2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Choosing someone or something for our life, we choose FOR OURSELVES first of all.
When we:
We criticize our choice
We reproach our companions
We complain about our work
Blame what we chose (friends, lovers with their way of life, boss at an unloved job)
Unhappy with the conditions in which we live
Etc.
We do all this to ourselves. We criticize, blame not others, but ourselves and the choice we make every day.
We part / divorce not with a person, but with our choice
We are not changing living conditions, but our choice
We do not criticize spouses, but our choice
We are dissatisfied not with the conditions, but with our choice
If we approach life as a choice that we make every day, then we fill our being with awareness, adulthood and wisdom.
Yes, sometimes you have to make a choice not in your own favor, but behind this choice there is some kind of benefit and an agreement with yourself. Sometimes these benefits and accommodations are unconscious. For example, a person cannot refuse others and he is not always comfortable with this. At the same time, he has an internal motive, and most often this is the desire to be valuable, important, necessary for others. Desire for recognition and love. Such an intrinsic motive is much stronger than lucid explanations. And if we do not take care of our subconscious desires, then they can guide how we make our choice.
One way or another, regardless of what controls us from within, the more often we take responsibility for our own life, the more we ask the question “why do I choose this?”, The closer we are to the right choices and a more harmonious life.
Sometimes it's enough to just accept your reasons, your “why did I do it,” even if others criticize them, and psychologists and coaches say “you can't do that,” causing shame.
For example, a person can stay at a certain job for a long time without getting pleasure from it. Upon closer examination, it turns out that such work provides a monthly stable income, the possibility of increasing salary every year, a 13th salary, medical insurance, and a recommended status in the team. It is also necessary to add to this that some people with age want to decide on a job and stay on it until retirement. They no longer have the energy to reach the top and get new experience (or maybe they never had). This explanation is very reasonable and weighty. Therefore, unloved work can be compensated for by hobbies.
If you are good with a choice and its reasons, then be with it. If you criticize him, think about "why", and if this is not influencing society. in this matter, honesty and sincerity with oneself are important. It happens that society so crushes its opinion and imposes it that it is impossible to clearly say “I want it so”. And here, too, a choice arises. Either succumb to public opinion or not. And behind the latter there is also a choice: do I want to explain my position to others, or, despite the recommendations and advice, I prefer what I choose, because I know why I do it.
To summarize, it is not the people who are with us that are bad, not the circumstances in which we find ourselves, our ability to make the most correct choice and understand its reasons does not work well.
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