Finding Support Inside. Focusing On Feelings Is An Effective Method Of Dealing With Experiences

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Finding support inside, you find that it turns out that this state was always available to you through a sensation in the body, which you can trust. This sensation is permeated with the ability to feel life and bring you into harmony with your nature. Nature, in which you find a place and the right to be yourself, in which you move away from the conventions that you have set in your imagination, perception and beliefs about yourself. You get away from the frustrations of these conventions.

Purpose of the article - to bring us closer to understanding our nature, and possibly help to feel what gives us a solid support in life during crises and what serves as an internal navigator for us, which accurately indicates the correctness of our decisions. This is an article about inner integrity, body and mind health. These two processes are inextricably linked with each other.

We feel the manifestations of the psyche through the processes that occur in the body and are reflected in it: sensations, feelings, emotions, memory, thoughts, motives, etc.

For a better understanding of the processes described in the article, let's get acquainted with some concepts and their meanings. I will highlight and describe the phenomena that are inherent in us at every moment of time and with which I will operate, these are sensations, feelings and emotions. These are interrelated processes, but we will describe each of them separately.

Under the sensation I mean, sensory experience that reflects what is happening in the external world and inside the body. Feelings are experienced as a complex whole and can be perceived as consisting of many intertwined fibers - emotions, feelings that are manifested in the body.

Feelings - stable emotional experiences of a person arising in the process of his relationship with the outside world. In the same feeling, positive and negative emotions can unite and flow into each other (for example, love is accompanied by anger, and joy, and despair, and jealousy, etc.)

Emotions it is a kind of bearing, which unmistakably makes it clear whether the body is moving towards the result that it has tuned in and was programmed to, or deviates from the result. Through emotion as a signal from the body, we read out a lot of information flows per unit of time about the state of affairs in the body and in the environment with which we are connected. The external environment is relationships with people, processes and events taking place in our life. As a result, we experience a positive “+” or negative “-” emotion at every moment of time.

Now let's directly move on to the question that worries many - how to feel support within yourself, which helps to cope with experiences and go through the difficulties that we face in life? And in general, is it there, this support?

I can answer the second question right away - there is this support, this “sensory sensation” in us, which shows us the exact direction in life.

Let's take a consistent look at what I mean by inner support and "sensory sensations." One of the realizations that a person certainly encounters in the process of psychotherapy is that very often he loves and accepts himself “provided that …”. Instead of ellipsis, you can substitute anything, for example, provided that:

• others will believe in me;
• others will understand;
• I will not be mistaken;
• I will be strong;
• I will not show my weakness;
• I will be more beautiful;
• I will not be denied … and so on ad infinitum.

I will ask you to do one experiment now. At the moment, pay attention to your breathing, listen to the sensations in your body, and refer to yourself through the following phrases:

• I feel good and I am grateful that I am exactly who I am.
• I feel like a happy person.
• I am doing well, and for the past few days I have been feeling good and happy.
• I feel in my place.
• I feel fulfilled.

Listen to the sensations in yourself and how and where these sensations are felt in the body. I ask you to closely monitor what you are feeling. If necessary, take a few minutes for this process to feel more explicit signals in the body and, in general, to feel whether something inside you resists what was said, or agrees with what was said.

• How did you feel?
• Describe how you felt in your body?
• Do you believe what you said?
• Do you feel that what you have said is true for you, if you honestly and from your heart will tune in to your feelings?

Do not worry if you have experienced resistance to what you said or come in contact with not very pleasant sensations. Everything that you have experienced reflects only the current state, and we are doing this experiment not to assess your well-being, and no conclusions should be drawn from this.

You can also experience pleasant feelings and experiences, such as: a feeling of relaxation, fullness, warmth in the body, etc.

The purpose of the experiment is to direct your attention to that sensation in the body, which is woven of feelings and emotions, let's call it “sensory sensation”, and which responds to what you said

During psychosomatics therapy groups, when participants undergo a similar experiment, some of them, listening to their feelings, may experience anxiety, fear, internal discomfort and unpleasant sensations in the body. What the participants experience, I perceive as a kind of protest, call, rebellion of the inner essence, which, through sensations in the body, tries to convey to us specific signal, and restore the integrity inside. It is important that this signal is correctly recognized. It depends on how we recognize, perceive and relate to the “sensory sensation” in the body and how ready to hear ourselves through this sensation, and it depends on whether we will restore integrity inside or whether we will fight against the sensation that has manifested itself.

For clarity and a better understanding of what is described above, we will analyze one of the cases of group work using the example of the participant's feelings and how she perceived them.

Having said phrases to herself (I feel like a happy person; I love myself, etc.) that contribute to the manifestation of "sensory feelings", she experienced anxiety, anxiety and a desire to isolate herself from the experiences associated with referring to herself. As she explained, the feeling of anxiety was caused by the fact that she needed to do something, seek, try and be some kind - in order to feel good.

It is important to understand that through sensations in the body, our inner essence speaks to us. It would seem that the feeling of anxiety rises due to the fact that what was said does not correspond to reality, and the circumstances in which the person is, make him feel bad, and through these phrases we ourselves step on the sore "corn of problems." Quite often, this is how we perceive unpleasant sensations. We find objective reasons why we cannot feel good, giving the right to determine our well-being to ideas and “programs in the mind” about how we should be. We do not want to go deeper into sensation and try to escape from experiences, thereby losing the chance to hear ourselves. We try to accept and love ourselves under the condition - it is the “conditions” that a person sets before him that eventually become factors through the prism of which his well-being is determined. Where is the way out of the situation in which a person finds himself: he does not accept himself and does not love himself. I will immediately indicate that there is definitely no way out in reflections. In order to work with experience, it is important to descend to the level of sensations, and not try to work only from the level of mental attitudes and interpretation of the experience.

“So, how do speculative assumptions and interpretations differ from the direct feeling of the problem, from directly asking it with a question? assumptions lack direct, direct contact

Interpretations hang helplessly in the air without any real support or confirmation; many very different interpretations are proposed, but it is not clear how to choose between them.

To formulate this or that inference, we need to distract ourselves from the disturbing feeling and turn to thoughts about these feelings. On the contrary, in order to raise a question about a specific, directly experienced problem, one should turn to the problem itself and allow it to manifest itself in order to feel it more fully. It is necessary to touch the problem, and then just wait a little while she herself “answers” our questions.

Eugene Gendlin. “Focusing. A new psychotherapeutic method of working with experiences.”

In the case of anxiety and other experiences, it is important to tune in to that “sensory sensation” in the body (part of us) from which this anxiety emanates - we experience anxiety through the body.

For example, a person, listening to the sensation and passing into the experience that he is experiencing, can realize and feel that anxiety has risen due to the fact that his inner essence clearly makes it known that everything is in order with him, and the anxiety itself arose as a signal. who says that he does not perceive himself as a whole, he is lost in his convictions, ideas about himself and is in self-deception because he has set himself the conditions under which he can love himself

The only way out is to tune in to your sensation, to direct attention to it, to be in this sensation, to allow it to fully manifest itself, to become one with it, and then over time the person realizes that through this sensation his integrity speaks to him. The experience becomes his ally, not the enemy from which he flees. This experience paves the way for the very essence of being a human being, where it becomes possible to interact with the world, relying also on one's sensations, and not only on logical and speculative calculations.

Psychological trauma is also worked through through sensory work

Failure in psychotherapy can be of two types: first, when psychotherapy consists only of interpretation ̆ and the intervention of the therapist without a real process of experience ̆ in the client. Failure of the second kind occurs when the patient experiences real and specific emotions, but they are repeated over and over again.

Eugene Gendlin. “Focusing. A new psychotherapeutic method of working with experiences.”

“Sensual sensations” may be “not clear at first”, and sometimes it is difficult to immediately identify and name them, they are not as obvious as strong emotions - anger, anger, fear, aggression or, on the contrary, joy and admiration. But they seem to serve as a portal for a person to his real self and are felt in the body in different ways.

Sometimes - like a lump in the throat, goosebumps, a prickly sensation in the solar plexus area, a feeling of warmth - through these sensations we literally feel how our inner essence responds to the circumstances of life, the words spoken to us, our views and decisions - to everything, what is happening to us.

Paying attention to these sensations, you can find something in us that screams and asks to come out or shrank from fear, these are those subtle “sensory sensations” in the body that become available to us after strong emotions descend. Having tuned in to these sensations, we have the opportunity to perceive what is happening in a completely different way.

Passing behind strong emotions (having lived them) and attuned to the sensations in the body, we can find that behind fear or anger towards other people is the fear of rejection, and behind the feeling of rejection, you can feel that it was preceded by a desire to give your love or gratitude.

Thus, having passed into the very core of the experience, a person realizes, feels his initial impulse, the desire to give and love another. It is from this moment that the perception of the emotions of anger changes. The person begins to experience that original feeling of love, which was suppressed by the fear of being rejected again. And anger turns out to be the strongest impulse emanating from his inner essence, which helps a person to reach through the resulting "callousness - unwillingness to experience the pain of rejection" and pay attention to the desire to love.

Perception changes and human behavior changes. Having recognized the root of fear, a person gains freedom of expression and again has the courage to go into contact with another. This is not a conceptual answer, but an answer at the level of awareness, where the problem itself, fear and anger accompanying it - become not something to fight with, but are indicators of a violation of integrity. The problem becomes not a lock, but a key to life, and leads to contact with it through “sensory sensations” in the body, which reveal the very essence of being a person who interacts with life and with other people, taking into account his feelings.

There are many examples of how a person has a revolution in consciousness and perception of himself. You can write a whole book about this, and the purpose of this article is to reflect the principle of working with experiences and, by sharing your experience, make you feel, remember and realize that similar insights have occurred in your life, but now you have a better understanding of how and why they are. happened. This is the development of awareness and a better understanding of your nature.

I want to finish the article with an entry from my personal diary

“Today was the morning Practice of Silence (PM), which has already become an integral part of life, in which I come to my senses. Always, sitting down in the PM, I find excitement, it is of a different order and tone: there is enthusiasm, there is fear and anxiety - almost never immediately at rest I do not immediately find myself.

The magic of practice is that it is the ability to hear what the body is saying through the senses. Feelings speak … It became a great support for me to restore integrity within myself and remove internal contradictions. Feeling anxious, I peer at where it comes from.

There is always an epicenter of experience in the body, it can be either static or wandering. The body speaks, it is reflected in a kind of integral “sensory sensation”. There are emotions and feelings that I can immediately clearly identify for myself, for example, anger, aggression, joy, and there are more subtle signals that I also feel with my body, and I can’t even say what they are about right away.

This is a holistic sensation, which is, as it were, background, and in order to feel this background, you need to pay attention to it and listen to the sensations. Often, listening more attentively, I feel that inside, as if a part of me is ringing, curling up, or beating out - in fact, this part of me, this is a kind of sensation that seeks to be heard. This is often a mixed feeling …

But it is very important to listen further and accept those signals that come from the body and feel like some kind of energy bursts in the body - goosebumps, tingling, burning, heat, load, pressure. In practice, it is already becoming obvious that almost all signals of anxiety, fear, depression, frustration are a consequence of internal "splitting" that occurs as a result of ignoring one's feelings for a certain period of time. Sometimes it's years, sometimes minutes.

What do I mean by "splitting"? Metaphorically, it is a part of me or something in me that obviously knows what is true and true in life. This is something that wants to come out, but is clogged with control and fear, which is often supported by rationales and concepts.

All of this eventually turns into an invisible prison, outlined by limiting beliefs. Not a single emotion, not a single feeling and sensation arises from scratch,. This is a consequence of interaction with the world, both internal and external … Always feeling contains the key to understanding where I have gone astray, or confirms the correctness of the path and decision.

All painful experiences are a consequence of splitting at the level between "psyche and body". In fact, they are inseparable at the level of processes, all information signals and higher nervous activity occur through the body. So, the body doesn't lie. And the problems start when I don’t believe it and, in fact, don’t listen to the signals it gives.

Raised and trained over the years, the inability to feel leads to the fact that I become contradictory inside and out. "Against - speech" - I am not whole, but I am split in my feelings, thoughts and actions, both in relation to myself and in relation to others. This is how I begin to say what I do not feel or convince myself of what does not exist.

To learn how to restore integrity, I learn to listen to myself every day. How is this expressed and how does it happen? Listening to the sensations, I discover in myself that which was not heard, manifested and was suppressed. This is usually felt at first as anxiety or fear. Tune in to these sensations, I listen to how they respond in the body, and tune in to the subtle signals and sensations of the body, which are ignored in everyday life.

Almost always, the result of such an observation is the discovery of that part of me that was pushed in, ignored, rejected either by myself or by others. And it is she who fonds with pain and anxiety, because the integrity of life is violated (and I am it), because part of the manifestation of life (emotion, experience, desire will manifest itself) was artificially thrown to the sidelines, or locked, or crushed (suppressed).

So what can I do? I can only tune in to that part of me from which this cry emanates … And to be with it, to be attentive to what is life in me, to understand what this feeling is about … is it the feeling that is emitted, am I pouring out of that part of me that is concerned? The signal is heard, the integrity is restored, the separation is gone - I become a listener. myself.

Fragmentation leaves, its place is taken by integrity, but always a return to this integrity comes through the identification of what was ignored, and rebellion or, on the contrary, simply with pain and an inner groan declared itself. There is always someone who hears you my dear "sensory feeling", listening to you, I gain inner integrity and become one with you, gaining support in how you feel life and the right decision through your body. In this I calm down, because the contradictions are removed and we are one. Support inside.