2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The children of a narcissistic mother are "wounded birds". With a broken wing, they cannot realize themselves, feel the taste of life and build harmonious relationships. Psychological trauma, like an invisible burden, burdens everything.
Even adults take a long time to clean up the consequences of a relationship with a narcissist. And on children whose psyche is not formed, the influence of the narcissistic mother is mega-destructive. Therefore, they grow up with blurred boundaries, low or hypertrophied self-esteem, do not know who they are, what they want and love, what their goals are. But at the same time, they really like to please and be good to everyone. This often becomes the meaning of their life.
An emotionally unstable and lacking empathy mother does not understand the child's feelings and forbids him "unnecessary" emotions. Either he mocks his resentment, pain, joy, sadness, or claims that it is stupid and wrong to feel it.
Her favorite tool is the manipulation of guilt in order to hand over an overwhelming sense of duty: because of you! I'm ill; I have to work so hard; dad left.
❗Mother's words act like setting (programming). And the child, without realizing it, begins to live in the world "I am to blame for everyone and owe everything to everyone."
The mother constantly reproaches her son / daughter and ascribes all the achievements to herself: I raised you this way; good grades - because I helped you. This leads the child to the conviction that he is worthless by himself. And forms his codependency in order to exploit him mentally and physically all his life.
The narcissistic mother cannot love, her heart is closed. And whatever she says, the child feels it. And over time, he himself ceases to love her and is burdened by this feeling of guilt [my mother did so much for me].
This is another hook of the parent to keep it close to her all her life.
Such a child can become a narcissist himself, but more often he attracts abusers and becomes their victim (friends, partners, bosses).
If your mom is a narcissist:
Get rid of guilt and duty to her.
Don't be hostage to her actions
Give responsibility for her life to her
Learn to live a fulfilling life
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Narcissistic Mother. Example
Tanya. 5 days - Tanyushenka, my girl. I am happy that I have you - you will please mommy, - whispered the newly-made parent to her daughter. [NM considers the daughter as property and claims that she "should" please her] Tanya.