WHAT FILLS YOUR EXISTENCE WITH LIFE?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The answer to this question is not easy, and the respondents, after thinking it over, begin to enumerate: life values, creativity, support, self-realization, relationships, dreams, achievements … But something is missing from these wonderful lists. Something very simple, earthly. The question is not in vain formulated not "what fills your life with meaning", but "what fills your existence with life." We are talking about vitality - the general energy of the body, the absence of which is so strongly felt in depressed patients.

I remember how observers described the manifestation of vitality in animals.

“I saw a young elk rushing across a snow-covered field, jumping up, twisting all over on the fly, stopping to catch its breath, and then starting all over again. We also saw bison, which, having played out, jumped out onto the ice and glided over it with a satisfied hum …"

“The panda gushed with happiness. Bouncing happily, she quickly climbed the slope, pushing bamboo stalks along the way, and then turned around and rolled head over heels down, like a cheery black and white ball. I ran back - and rolled again …"

“I saw a young mountain gorilla climb high on a vine to retrieve a pumpkin-like fruit. Here's what I wrote about it: “She plays with the fruit, throws it back and forth, catches it with her hands, then catches the stalk with her teeth, so that the fruit hangs out of her mouth, gets up on two legs and starts tumbling. Then he gets up, still clutching the ponytail in his mouth, and pounds on the fruit with both hands, making loud dull sounds from it. The next day, the gorilla again comes to the same liana with the clear intention of getting himself another wonderful toy."

No special values, communication, self-realization. Simple animal joy from very simple things, from the contact of the body with these things … And I understand what is sometimes lacking in the answers … Filling with life is impossible outside the body. Beyond our simple senses. Feeling our own existence is one of the main tasks of our consciousness.

I breathe life. The scent of autumn leaves. The smell of a new book just bought, and this smell promises me new impressions from the book. The smell of summer dust, nailed to the ground by rain. Air that smells like ozone after a thunderstorm or in frost. The smell of coffee in the kitchen on a dull chilly autumn day. The smell of a bunch of apples piled in the room. The damp smell of the basement. The smell of PVA glue. The smell of the perfume of a girl who passed by. Salty sea wind. The smell of a fire, burning resinous wood. Freshly baked bread … The smell of damp earth. New markers in childhood …

I feel life. Cellophane bubbles bursting under pressure of fingers. The hard gums of my little daughter who tickle my nose or finger with them. Hot sand on the beach, warming up a cold foot. Sun-warmed stones on my face. A soft female body that can be squeezed and feel the tenderness and firmness of the body. The cat is flexible. Warm blanket in a cool room after a shower. And a warm shower itself in the fall, when there is no heating in the house. Touching foliage and grass with your palm. Wind in your hair. Daughter's tiny palm, covering the index finger. Bicycle pedals spinning underfoot. Plasticine in hands.

I hear life. Sounds of a very quiet, gentle surf in an almost complete calm. The crunch of snow underfoot. The singing of a daughter or wife, coming from the next room, when you go about your business and understand that this singing is just like that. The sound of leaves in a gust of wind, soothing and reminiscent of eternity. The drone of an airplane somewhere far away in the sky. Wheel clatter on the train. The chirping of sparrows in the foliage. Waiting out of nowhere "cuckoo" in a quiet forest. A favorite song that sounds where you never expected to hear it. The crackling fire and the gurgling of water in the pot over the fire. The roar of an approaching thunderstorm. The rustle of the unfolded gift wrapping. The noise of cars driving on wet roads. The voice of the dispatcher at the airport announcing the boarding of your flight.

I see life. Delicate yellow-green leaves on the wet asphalt. Rainbow after a stormy storm. A beautiful girl who met my gaze and smiled. Water drops on roses and leaves, on the tent awning. Shining stars and the Milky Way in the night sky. Shiny sparks of ice on a frosty sunny day. Deep autumn sky and transparent light scattered in a haze. Bright red coat among gray and black silhouettes. Dusk in the shadow of thunderclouds. Green, freshly blossomed leaves, illuminated by rays. Bright orange mushrooms on a brown tree. Christmas toys in a box. Lights of the night city.

I taste life. The taste of matches. Sweet peach with delicate flesh. Needles and resin … Pine nuts … Rainwater. Rosehip brewed in a camping pot. The last remaining candy on a long hike. Ice icicle. Metal grate in the cold … The taste of a simple pencil …

All these and many other similar simple sensations are the basis, the basis of my life. If I suddenly somehow lose my taste for them, lose the opportunity, like those animals, to celebrate life - everything that is "built on" over them will lose its meaning. Therefore, I definitely find time to slow down for a couple of seconds in my life's run, and see-hear-try-feel-breathe life. Without this you will not be filled …

What makes you live?