2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
"Why is your friend studying and you not?" “Look what your girlfriend is - smart, tidy! Everything she has is so beautiful, clean - both her dress and her hands. Why are you so sloppy? " "Your older sister was respected by the whole school, now let them see what kind of brother she has!"
We, adults, use these well-known phrases quite often when communicating with children. It would seem that there is nothing special in them - neither resentment nor criticism. Just comparisons. We compare children with each other with the noblest goal - to induce a child to pull up for one reason or another.
Parents vehemently defend their children, saying that being compared to the best children is a way of parenting. They may even get angry, arguing that such competition is very similar to that in business.
But is it possible for a teenager, still so insecure, to withstand and realize the meaning of competition?
Perceiving the world primarily due to emotions, a child can understand such a comparison as follows: I am worse, therefore they love me less. It is the love of parents that is the basis of a person's future strength, his mental resource, the support of the whole personality. An annoying comparison shakes this basis.
After all, each child, each person is a unique inner world, which consists only of his inherent thoughts and feelings. That is why comparisons are always somewhat unfair and incorrect. It is useful and necessary to compare, but only with oneself. For example: "Today you did better than yesterday." Or: "I know you can do much better."
A child's efforts do not even always need to be judged. The main thing is to notice and pay attention. For example: "I see that you even removed the garbage that no one could reach." Or: "If I could remove it there too, it would be very good."
The habit of comparing oneself to others is consolidated, it passes into adulthood. But in adults, it, at its worst, develops into real envy. And envy sometimes helps to achieve success. But more often than not, the experiences associated with envy (someone has, and I do not), is spent time and energy that could be used with greater returns for yourself.
And how much grief and misunderstanding comes from this pernicious feeling … For years the closest relatives do not speak, relationships and marriages are broken … Envy, like rust, corrodes the soul. And the beginning - such harmless remarks that the child hears from the people closest to him.
Recommended:
How Are Food And Feelings Related? The Severity Of The Body Is The Price To Pay For The Lightness In The Soul. An Example Of Overweight Work
When our body needs food, it signals this to us with feelings of hunger. But, often we eat when there is no real hunger. And we increase our weight, sometimes to incredible sizes. What for? The severity of the body is the price to pay for the lightness in the soul.
Six Strings Of The Soul Played By The Manipulator
There are many ways and types of manipulations, however, based on what our senses are played by the manipulator, they can be divided into six main types. 1. Manipulation of love. As a child, you were told: "If you play like that, I will not love you.
It Is Difficult To Carry Soul Relationships Throughout Life, And Not Role-playing
Family in crisis Generally speaking, the main psychological problem that couples come with can be formulated as follows: "It's bad together, but it's scary to part, it seems that if you run away, it will be even worse." People want to be helped to learn how to live together - more interesting, more fun, safer.
Bare Nerve Of The Soul. Traumatics
Probably most of them had at least one-time dental problems. The most painful thing is not when a hole is drilled (although the sound and sensations are still the same). The hardest part is when the nerve is exposed. Then it's not that chewing 30 times for good digestion is difficult, chewing, in principle, becomes impossible.
"Man, Go To Your Mom." A Man's Soul In Search Of Maturity
The average man says, "I want to be paired with a beautiful, intelligent, wise, spiritual, independent woman." After 5 minutes, he says: "A man should be in charge in a pair, be weaker than me, obey." I answer: "Man, go to your mother.
