2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
One of the last stages of experiencing grief and loss (somewhere in the integration stage) is the period when you begin to understand the value of the person who left you, breaking off the relationship. What is important, valuable, necessary, wonderful he brought into your life? Why can't you mentally in your head let him go?
Quite often it seems to us that this cool thing that Vasya, Petya, Sveta gave us, we cannot find anywhere else. In reality, such a belief is an illusion, so it is worthwhile to consciously conduct an analysis within your consciousness (What did this person give you?). Possibly guaranteed safety? If we are talking about a man - conventionally, he "brought home a mammoth"; in relation to a woman - she provided warmth and comfort in the house, gave a feeling of recognition and acceptance, affection. You generally felt like a whole person next to your partner, your communication was filled with interesting conversations, walks, you had common interests, you loved spending time together, etc. valuable that was in your relationship.
Having identified all the positive points, you need to realize that all this can be created with another person. Yes, maybe it will be much more difficult, and in the first case, you were lucky to easily get along with the previous partner. It is worth understanding here - everything and everyone does not happen!
The next step is to take the second sheet of paper and write down what you would like from your future partner (safety, recognition, love, care, interests, etc.). There are 7 billion people in the world, and among them there will certainly be someone who can repeat the "trick" of your ex; someone who will be to your liking, with whom you will feel alive. Analyze the situation without illusions, and when the feelings calm down a little, start looking at the world with an open view of the future. If a year after the breakup you still cannot calm down, you should think about visiting a psychotherapist - there is a chance that you will "catch" the grief and remain in this state for several years, and such situations are not uncommon.
Recommended:
How To Start Living The Life Of Your Dreams: On Values and Priorities
"I am already living the life of my dreams" - once I accidentally heard these magic words. They helped me think and changed my life. What kind of dream life is it? What emotions are you filled with? What are your life values and priorities?
"I Don't Owe Anyone Anything!" How To Stop Saving The World And Start Living Your Life
"I don't owe anyone anything!" Come on?! Seriously? Here, just don’t lie - for sure, there is a list of who you owe what. To be obliged to everything is the “karma” of the older children in the family. It so happened that, starting from the age of two to five or seven, they were taught - “you are the elder,” “strong,” “you are smarter,” “you must take care,” “give in,” “you are responsible for everything.
How To Stop "fighting" With Your Mom And Start Living Your Life
In a previous publication, I wrote that the protracted struggle, which sometimes the relationship between a mother and her matured child turns into, takes a lot of energy and does not have a winner. Alas, such a struggle imperceptibly becomes a substitute for a full-fledged own life and drags on for years.
Bad And Ugly Mothers: How To Survive And Start Living?
We are rooting for parents and recovering for ourselves and for our children. Physical, mental and psychological disorders, all types of addictions in an adult are most often associated with a problematic experience of relationships with a mother .
20 Reasons To Stop Saving Your Mom And Start Living By Your Own Rules
You will begin to live only your life. Not to my mother or someone else from the ancestral system, but to live according to your own scenario You will know exactly what you want, not mom or dad or society You will know exactly your movement in life, where, why and why, for what, how and what in the end.
