The Inner Child. Towards Healing

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each has his own. So different and so vulnerable. It also has a lot of life and curiosity. And the energy, which would be enough, probably, to illuminate the whole city. In general, such an ordinary child. Like all children on earth. But only he is inside us. In our memory. Every adult was once an inquisitive toddler. And it's good if this baby calmly grew up and developed to the joy of mom and dad, who are in harmony with themselves and with the world. It is good if his needs for love, affection and care were satisfied; in built-in security, in which exploring the world was not scary, but very interesting.

But it also happens in another way. When inquisitiveness was cut short by the words "do not go" and "must not." When the baby was left all alone and it was very scary and lonely. When I wanted to warm myself in my mother's arms, and there was someone else's aunt nearby, who forced me to eat porridge. When it's so scary from dad's screams and mom's tears. When you are bad, "because" and good "for what." And when the belt, so generally the guard - it hurts and offensive, because "why" is not clear. And there are a lot of all sorts of such "when".

And our inner child is crying. And he suffers. It hurts because. Most likely, an adult will not immediately understand that it is his baby inside that makes itself felt. Shrug it off, what nonsense. But this is not nonsense. When you want after a hard day "for hands and dress" - this is our baby, when it is insulting from the words or actions of others - this is him again. But when “a rag has gathered, no dresses until the report is completed” or, for example, “they carry water to the offended” - this is already our Adult. And if you recall it well, these are not our words, we were not born with them, but the words of significant adults who are firmly entrenched in our head. Yes, yes, we grew up, and now, to replace the then adult, we ourselves have become the toughest critic and strict controller for our inner child.

Psychologists have a very good exercise in use - talking to your inner child. Sit back, relax and imagine yourself small. Imagination itself will tell how old he is now, where he is and what he is doing, the main thing is to imagine it well and in detail. And then the matter is small - love him, hug, have pity, if necessary, say that you are there and never leave him. I think the right words will come by themselves. Perhaps there will be tears, perhaps it will be sad. Anything is possible. But this will be followed by a feeling of strength and confidence. Because all the energy is there, all the vitality. Accept your child, give him what once parents could not give and are unlikely to be able to now. Believe me, this is a real lifeline for many drifting in the ocean of life. When your inner child is accepted and loved by you, your attitude towards yourself will change. Your relationships with others will change. Because a person who knows that he is loved and appreciated is a fairly integral and harmonious person with a stable self-esteem. It is easier for such a person to live, create, express himself in life, do what he loves. Such a person knows for sure that he is ordinary, imperfect, with the right to make mistakes and at the same time accepting himself as so imperfect. Such a person has more confidence in himself and in the world, he is able to love, capable of real closeness without manipulation and provocation. And he is free because he has recognized and accepted all the different parts of himself. Even vulnerable, small and helpless.