2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
It's hard for me to start writing this small article about such a big one. It's hard for me to figure out where to start and how to write all this, so that in the end it becomes brighter on the street at night lights illuminating the pharmacy on the corner.
When in therapy it comes to the fact that it is not clear how to make a choice and it is not clear what to want due to the fact that it is not clear who I am and why all this is needed, a picture of Buridan's donkey automatically appears in my head. The donkey is not strangely stately and well-fed, he is standing in a field, in this field they have already harvested. Early morning, late autumn, thick fog, within the donkey's line of sight there are only two haystacks, or better yet, these are two haystacks also in fog, but the donkey is definitely a sign that they are there. Dilemma. Which haystack to go to to ultimately satisfy your hunger. In our eternal case, the donkey never makes a choice and dies of hunger between two absolutely identical haystacks.
As a rule, the client in therapy knows what he wants, he even knows that there are alternatives, but it is very difficult to make a choice. The problem of choice, or rather of one's right and one's freedom to make this very choice, which in the given conditions a priori for a given individual will be exactly what he needs, it is she who excites the mind and introduces strong frustration and anxiety. In his famous book "Escape from Freedom" Fromm described how we are trying to shift the reins of government, and our freedom, onto the shoulders of another person. For Fromm, this was a dictator whom the human soul longs for so that he would tell us what to do.
In psychotherapy, this shifting of responsibility for one's choice for one's freedom is transferred to the psychotherapist.
This process involves two fundamental qualities of a mature, developed personality that we always want to see in ourselves and from which we so dream to get rid of in real life, these are responsibility and freedom. Taking responsibility for your life and for your desires, for your needs and for your sorrows is not available to everyone. This may be due to a number of many, naturally very logical and very pragmatic reasons in the opinion of the client, but still….
People also do not stand on ceremony with their freedom, and here the philosophy of dualism enters into its full rights. On the one hand, we want to be independent and free in everything, on the other hand, we really want to be loved, in demand, next to someone who worships us, and most importantly, in conditions in which we make a minimum of efforts to overcome difficulties in this life. Freedom provides for freedom in solving problems and the freedom to be lonely and freedom in choosing your path to happiness as well.
Responsibility and freedom of choice. Two pillars of our life in the context of the implementation of the plan and meaning of our life.
We are responsible for being free and free in our responsibility. Why, then, in the minds and souls of many clients, there is so much anxiety and doubt about the realization of these two life aspirations? Why do many of us want to be a free citizen in a free country and still try to control everything? Why do so many of us have a lot of demands on others and have no idea about our realities?
It is really difficult to be free in the manifestation of your freedom, and at the same time it is even harder to remain responsible for the consequences of the manifestations of your freedom. We really want to be free in our choice and it is so excruciatingly difficult to be responsible for it.
The point is that no one but us ultimately chooses for us and no one but us will be responsible for what we do. If I want to be happy then who else will do it? Does my partner make me happy ?? I do not think so. If I want to do what I want, then why ask is allowed and seek approval from others?
To return the responsibility of the client to himself and to show that freedom is not only the right to tell someone what we think of him, it is an issue that can be worked out in therapy. Freedom gives us the right to be responsible and responsibility gives us the opportunity to be free.
As the ancient philosopher wrote, "to be free is to be a slave to the law." And compliance with the law is already our responsibility.
Recommended:
POINT OF CHOICE. HOW TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE. TECHNIQUE
The bifurcation point is a concept from the technical vocabulary and denotes bifurcation. Or rather, a short moment before the choice, when the system in an unpredictable way can begin to unfold either in one direction or the other, after which there is no return to the past.
Love Choice: The Crossroads Of Choice Between Two Men
One of the most confusing and excruciating areas of decision making is love choice. Lida found herself at the crossroads of a choice between two men: on the one hand, Leonid was a boyfriend for life, with whom she was in love and with whom she had a child, and on the other, a charming and creative journalist, a passionate young man Pavel.
Freedom Of Choice Or Choice Of Freedom?
Once I promised to tell you why it seems obvious to me that the themes of "Vedic femininity" were bound to become popular and in demand one day. And what a rational grain there is in them. Since then, I had to live a little as a "
About Walls, Freedom Of Choice, And Limiting Beliefs
Once again about why and why you need to work out limiting beliefs. Because when the beliefs are realized (or better - worked out), a person has a choice - to do this or that. Stay in boring office work (because you need to be officially registered
Love Is Born In Freedom And When This Freedom Is Encroached Upon, It Begins To Disappear
In mature relationships, people are independent from each other, they are not jealous, they do not use a partner to satisfy their needs. Love brings them a sense of satisfaction and a sense of harmony in their lives. She has little anxiety and hostility, despite the fact that she can make you worry about another person.
