2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Natalia Kvitk
It is the Inner Child that is the source of psychic energy, desires, drives and needs. There is joy, intuition, creativity, fantasy, curiosity, spontaneous activity. But the Traumatized Inner Child, in return for joy, gives us childhood fears and resentments, whims and discontent. You can hide, reject, ignore your inner Child - his needs as much as you like, but he will still make itself felt
There are many techniques for re-connecting with the Inner Child. On your own, you can begin your acquaintance with the Inner Child healing system with simple exercises.
1) Technique L. Bonds from the book "The Magic of Color". This is how it is described in the book of S. V. Kovalev:
one. Take your jacket and roll it up. It is important that the jacket is yours.
2. Putting the folded jacket next to it, take a stable position on the chair, firmly press your feet to the floor.
3. Take the jacket with both hands and, holding it firmly, place it on your knees on top.
4. Take a look at the package, clearly imagining that for the first time you have taken yourself, a small child, in your arms.
5. Now talk to a toddler who has never before. heard your voice. For example, repeat the following words: "I will never leave you again." Pause. "Never. You'll be with me. Can you hear me?" Pause. "I will never leave you again." Pause. "Never. You will always be with me now. " Pause. "Always".
6. Repeat this until you are firmly convinced that the "child" hears you.
7. Finally, take the small bundle in your arms, hold it to your chest and shake it like a child.
L. Bonds notes that you may need to repeat this exercise once a day for several days, until your Inner Child finally believes you, since "he" or "she" still lived in constant fear that were abandoned, and all “their” experience suggests that we adults do not pay due attention to our children.
2) A further development of your work with your own Traumatized Child can be the technique "Caress the child that you were" by J. Rainwatter ("It is within your power"). This, very similar to the above, procedure is done as follows.
Get into a position that is comfortable for you, relax, close your eyes, enter a relaxed, receptive state of consciousness.
Pick some difficult period in your childhood. Imagine what you were then. How do you see yourself as a child? Is he sitting, lying or walking?
Refer to him. Give him a few warm words of approval and support. Give him some advice. Be him the parent (protector, friend, guardian) that you yourself wanted to have. Pick up a soft toy that will represent the child you were, caress it, pamper it.
When you are done with this exercise, be sure to write down the feelings and thoughts that come to your mind. For many people, this is a very powerful experience, and sometimes a breakthrough.
3) However, it is very possible that your Inner Child was traumatized, as they say, immediately - from the moment of birth. If so, it will be better if you use the Become a parent to yourself technique proposed by J. Graham.
Imagine that you are present at your own birth. As soon as you are born, turn all your feelings towards the newborn baby, take him in your arms, embrace him and just caress, at the same time gently looking into your newly born eyes. When you notice that your newborn self is returning that gaze to you or simply seeing you, turn to this Inner Child of yours and say that you love and understand him and that you will help him grow up and become an adult. Convince your Child that he (s) has come to a safe world in which you will provide him with the necessary protection and help.
Reassure your Inner Child that he will never feel lonely or hurt, that he can become who he wants and what he wants; that he will no longer need to fight for victory and suffer defeat, because you, his adult consciousness, will help your Child go through any trials.
Explain to your Inner Child that he does not know feelings of loneliness or fear, because you will reward him with such attention that he (you) will grow in an atmosphere of love and security. Reassure your Child that he will not have to resort to desperate attempts to attract attention (which are fixed in the form of neurotic and psychosomatic symptoms), because you will listen and hear him. And obey wherever you really need to."
And one more exercise:
Remember and write down 25 of your favorite activities (blowing bubbles / airplanes / kite; drawing; making love; baking cookies; knitting; driving a car; swimming / diving; playing football / hockey / checkers / chess / bingo / hide and seek; singing; dancing; skating / skiing / sledging / cycling; climbing trees / rocks / fences; sculpting with plasticine; etc.)
Which of this list did you really enjoy in your early childhood?
Which of the following is your real pleasure now? When was the last time you allowed yourself to do any of the above?
Put a date next to each session. And don't be surprised if it turns out that it was many years ago.
Choose something that you haven't done in a very, very long time and … do it!
Take a moment for yourself every day. Do not postpone and do not postpone "until later" - from Monday, from New Year, from vacation.
Don't dismiss your Inner Child.
Learn to be a Nurturing Parent for him.
Love and acceptance of life, trust in it and in people begins with love and acceptance of yourself, your Inner Child.
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