maximum, - the head of the gullible psychologist escorted him out, nudging him in the back with a hot palm.

A third jacket hung on Alina's shoulders, and her slender legs were dressed in "grandmother's" tights. She didn’t leave the house without a throat spray. Alina's phone increasingly received messages:

“I have an appointment with you for tomorrow. But I won't come. It's very cold here. Let's continue when they are flooded …”.

Faith in a warm future shattered after Alina went down to the basement to the cold heart of the boiler room. A man, wrapped in a pea jacket and oversized felt boots, was surprised through the cloud of cigarette smoke that stood out from him, as if from a dragon:

- Young lady, what do you want? Also on the heels of such a chill … I came.

- Hello. I wanted to find out. The boss says you have a breakdown here. For a long time all this somehow. The heating season started a month and a half ago. There is no longer any strength to freeze. I pay money for heating, but I don't get the service. When will it be flooded?

The dragon smiled sadly with the right side of his face.

- HM! Breaking. There is no breakage here. And there was not. Everything is fine. Thrifty is our boss. Clear?

Much clearer.

- Thanks. For information, - Alina tugged at the floor of the sweater No. 3 and, stumbling over the holes in the concrete, went out.

The warm air of the boss's possessions, saturated with arrogance and the smell of leather furniture, angered even more. Without waiting for her sleek head to rise above the computer, Alina began to hammer the prepared phrases like nails into the parquet:

- I'm breaking the contract with you. Ahead of schedule. I consulted with a lawyer and demand a refund for paid heating, which was not provided to me. Any verification will prove. Here is the statement. Sign up. Please.

- Yes please! No problem! - the boss spun abruptly in his chair and tore the statement from the psychologist's cold hand.

He scribbled his signature noisily and buried his eyes on the monitor again.

- Best wishes! And a sultry winter for you! - Alina dripped acid and slammed the door, unbuttoning the top button of sweater No. 1.

It became hot. "There was no conflict," Alina exhaled in her unloved office. She will again have to dive into the murky world of rent. The first attack was choked … But it was not in her nature to regret what ended or did not happen. "So - not my place."

Between receiving clients, writing articles, studying in graduate school, stomping at the stove, cleaning, doing homework with a third-grader, trips to children's workouts and to a math tutor, Alina sometimes went out on the promenade in the evenings with a friend.

- Here our Englishwoman rented an office recently, - her friend Masha moved her hand towards the pink four-story building.

Externally, the building was different from modern office buildings. As if time, running by, embraced him with caring paws and for 50 years did not allow a single person with a bucket of whitewash and a paint brush to admit. And only the crowd of signs over the entrance: "Notary", "Photo studio", "Polygraphy", "Tour firm" shouted about office life inside.

Exactly at 10.00 the next morning, in a strict wine-colored suit and with an identity document, Alina was sitting opposite the mistress of all rented offices - Gertrude Gerberovna Kalach. The room was warm. "Will I really be sitting at work in a blouse tomorrow!" - in the stomach purred.

Gertrude Gerberovna Kalach stood … One minute. I'll tell you a secret - Alina immediately shortened her name to Ge. Ge. And, by God, it will be more convenient for all of us.

… stood with her elbows on the wall and looked at the newly-appeared visitor through her eyes. The tall, thin figure of Ge. Ge. was dressed in whitewashed boots, stretched leggings, a rough knee-length sweater, and a leather short biker jacket. A knitted hat with an embroidered deer and a huge pompom was red on her head. On the face, life experience and sloppy makeup merged into a symphony.

- So, you are a psychologist … I am also interested in psychology, - with the air of a candidate of sciences Ge. Ge. sat down.

- Yes, it is very useful for understanding yourself and life, - supported Ge. Ge.'s interest. Alina with a prepared phrase, with which she responded to such statements. - I would like to rent your office. There is a possibility?

- Ummm … Cabinet, then. How did you know about us? - Ge. Ge. she was in no hurry to give out information and seemed not to be happy with a ready-made client. - Where did you receive it before? Why did you leave?

- How did you know? I just passed by and looked. And earlier - on Tsvetochny prospect. They didn't drown there. Can you imagine?

- Horrible! Oh, we are warm, as in Cairo noon! You see, I even open the window, - Ge perked up. Ge. and smiled for the first time. - You don't look at me like that! With these endless repairs, I can't even dress decently. Now the corridor is on the fourth belim. Everything is so dear, oh, so dear!

- Yes you! Understand. Work clothes, - Alina smiled in response. - So, do you have free offices? - Alina already felt as if she was persuading.

- Nuuu … - Ge. Ge. She stretched out her lips and hid her head in her shoulders, - I have here … But show me your documents. Please,”she suddenly fired, her eyes bulging terribly.

Ge. Ge. finished rustling and stood up abruptly. The pompom swayed listlessly.

- Well, I do not know. Come on, I'll show you the office, - she said almost in a whisper with such an intonation, as if she had just made a deal with her own conscience.

Alina scooped up the papers, grabbed her coat and began to go after the wide-walking boots.

Ge. Ge. unlocked a wooden door with a frosted glass insert. Empty. Purely. It is light. Warmly. Alina, with disbelief, rushed to the battery and pulled her hand. What you need! My.

- You like? Suitable option? - Ge. Ge. looked into the flushed face of the psychologist.

- Yes. I take it, - Alina held back her joy, stepping on her with the heel of practicality. This was necessary so that the hostess, sensing the client's squeaking desire, did not raise the price.

- Why this particular office? - Ge. Ge. stuck her hands in the sharp sides.

Alina looked up the walls in confusion:

- So you yourself … and … cook others …

- Oh, that's me! The very same! Completely earned, - Ge. Ge. backed away to the exit.

For another minute, Alina stood as if blown into the glass, and then she began to plan the move.

Contract - payment - furniture - movers - loading - unloading galloped in a few hours. And in the evening, the psychologist Alina was already conjuring with a broom in her new refuge.

The usual work life got stuck. A young man in jeans and a sweater is crying:

- I seem to fall asleep … every time … when she asks me about it … And then … Rrraz! Flash! He threw up his hand sharply, stamping his foot.

Alina shuddered. A side gaze caught on something red that flickered behind the frosted glass of the front door. "It seemed."

- She knows how to turn everything out so that … - continued the client, closing his eyes.

Alina could not help but look at the door. The red stuck to the glass and … the ear was drawn in the same place. Ear. Hat? Ge. Ge.? Eavesdropping ?! Delirium of some sort … My heart pounded in my throat. The client's words hummed like a closed machine window. And all of Alina's attention fell to the floor, like beads from a broken thread.

There must have been some explanation for this. Must, must! On the way home, Alina frantically searched for him: “Perhaps Ge. Ge. confused something. Or. She needed to talk to me about the documents, and she waited outside the door until I finished. Yes, but the ear ….

It took two days. During one of the evening consultations, the hat raided the shrine, disrupting the client's comfort and the psychologist's stability. She knocked twice on the door with her knuckles, and, without waiting for an answer, burst into the office:

- Hello, I'm sorry. Alina Viktorovna, can you … - Ge. Ge. Smiling stupidly, she brushed the client with a glance and fluently measured the office around the perimeter and back, looking for something.

- Vitalievna, - corrected Alina Vitalievna, pushing the raider with her hip into the corridor. - I am working and cannot be distracted during a session with a client! This is out of the question! And I warned you about the specifics of my work! - Alina yelled in a whisper at the deer on the hat.

- Oh, sorry, oh, - Ge. Ge. I was afraid of some non-urgent contract that had to be signed, jumped up and tried to see something else through the frosted glass of the office.

Alina began to close from the inside.

Then something strange happened. Ge. Ge. more than once she caught Alina in long corridors, emerging from the darkness. She grabbed her hands with wet fingers and whispered with chapped lips, looking around: “Go away? Will you come back again? "," How many clients do you have today? Tomorrow? "," What do you do when you are not at work? " Four times Ge. Ge. brought her a treaty in which points were straightened out, striving by their legitimacy to the level of holiness. An ear glued to the glass that looks like a smeared gum has become a familiar accessory.

Clearly, the hat is following a psychologist.

Alina decided to talk.

An opportunity to talk came up in the morning, together with Ge. Ge., Who slipped into the office. In two jumps she was near the sofa, with the dexterity of a squirrel she threw back the sash, dived inward up to her waist, and began to fumble with her hand. Alinin's voice clanged:

- What are you doing!

Ge. Ge. slammed the sash and flopped into the chair.

- Alinochka Viktorovna, - she whined.

- Vitalievna.

- Vitalievna. Forgive me, but I have to ask you, otherwise I’ll go crazy …”She stretched her legs and slowly took off her hat, revealing her thin hair. The eyes zigzags along the wall. - Do you have a camera or bugs here?

Alina was surprised that she was not surprised: “Shezophrenia? Persecution mania? Obsessive compulsion? Looks like this woman needs help. Or maybe he is already accepting something."

- I have no recording devices. My clients wouldn't like that. I work honestly. Gertrude Gerberovna! You are asking strange questions. And I notice that you are very tense towards me, - Alina took air in her lungs and tuned in for a long sincere conversation …

Ge. Ge. tucked her legs, pulled on her hat and rattled:

- I can't tell you anything. For now!

Jumped up, disappeared.

If this continues, you will have to look for an office.

For a week the pom-pom did not appear in the corridors. The ear was missing, as if the cleaning lady had scraped it off during the general cleaning. Alina did not relax.

Going through the mail, Ge. Ge. finished her second coffee. "Electricity", "Tax", "Construction Fund", "Kalach G. G. Agenda in …". Court! Coffee grounds blurted out on the leggings. She jumped up and began gutting the envelope with shaking hands.

Before Ge's eyes. Ge. tangles of wires, a mountain of boxes, computers swept through, everything blinked around the clock, like at a military airfield. And two guys who had more tattoos than clothes. When they rented an office in which the psychologist Alina now lived, they indicated their type of activity indistinctly. The tattooed people worked in silence, slipped into the office unnoticed, did not greet their neighbors. And they were scammers, but it was not immediately revealed.

Ge. Ge. ran around the office. I remembered my sin - a fraud with illiquid building materials. The long worn-out business loomed again like a pimple on the nose.

When the scammers were getting ready to move out, they did not pay the rent for 2 months. Ge. Ge threatened them with a contract. And they, in an unintelligent form, blackmailed her with a sin. Where did they find out only! The scammers quietly left, leaving the woman alone with her fears. They threatened to return. Ge. Ge was afraid of everything and everyone, she began to live with an eye on her.

And here - a psychologist. “What if she’s an agent sent by scammers. We need to find out."

Ge. Ge. finished reading the agenda and shrieked to her husband on the phone: “Yurik, Yura! They got caught! I am being summoned to the court as a witness! Caught them!"

Leaving the courtroom, Ge. Ge. glowed. "Yur, they were imprisoned."

Alina was unbuttoning her coat on the way, when she sounded behind her:

- Aliinochka! Vitalievna!

A woman who could only be recognized by her voice was moving smoothly towards Alina. The long skirt fluttered around her slender legs on thin heels. A snow-white fur vest accentuated the waist and framed a smiling face. Pebbles glittered in familiar ears. Where is the hat? Curled curls bounced in a perfect bow tie.

Ge. Ge. put her arm around Alina's shoulders. It smelled expensive.

- My dear, what a clever girl you are! I've heard good reviews about you. I am pleased with our cooperation, - she approached Alina's amazed face and spoke a half tone lower, - in two weeks, the IT guys are vacating my office on the second floor. He is much better than yours. The price is the same. Come in, I'll show you. And so just come in, we'll chat about psychology, we'll have some tea. Have a nice day.

Alina dropped the keys after the fleeing fairy.

"Probably treated."

Alina Adler / psychologist - psychotherapist /