Freedom Of Choice Or Choice Of Freedom?

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Once I promised to tell you why it seems obvious to me that the themes of "Vedic femininity" were bound to become popular and in demand one day. And what a rational grain there is in them. Since then, I had to live a little as a "Vedic wife", at some external, everyday level

Wear long dresses. Not in order to rake in the energy of mother earth with the hem and direct it directly to the center of female nature (c), but because the manufacturers of pants for pregnant women for some reason did not provide models for women with parameters height = waist circumference + 50 cm.

Prepare delicious food. Not in order to open the way to a man's heart chakra and make him a responsible earner (s), but because my over-demanding body demanded borscht and cutlets. And there has not yet been born such a person who can cook for me the same delicious cutlets and borscht, as I myself. Well, the family, of course, also falls from the bounty.

Be silent and listen. And not because “listening without interrupting” is the way of love for the Vedic wife. And because it was too lazy to interrupt. And then it turned out that if you keep silent the stream of familiar words that cause the usual irritation and objection, a waterfall of real words, fresh and sharp, often scorching like an icy spring, can rush behind it. And these words tell new things about me. About how I am with this person. What is it like for him - with me. How does it feel to me - with him. Mercilessly exposing the truth about why we are still together.

Can you draw a conclusion from my little personal experiment? Can. I have it like this: "Do what you want." Wear skirts or pants, cook yourself or eat in restaurants, be quiet or crackle incessantly. There are no special ways to live right. Especially living next to another person.

"Do what you want" is too easy, right? I envy those for whom this is so. For some, like me, this is not a trivial task. "What you want?" - problem number one. How do I know what I want? If all my childhood I have heard the phrases "you want - you will switch over", "you want a lot - you will get little", "wanting is not harmful" (in the sense, you want it, of course, but you will not get it). And at the same time, I had to want a whole bunch of those things that I did not want at all. I'm confused. And it took many years of adulthood to unravel. The easiest thing to understand is that I want to be alone. Because as soon as another person began to loom on the horizon - an adult or a child, it was much easier for me to forget about my desires, especially if other people's desires were expressed louder or more clearly than mine.

The same problem arises with "do". What, just like that, understood what you want - and do it right away? Can i? What if not? What if it's dangerous? What if I'm wrong that I want it? And if I don't know how, have I never tried it?

So, trying to get out of the confident channel of prescriptions is always a huge anxiety. And the quickest way to deal with this anxiety is to find a new channel. New prescriptions. In this regard, the fashion for "Vedic femininity" or attempts to revive the patriarchy of the way of life is nothing more than an attempt to give an alternative channel.

In my opinion, the 20th and 21st centuries in many countries were marked by the ever-increasing female independence. Women realized themselves as a rather significant force, allowed themselves to fight for their rights, to look for new ways for self-realization. support themselves and each other, unite, receive education, actively participate in scientific, social and political activities. And although it is still difficult to say that women and men have achieved equality, in just a hundred years a whole cultural layer of a planetary scale has shifted. Women emerged from the limited, but rather cozy and often predictable world of family troubles into a raging ocean of events. At the same time, some of the men supported this process. As a rule, the most enlightened representatives are university professors, doctors, and progressive politicians. The majority, however, rather discouraged. Since the infusion of a large number of new members into active social life at once was bound to lead to a change in the previous order. Well, the fears were not in vain. The world has really changed a lot.

Women in this new world have received new prescriptions. Be independent. Be successful. Take charge of your life. Fight for a place in the sun. Compete. Fight.

Great new prescriptions. Yes, only the old ones were not going to be canceled. Firstly, biology somehow has not changed completely for a hundred years, and all the confusion associated with conception, pregnancy, childbirth, feeding and subsequent care for the future of mankind remained with women. So the treacherous nature of most women is latent and meanly whispers "fall in love, surrender, give birth." And the great-grandmother from the photo in the old cardboard album looks intently and sternly: "Did you clean the candlesticks before you lie down to rest?"

And so it happened that instead of freedom and choice, women received double prescriptions. Contradicting each other. And at the same time, they are equally binding. It is quite clear that most women choose one thing in order not to stupidly burst. And, of course, they feel ashamed that they do not "pull" the double role. And our psyche is arranged in such a way that when the measure of shame becomes intolerable, and the shame itself is "toxic", that is, such that it poisons the body and pushes it to self-destruction, the "transfer" of this shame to others can become a defense against this. It is very easy to shame someone else. It is enough to declare that some idea is correct and useful, and everyone who does not adhere to this idea is wrong and useless. Great exit! Feminists will consider all "Vedic wives" wrong and ridicule the patriarchal order. "Vedic wives" with devilish humility lower their eyes down, helping their "Vedic husbands" to blame feminists responsible for the disintegration of the institution of the family and the prevalence of mortality over birth. The most implacable enemies of any idea are the most loyal, but disappointed.

More luck than others those women who in their lives will try to stay in one stream, emerge in another, and then spit on the prescription "you must be the same all your life." They will come ashore. Long hair and long skirt will be wrung out. Or shaking off the water from a short-cropped head and throwing off their jeans. They will sit on a stone and be silent alone. And they will draw a channel in the coastal sand for their own little stream. They will disassemble the prescription sets into Lego bricks. And from different sets they will build something of their own. New, unrepeatable, unique. And since it is unique and such as has not yet been, it is absolutely impossible to say that it is wrong. Or correct. Therefore, it is a little embarrassing, it is still unique - it means that no one has such a thing. But on the other hand, it is not so embarrassing as to consider those who have it different as fools. They can also have a unique one. And even if the bricks are the same, and the sets are also familiar, the result is unique.

Today it turned out more about women. But there is something to say about men. Although, men themselves can tell about themselves. Will they tell?