How Much Sex Do You Need? How Long And How Many Times?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

For people who are in long-term relationships (at least a year or more), or, conversely, if partners are just starting to build relationships, the question often arises - what should be the regularity of sex in a couple?

To answer this question, you need to rely on the sexual constitution of the partners.

There are three types in total, in each of which three subtypes are distinguished - weak, medium, strong. Basically, the constitution is 90% based on genetic data, in other words, what is laid down by nature cannot be changed.

How to determine what type of constitution (weak, medium or strong) you have?

Women should pay attention to the date of the first menstruation (the earlier menstruation began, the higher the sexual constitution), during pregnancy (how quickly a woman became pregnant in a relationship - immediately, even with the use of contraception, within a year / 10 years / never) - respectively, the faster a woman becomes pregnant, the higher the sexual constitution; on body hair and its character, on the ratio of height and length of the legs; to orgasm for self-satisfaction and in relationships.

In men, the type of sexual constitution is determined by the age of libido awakening, the age of first ejaculation, the ratio of height and length of the legs, the nature of hair growth, the maximum possible number of ejaculations per day (regardless of how it was - masturbation or intercourse; accordingly, the more, the higher the level of the constitution), the age of entry into the UVR (conditioned physiological rhythm). What does the last parameter mean? At a certain moment in life, a man already clearly understands that his rhythm of sexual relations is, for example, twice a week, and this has been going on for a fairly long time (the earlier he enters the UFR, the lower (weaker) his sexual constitution).

Of course, everyone wants to be with a strong sexual constitution, but here it is important to understand - in fact, it is not so important what your constitution is (strong or weak), it is important to realize that your body is given to you by nature.

A person with a weak sexual constitution, on average, physiologically will want sex once a week or less often (once a month, six months, or completely forget about sex), with an average - two to three times a week, and with a strong one - every day or several times in a day. I want to give an example from personal experience - a sexologist who taught me, talked about a man who wanted sexual relations more than 25 times a day! And this is not at all his whim - he was really uncomfortable if this physiological need was not satisfied exactly at least 25 times.

Alas, physically nothing can be done with such a problem, you can only support the impotence of a man emotionally. Sometimes situations arise when the schedule of sexual relations gets off, that is, the rhythm / frequency of desires changes. When can this happen? When a person is very busy at work and emotionally squeezed out, he may want sexual intimacy much less often (to the point that even having an average sexual constitution, one sexual contact in a few months will be enough for him, especially if there is no permanent partner). In this case, the person's sexuality is “walking” in another area (for example, you can satisfy your sexual needs by baking beautiful cakes or pies in the kitchen, preparing ordinary food, writing articles, songs, or filming videos on YouTube). All this is just energy that becomes physiological and either "goes" into sexuality, or is used by a person in another area of life.

There may also be the opposite situation - an increase in the desire for the number of sexual contacts with a partner. When does this happen? At the beginning of a relationship, partners want to conduct sex marathons almost every weekend (sexual contact 5-10-20 times, until they fall asleep, exhausted from fatigue). This situation is perfectly acceptable and normal. At this stage of the relationship, it is important to understand that at first the cycles of partners may not coincide, that is, they have a different sexual constitution, and this must be taken into account. For example, a couple may consist of partners with a strong and weak constitution, respectively, a partner with a weak constitution will step over himself, trying to satisfy the other (“Okay, I will do it for you!”), And with a strong constitution he will not get what he wants from sexual intercourse. As a result, both people will suffer greatly in the relationship.

In fact, this is a physiological problem, and there is only one way out of this situation - the partners must agree with each other ("You have such a physiology, and mine is like this. Let's decide together what to do"). Sometimes women with a weak sexual constitution, who are in a long marriage with their partner, do not mind at all that their spouse has a mistress. They can talk about it or only hint. If in a couple sex is perceived solely as a physiological satisfaction, this option is a perfectly acceptable way out.

With regard to the duration of sexual intercourse, repeated studies were carried out, and sexologists give the average statistical data - two and a half minutes. Also, American and Canadian scientists conducted a sociological survey (How much time for a sexual act do you consider the norm?). As a result, they found that for most people 1-2 minutes is not enough, 3-7 minutes is normal, 7-15 minutes is a lot, but generally acceptable (if the partners are rested and want to enjoy the process).

Who is most often concerned about the duration of intercourse? Mostly men - in situations where they ejaculate too quickly (much earlier than they really would like). In such cases, the “Stop, start” technique will be very effective. In short, her idea is to pre-train before contact with a partner (feeling a pre-orgasmic state, you need to stop and wait until the arousal subsides a little, but the erection remains, then continue the process, stopping the next wave of arousal if necessary).

The opposite situation also happens, but few people talk about this - a man has a very long sexual intercourse (20-30-40 minutes). Relatively speaking, he simply cannot reach orgasm, and this is due to psycho-emotional difficulties (physical fatigue, new relationships and a feeling of inexplicable anxiety in front of a woman). In this case, it is worth using the practice of sex therapy, when everything happens gradually. Often, such cases occur when a man has not had a partner for a long time, respectively, he is used to masturbating, so he is used to knowing clearly how to influence his penis so that an orgasm occurs (that is, a certain neural network has already formed in the brain sequential actions). Receiving other stimuli from his partner, he needs time to rebuild, get used to and form a new neural network. In women, the situation is similar, and a similar problem may arise with the appearance of a new partner and prolonged independent masturbation - there will be other stimulating factors that will eventually lead to orgasm. At the very least, it takes thirty repetitions to create a solid new neural network. That is why in a new relationship you should never torture yourself, scold and blame yourself, considering it untenable to fulfill your “duty” to your partner, you just need to gradually get used to your partner.

What practices exist for men in sex therapy if they cannot reach orgasm for a long time? First you need to masturbate directly with your partner, then with her hand, then remove your hand, and she masturbates on her own, and only after that - sexual intercourse.

Thus, the man gets used to gradual relaxation with a new partner, helping himself a little with a more familiar stimulus, but adding more stimuli from the woman each time. And you will definitely succeed!