2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Imagine you come home upset or saddened, and tell someone close to you about your inner experiences. And in response, you hear that you yourself are to blame for the situation. You have a complex character, you do not know how to communicate with people, you do not know how to enjoy life, do not appreciate what you have, etc.
How do you feel about it?
I guess it's not very happy.
Most often, in such situations, we are either criticized, or found a way to depreciate, or give unsolicited advice. With the latter, it is quite a disaster. The “agree and do it your way” method is not entirely appropriate, as the counselor will be very upset and will express it.
Example: Dad gave advice to his daughter on how to behave with a teacher at the university. The advice did not suit her, since the character of the girl is different from her father's. She has other ways of solving different life situations. The father does not like that his daughter did not follow his advice. On the one hand, he wants her to be independent, and on the other, he subconsciously requires her to fulfill his recommendations. Therefore, the girl often hears this kind of phrase. "You never get what you want." "You will not be respected in the future at work." "People like you are not appreciated, but used to plow."
Of course, the father says this with the best intentions. His goal is his daughter's success. He is angry, which is expressed in the form of criticism. After all, his advice can help his daughter! He does not understand that she does not have the same abilities as he does. Using his instructions, she becomes weaker than when she acts as best she can. This does not mean that she copes worse, she just has different methods. In this situation, the father may be completely unaware of his aggressiveness and irritation, and the daughter feels even more depressed than when she came home.
At first glance, the situation is as easy as shelling pears. The father needs to accept his child for who he is, and consider her strengths, inquire how it is easier for her to cope with such cases. However, in reality, when we say that we accept a person as he is, first of all we are deceiving ourselves. When we accept, criticism and anger in counseling situations disappear.
Consciously we understand that a person is like that, but our subconscious wants to correct him. It makes us very angry when we help, but they don't listen to us. But is the other person to blame for this? He cannot do as we say. There is no such thing in his “human settings”. And we do not have what is in it. And this is great, because we have to complement each other. It is this difference that leads everyone to success.
Our main mistake is that we give unsolicited advice and demand their unquestioning implementation. It seems to us that we want good for our loved ones. But this good turns into evil for them. We are not trying for them. We are trying for ourselves. It's easier for us for them to follow the advice. It is difficult for us to learn to support our loved ones, as they need it. Criticism is the easiest to use. It is very difficult not to give your advice and just say "I am with you, I believe in you, I know that you will find a way to cope with the situation."
Learning to accept.
Recommended:
Walk On Nails Or What Kind Of Support Can Support
Thinking about our life, few of us can boast of a perfectly smooth road. There are simply troubles and failures, there are serious failures, but there are also such breaks in fate, when life is divided into "before" and "
About Lack Of Support And How I Learned To Support
Once I was walking along the street. And I observed this situation. A boy of about 9 with his mother is walking. And at some point, the boy slipped and fell on his knee on the concrete curb. I imagined how painful it could be to the knee if you fall on a hard surface.
Support In Life: Where To Find Support?
Every person needs support in life, but not everyone will receive or give it. A case from the author's life when support was so necessary … - How can I help you?.. - Just hold me.. Support you can't live without When I was 12 years old, my brother and I climbed to the very top of the rock that formed on the site of an old quarry.
How To Support Your Child In A Stressful Situation And Help Them Gain Rewarding Experiences
Parents, with all their might, cannot protect their children from all the stresses that life presents. But in their power to carry out a quick "disinfection" of children's emotional wounds and promote their early healing. And it is also within the competence of moms and dads to teach children to learn valuable experience from unpleasant situations.
How To Support Yourself In A Difficult Situation? Simple And Effective Ways Of Self-support
The day was not easy - everyday issues, then work, then again everyday issues and a little more work. I had a hearty dinner, turned on the garland (for some reason they always had a calming effect on me), put on The Doors (they usually have about the same effect), hugged the soft blanket tightly, inhaled deeply and exhaled.
