Personal Boundaries Paired

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Feminine nature is very sensitive, vulnerable and emotional. When a woman falls in love, she often forgets herself and begins to devote almost all of herself to a relationship and a partner. During falling in love, merging occurs when there are no boundaries either for oneself or a partner. The partner's needs and desires become her wants and needs. When the take-give balance is disturbed, when a woman gives more than she receives, energy depletion occurs.

It often happens that a woman begins to experience discomfort in a relationship, but either does not pay attention to it, or keeps silent in the hope that the partner will figure it out. She, as a rule, does not talk about her feelings, pretends that everything is fine and that everything suits her. But in reality, he experiences resentment and discontent, which he keeps inside and it takes a lot of energy. And the longer she endures, the more the level of emotions increases, and, therefore, more energy is needed to hold it. But anger, for example, arises when changes are needed, and if it is not expressed in an environmentally friendly way at the time of its occurrence, then nothing changes, because the partner does not have psychic abilities and is not aware that something is going wrong in the relationship … And one day, she can't stand it and breaks off the relationship, or breaks down. And the partner is sincerely perplexed: “What's wrong? After all, everything was fine."

What to do?

1. Straight Talk

First, it's important to have a calm conversation with your partner. It is important for both man and woman to learn to listen, hear, understand and accept each other. When partners learn to do this, they can move on.

Talking is very important! Indeed, often not only a woman, but also a man is silent about their grievances and discontent, accumulating negative emotions for months and even years.

2. Personal responsibility

A relationship is always two. And each partner contributes to what happens, for which both partners are responsible.

It is very important to understand that personal boundaries end where the partner's boundaries begin.

A woman often destroys her own boundaries, merging too much with a man, building any expectations from a partner. And when he does not justify them, then they feel resentment. And often a woman does not directly declare her insult, expecting that the partner must guess, but indirectly shows emotional stress in the form of detachment, coldness, harsh words or actions.

In a relationship, talking about true feelings and needs will help partners understand each other, accept responsibility for their actions or inactions.

3. Applying new experiences in life

As a result of a frank conversation, after which partners begin to understand each other better, it is important to change communication and behavior in life.

And here it is important to understand for each of the partners what is permissible for them in a relationship and what is not. And convey your desires and needs to the orchestra.

For example, your partner is used to being fed dinner after work. And perhaps he understands that the woman is also tired, but it has always been this way and he is used to it. And the woman, instead of openly saying: "I'm tired today, let's order dinner, or we'll cook something together," she cooks the food alone, lying on her feet from fatigue, and then takes offense at her partner that he did not notice this and did not help …

Here, it is important for both women and men to understand where the boundaries of the couple end, and where the personal boundaries of each begin. The main thing is not only to defend your own boundaries, but also to respect the boundaries of the other, and be able to negotiate.

In the beginning, many people are afraid to change their habitual behavior. But if harmony and mutual understanding are important for the partners, then they learn understanding, mutual respect, and support for each other.

When partners feel their personal boundaries, they feel more comfortable, calmer, and more harmonious in their relationship.