2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
“Maybe you should give birth to a second?
When will we eat a salad at the wedding?
Why can't you buy an apartment in a normal area?
How is it, there are no children in common? Children must be sure, otherwise the man will leave."
Earlier, when someone tried to feed me this traditional vinaigrette, generously seasoned with curiosity, I started to shake. Now I smile like the Kaa boa constrictor and send in plain text.
Everyone has reasons to live the way they live: to give birth or not to give birth, work or study, get married or remain free. Sometimes these reasons are painful and unwanted. Sometimes it's a deliberate choice. In any case, this question concerns only one - at least two. And the presence of a crowd of well-wishers is completely inappropriate here. And it doesn't matter if they are relatives, friends or colleagues. There are areas where unauthorized entry is prohibited. No offense.
And no, this is inherent not only to our compatriots. This is not a concern for your well-being. And not wanting to help you solve a potential problem. This is a sign of bad manners, violation of boundaries, a desire to rise at the expense of others, a desire to brighten up one's own scarcity of life and banal curiosity.
The next time you are asked about your salary, ask how much money they want to give you. When asking about children, ask if they give out their own. When someone tells you to move into a larger apartment, ask when they are ready to hand over the keys. Seriously. If the interested person is not a person close to you, who has the right to know the reasons that prompted you to make this or that decision, let them go through the forest.
For some reason, more often than not, it is the one who does not fit into the generally accepted framework feels uncomfortable, and not the one who tumbles into foreign territory with boots and pokes his nose where he should not. In order not to worry too much about someone else's tactlessness, develop a clear set of rules:
- Determine what and with whom you are ready or not ready to discuss. There are people whom you would be happy to ask for advice in an ambiguous situation. And there are those who, like flies, fly in search of someone else's shit, spreading the infection. Protect your life from unsolicited advice and idle questions. All people are different, and everyone has the right to build their own life without regard to the opinion of outsiders.
- Set your boundaries calmly but decisively - do not lose your composure, but do not allow yourself to be cornered. It is not at all necessary to shoot to stop the intruder. Sometimes it's enough just to put prohibition signs in the right places. Quietly and clearly say that you are not ready to discuss this topic with outsiders. If you correctly build communications the first time, with repeated attempts, only a raised eyebrow will be enough.
- Be ready to argue your position with close relatives - those who really sincerely care about you. It doesn't matter what we are talking about - desired grandchildren or unwanted partners. If the violator of your boundaries is "out of your own", gently explain that you have made an informed decision, and your life is not in danger. Is that what they are worried about?
- Your body is your business. You are under no obligation to give an account of your health, sexual preferences, problems, or success in your personal life. Few people come running home shouting: "Mom, hurray, I lost my virginity!" The same rule applies to other events in your life - no matter how significant they are.
- Realize - within yourself - that you do not owe anything to anyone (unless you resort to the help of this person in solving your problems). If you are firmly convinced that you are not ready to open your soul to this person, do not get fooled by cheap attempts to find out the details of your life. You and only you decide what is acceptable to you and what is not.
- Live your life and let others live. Border rules work both ways. Respect others and do not ask uncomfortable questions if you do not want to find yourself in a similar situation.
- Feel free to send especially arrogant and do not understand simple words on an erotic journey on foot. And don't forget to ask them to share their impressions in detail. You are worried - have you made it, have you lost your way:)
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