2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Relationships are different. Some quickly end and the person does not even attach great importance to this, does not regret anything, does not think. It is easy to let go of such a relationship and the heart does not ache for them, the soul does not experience, and thoughts do not rush at a frantic speed to Him.
But there are others. Those that, it would seem, have long been completed. A lot has been lived and experienced in them, both good and bad. You came back to him more than once. You tried to fix something, change both, or you changed. You tried to bring brightness to these relationships, but they still remained black and white … Or they really had bright flashes and stripes that you think about all the time and which do not let you go. You tried to be friends, but you couldn't. We tried to meet, live together, but again something did not work out. You were drawn to each other, but after a while you were repelled by an invisible force. The attraction that you so clearly felt in the touch, words, in the look was weakening, and in those minutes I wanted to desperately grasp what was left of him. Hope … For renewal, recovery. First of all, yourself, your integrity, which you did not feel without him. But with him everything was different. With him, you were needed, valuable, important. With him, you felt life in all colors. You wanted to be in this for as long as possible. Better yet, forever.
This hope does not let go. It seems to you that you should change, write, call and he will be there. And he sometimes comes, supports you, sometimes looks at you with devoted eyes, and sometimes indifferent, because he already has another … But you still believe that he will return to you. As a friend, as your man. After all, he loved you, was with you. And sometimes it goes away forever. And your heart breaks. From pain, anger, resentment. You feel that everything went with him. Supports, emotions, a part of you along with your wounded heart and rushing soul. Your whole life has gone with him.
Your inner emptiness is filled with Him. You think about him, falling asleep and waking up. When you are in company or alone. When you wash in the shower, eat, pick up the phone or hear a familiar song … It seems to you that this story cannot be forgotten, it has set the teeth on edge. And it seems to you that you should remember this. She must be faithful to the last. Even being in other ways. But the tormenting feeling of guilt that you did something wrong, regret about unfulfilled hopes, resentment towards him, but at the same time forgiveness - you keep all this in your mind.
This leads you to some kind of unbearable excitement and tension, which is difficult for you to cope with. For some reason, you artificially keep yourself in these relationships, which have already become 99% fantasy. All those situations "for two", music, "your" songs, food, all these cute stories fill your life. You deliberately fill yourself with them, because if this does not happen, there will be emptiness. You will turn out to be unnecessary, unreal, not valuable, uninteresting for yourself and others.
Now look at this situation from the other side. All this time, you idealized him, thinking about your relationship as the best and most unique. You, as the most skillful artist, painted them with bright colors, made your stories the most significant events in your life. Where did you yourself faded, became colorless, endowing all this with such bright colors? Do you want to say goodbye to these fantasies and stop thinking about unfulfilled dreams? Do you want to get some other experience - the value of yourself without the presence of another person nearby, interest in your life? Remember, you always have a choice.
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