Laziness And Search For Purpose. How To Find Your Favorite Thing?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

How are laziness and the search for purpose related to each other, can they interfere with each other?

Perhaps someone is familiar with similar situations:

- you have a profession, but it does not suit you (you do not feel moral satisfaction from your work, you do not get enough profit, or in general you are not happy with what you do at work);

- you are supported by your spouse;

- you are provided by your parents, but you want self-realization in life;

- there is a job, a profession and a great desire to invest your free time to master a new skill in order to earn money in another area.

To begin with, it is worth understanding the very concept of "laziness". In the understanding of psychologists and psychotherapists, there is no laziness - as soon as the client at the psychotherapy session finds his motivation in life, the lack of desire to work somewhere disappears, and the person actively and successfully moves in the desired field of activity.

As a rule, the issue of laziness is solved by motivation. There are two types of influence on human behavior in order to induce him to do something - motivation "in front" and "behind". In the first case, this is, relatively speaking, a donkey, to which a stick with carrots is tied, and he follows it (movement towards a better future - earn more, allow yourself more, travel, etc.).

Motivation is positive, but usually lacking. Motivation "from behind" implies a desire to say goodbye to a past life and the pain it brings (the more painful discomfort a person experiences, the more likely he will begin to move towards his bright future, otherwise he simply will not move anywhere - only in the rarest cases). We get a paradoxical situation - in order to take a step towards a new profession, you need to increase the existing suffering, that is, what a person is trying to escape from (financial difficulties, envy of friends / former classmates or classmates, pressure from parents and relatives, own pressure on oneself from realizing one's own worthlessness and unfulfilled desires in life, low self-esteem, etc.).

How to do it? You need to maximize the unpleasant feeling by imagining that at the moment you are already 80 years old, and your whole life has been lived under strong psychological pressure from relatives and with the feeling that you were left on the sidelines of life when people you know have achieved the desired results … As a result, motivation will begin to work - first you will feel irritated and angry, then a sharp emotional explosion will occur, as a result of which an indomitable vital energy will arise.

What steps need to be taken? The very first and most important thing is to find yourself, your life's work, your destiny. Here it is worthwhile to clearly understand that there is no purpose from above, no one has assigned professions and areas of activity for you (Vasya will be a programmer, Petya will be a businessman, and Katya will be a housewife). This is solely your decision, your choice and your life!

Each person definitely has a set of certain skills and qualities that he wants to cultivate in himself - something was laid down at the genetic level, something thanks to the upbringing of parents and family. Next, you need to pump these skills or bring those skills that are least developed to mastery. By personal example - I wanted to learn public speaking, so I started a YouTube channel.

So, it is important to realize that the fulfillment of all desires is in the hands of the person himself, and the primary task is to get to know yourself well, find out your true needs and understand what exactly you want to get out of life.

There is a very good brainstorming practice. In fact, answering the same questions, each time a person learns something new about himself bit by bit, and at one point realizes what he really wants to get in life.

Below is a list of questions to help you find yourself. You need to answer them in writing, at least 30 answers.

1. Who am I? (Write everything that comes to mind - all the social roles that you play, the felt inner state. Here you can also indicate everything that you know or have heard about yourself from birth - an egoist, a good girl, you sing well, etc.).

2. What do I love? (It is better to indicate objects and conditions here - good weather, good mood, nice guys, food, etc.).

3. What do I like to do? (It is important to describe all the actions that you do - I like watching movies, chatting, eating, playing, talking on the phone, etc. you still need to specify it). By personal example, I can say that answering this question, I indicated that I love helping people and talking. Over time, the choice of profession became obvious.

4. What do you do best? What can you do without effort? (Perhaps, to answer this question, you will need the help of relatives / friends / acquaintances, because a person can do some actions “automatically” (very easily) and not notice it, but the people around him perceive it in a completely different way. For example: “You literally by a small piece of the story, you already understand the essence of the whole story! "or" You always quickly find the best car at a reduced price! How do you manage it? "Ask your friends this question and ask for feedback.).

5. What am I dreaming about? (Remember absolutely all the dreams that have ever occurred to you, even from the earliest childhood - for example, I dream of becoming an astronaut, surgeon, etc.

The list should consist of at least 10 desires, because you can simultaneously think about completely unrelated desires (to become a football player and have your own publishing house, write a book and become a doctor), in addition, sometimes dreams can take the form of fleeting thoughts (for example, you played football for the only time in your life and you liked it, after the game, the idea flashed in the subconscious that it would be nice to become a football player). Remember that at this stage it is very important to remember even insignificant desires in your opinion - in fact, all these dreams are of great importance to you, as a result of such a brainstorming, you can implement a great idea.).

6. What do I want? (This list is a kind of continuation of the previous one, but more extensive (up to 100 points). In order to raise your inner essence and get in touch with your inner "I", you should allow yourself to write all desires, no matter how childish they sound. more important value points in life that can actually be realized will become clear.)

7. What need do I want to fulfill thanks to my future profession? (For example, increase self-esteem, feel useful in society, make your own contribution to society, feel beautiful and important, bring good to people, understand people better, have your own community and communicate every day, be in a team, pump some skill, etc.).

Think over the answers to all the questions and be sure to write them down, and then the most difficult stage of work on yourself will begin, which no one can do for you - analyze, rewrite, combine the written lists.

Be sure to keep in mind that in the end your desires should not contradict your inner state of mind (for example, a fragile, tender and soft woman cannot work at customs, where there is fierce competition between men, this will definitely contradict her essence). In addition, it is important not to get stuck and try to do one, second, third thing.

So, don't listen to anyone who doesn't believe in you. Look for people who can support, understanding how important it is to find your purpose and yourself in life.

However, there is a category of people for whom it is psychologically difficult to realize themselves in a new sphere, it is difficult to group and strain, especially if they do not know at all how to implement the conceived idea. What to do in such cases? 15 minutes a day is quite enough - watch motivational videos, read articles and books on how to find yourself, accumulate and analyze all the information received and be sure to pay attention to who and what is doing (the best way to search for information is English-language sites). How to get yourself to move? Add this time to your schedule, set an alarm clock, sit down and get busy - you can ask Google a question of interest and analyze every idea that a search engine will give out.