2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The time span from birth to death is called human life. In each age interval, a person has to solve certain tasks necessary for the development of personality. Growing up proceeds through the acceptance of responsibility, if we consider responsibility as the ability of a person to be adequately responsible for the consequences of their actions
At birth, a baby has only one responsibility to himself - to survive and, as a result, the responsibility to be well fed so as not to starve to death. As the child grows, parents give him responsibility for walking in dry pants, moving independently in space, taking up his time with games, etc. Taking responsibility for oneself occurs consistently according to age, and the older a person is, the wider is his circle of responsibility.
But it so happens that the child has to take responsibility not because of his age, and not only for himself, but also for other people. Situations are varied: it happens if one of the parents is absent or drinks, the parents are so busy that there is no time to take care of upbringing, one of the family members is seriously ill for a long time, the responsibility for younger brothers and sisters is entrusted, and much more.
The habit of being responsible for everyone and everything develops. Due to their high responsibility and exactingness towards themselves, such people often achieve a position in society and material well-being, they are valued as employees, as friends, but they cannot achieve happiness in their personal lives.
All childish dislike, understatement, undershoot, defenselessness, suppressed feelings and emotions, lack of timely childish carelessness and irresponsibility unconsciously accumulate for years. In search of happiness, an adult is looking for a life partner who will compensate him for this gap in life. And as soon as a more or less suitable object of “love” appears “on the horizon”, the whole mass of expectations and responsibility for his whole life and personal happiness is immediately imposed on him.
You really want to
- a person has appeared in life who will give a feeling of security, support or support in life, which the father could not provide;
- unconditional love and acceptance, affection and pity, which my mother did not give, appeared in the relationship;
- Someone would somehow take full responsibility for life, make decisions for me and be responsible for the consequences of my actions, which my parents could not provide in childhood.
“And, in general, since I love you, you must make me happy! After all, I do everything to make you happy
My dear readers, I dare to disappoint you. Nobody, ever, in any way, under any circumstances can make you happy. Your happiness is your personal responsibility, and now only you yourself can become your “real father” and “own mother”.
Try to answer your questions:
- What makes me happy?
- How can I personally make myself happy?
- What do I need, what are my needs not being met?
- How can I meet my needs on my own?
And this will be your first step to stop looking for someone as a life partner who will become a way to solve your problems. And a step towards being happy on your own. And when happiness begins, like the sun, to illuminate your life, the ability to create equal, harmonious, happy relationships will appear.
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