Answers To Questions Summer 2021. Part 2

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

QUESTION 7. How to put in place the mother of the narcissist or the friends of the narcissists so that they no longer get caught and respect the borders?

ANSWER: I hasten to please you! They are all in their places! So half the battle is done! The rest is half the battle - you need to understand about your boundaries, where yours end and strangers begin. Analyze - do you respect your boundaries? What about the boundaries of your personality? And your life? Then you need to work through complaints and anger at your mom and friends. Relationships will become easier, and you will feel better. (remember, we cannot change others, but we can change our reaction)

QUESTION 8. How to stop reacting to attacks and criticism addressed to me from my mother. At the same time, she cannot be stopped at all in a conversation and even the presence of my husband does not bother her.

ANSWER: 1. Work with your boundaries and the ability to "no" 2. Work with claims and anger at mom. 3. Work with shame in front of your husband. 4.. To work with your part of the personality, which you do not accept, reject. And her mother "sees" and "bites". Something very important for you is hidden behind the criticism of mom, it needs to be made visible, unpacked. Will help, personal therapy or constellations

In principle, nothing complicated:)

QUESTION 9. How to get rid of the dependence on the person you loved: the crisis is over, but sometimes the thoughts "addicted" come back. In addition, there is a feeling that your heart and perception have hardened after this experience, no one likes it. I do not know whether this state of hardness is good or bad, and whether it will pass.

By the way, I noticed that addiction / comes back in moments of crisis, when, for example, you get very tired physically -> like being busy with another business and very tired, but just at that moment sadness comes. How to deal with this?

ANSWER: You need to get out of emotional codependency through personal therapy. It is simply impossible alone, there are many blind spots. In times of crisis, there is a rollback, and this is normal. You need to improve the skill of consolidating the result so that there are no rollbacks. A state of hardenedness is a coping strategy formed from your trauma (perhaps rejection or otherwise). And yes, we do not fight in any way, but we heal. (What is the point of fighting a part of yourself? There will be no winners anyway)

QUESTION 10. How to raise self-confidence and self-esteem - maybe you have common life hacks?

ANSWER: Finally, to see your achievements, victories and successes. And recognize them. Make them a part of yourself. And not to pretend "that everything is nonsense and everything happened by itself, but I just stood there."

Lifehacks gave in a post on Thursday (July 8)

QUESTION 11. How to stop being afraid that you will be hit and humiliated in society?

ANSWER: Work with this fear, not fight! Get through the fear by finding a solution to it, in personal therapy or parting. In the future, calmness. And in the depths of my soul there is a lot of humiliation, it must be pulled out of oneself, made visible, this is a deep mega shame.

QUESTION 12. How to stop comparing yourself to others? With yourself in the past?

ANSWER: In principle, we always compare ourselves with ourselves in the past and thanks to this we see our movement, development and the path that we have passed.

To stop comparing yourself with others, you need to shift your focus of attention from others to yourself, to your life and your goals, to your own path.