2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Parents, with all their might, cannot protect their children from all the stresses that life presents. But in their power to carry out a quick "disinfection" of children's emotional wounds and promote their early healing. And it is also within the competence of moms and dads to teach children to learn valuable experience from unpleasant situations. Psychologist Lyudmila Ovsyanik told the portal interfax.by what is needed for this.
Help your child live and express negative feelings. Instead of "Don't cry!", "Don't shout!", "Calm down!", "Don't worry!", "Above your nose!" name his feeling (“you are upset / hurt / angry / afraid …”) and let him know that this experience is completely natural and normal (for example, “anyone in your place would feel the same way”). If your child is choked with tears, letting him cry will reduce the concentration of stress hormones in the body. Crying is prolonged and does not bring relief - offer to drink a glass of water in small sips or breathe slowly, lengthening the exhalation and the pause after it. Demonstrate to the kid the ways of expressing anger: stomp your feet together, wave your fists, growl, grimace in front of the mirror. If a child shivers after experiencing stress, do not rush to calm it down - let his body release excess tension.
Silent hugs. While the child is overwhelmed with strong emotions, do not try to enter into a dialogue with him - silently hug him. You can swing it to the beat of your breath, stroke it, hum something without words. If you are frightened or upset yourself, make sure your in and out breaths are deep and smooth. The faster you regulate your breathing, the faster the baby will calm down.
Debriefing "without criticism and teachings. After the emotional passions have subsided, it's time to figure out what happened and for what reason. If the child is small, voice him your version of the incident, focusing on the facts: "You ran … slipped … fell … hit … you were in pain." If he is fluent in speech, encourage him to self-narrate, from 5-6 years old - to analyze the situation. Bite your tongue if phrases like "Itself (a) is to blame (a)!", "And I warned (a)!" Instead of criticizing and judging, be an attentive and compassionate listener. Do not point out to your child about his mistakes and possible solutions to the problem, until he makes assumptions himself. With this approach, the child learns self-control and responsibility for his actions or inaction, which means that over time he will be able to draw useful experience from any incident.
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