2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Tanya. 5 days
- Tanyushenka, my girl. I am happy that I have you - you will please mommy, - whispered the newly-made parent to her daughter.
[NM considers the daughter as property and claims that she "should" please her]
Tanya. 5 years
- Aren't you ashamed? - his mother hissed at Tanya. [Forms feelings of shame]
- Ma-aamochka-aa, - the girl sobbed, - I didn't want to-aa. The clown is scary! He approached, and I was frightened.
- And you had to pee in your pants? As a child, I dreamed of seeing such a performance. And you don't appreciate it. Shamed me. Ungrateful. [Do not support. Instead of saying: "nothing happens" forms the prohibition to be afraid: fear is bad. Induces guilt]
- I didn’t want to go to the circus, I don’t like it. If only to the puppet theater … - the baby sighed dreamily through crying.
- Mommy knows that you are better. Do not upset me, otherwise the pressure will rise,”the woman pressed in anger. [Imposes views. Forms feelings of guilt]
“Sorry-ee, I don’t want you to get sick again and become unhappy. I will obey, - Tanyusha clung to the angry mother. [NM has already developed empathy for herself and the need to make her happy]
“That's better, dear. Wipe away your tears, - the parent summed up contentedly.
Tanya. 15 years
- Mommy, look, what kind of a book the girls gave me! Here are paintings of the Renaissance: Raphael, Titian, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Botticelli. And there is a lot about their work. I am so glad!
- Baby, this is some old stuff. Your friends are greedy. Probably, they got rid of it so that it didn't take up space in the closet. It will be a good press for cabbage, - the mother giggled. - And not too much, daughter, rejoice, otherwise you will cry. [Forbids to rejoice. Devaluates the gift and girlfriends]
- They bought it for me. They know how much I like to draw. Why didn't you let me study in art?
- Tanyusha, but daub will not bring money. Study English. How will you help me, an old one, without a good profession? My health is weak, my pressure is jumping, and soon I may not be able to work, - the woman sighed with a mournful face. [Devalues desires. Imposes values. Forms feelings of guilt and "duty"]
Tanya. 15 years + 1 week
- Mom, have you seen my book?
- Oh, Tanyusha, the employee invited me to my birthday, - the mother smiled happily, - so I presented it to her. Gift edition, looks expensive. And you don't need it - it only distracts you from studying.
“I dreamed about her,” the girl sobbed.
- Baby, are you crying over such nonsense? Children in Africa do not even have clean water … [Forbids grieves]
- She is mine! - Tanya was angry.
- Tanya, how can you be angry with mommy? You only think about yourself. Aren't you ashamed? I ruin my health at work so that you have everything. How can I pick up a gift from a friend? You can not do it this way. [Causes a feeling of guilt, shame - you can't be angry with your mother. Forms a sense of "duty". Gaslighting - denial of facts: she says that gifts cannot be taken, but she herself "presented" the book to her daughter]
Tanya. 35 years
- Baby, I don't understand why he decided to divorce. I so wanted you to be happy.
- Mommy, he didn’t like that I came to you all the time. After work - with food. Every weekend - clean up, cook food. You couldn't do it yourself. We hardly saw each other.
“But Valera got really angry when we didn’t go on vacation,” the daughter continued. - You got sick, and I was here and looked after. [NM uses reverse tactics, double message]
- Tanya, but I have so many sores. I can't do it without you. I gave birth, raised, learned. Now you have to help me old,”the woman moaned. [Feelings of guilt, duty. Manipulation]
- Mom, yesterday I found your medical card and realized that all diseases are fiction! And you are healthier than me! - Tatiana flared up. She paused and added in an extinguished voice: but she made a servant out of me, climbed into my family, destroyed it …
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