HEALING THE INNER CHILD

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Video: HEALING THE INNER CHILD

Video: HEALING THE INNER CHILD
Video: Healing The Inner Child: Here’s What You MUST DO! [5 Tips] 2024, March
HEALING THE INNER CHILD
HEALING THE INNER CHILD
Anonim

I had a dream today. I am still under his impression.

In terms of content, I was carrying the child in my arms, bloodied and wounded. She ran somewhere with him. I held it to my chest. In general, emotionally - very strong experiences.

Ranenuy_rebenok
Ranenuy_rebenok

The Wounded Angel, 1903 Hugo Simberg

To traumatic events in our life (traumatic for us and, perhaps, quite insignificant on a "global" scale), the emotional reaction comes from the ego state of the Inner Child. This dream of mine - he reflected it very clearly.

Much has been said and written about the Inner Child. A bit of theory, for those who are not familiar with this term. The concept of the Inner Child (BP) came to us from E. Berne's theory of transactional analysis.

Each person at every moment of time is in the state of a Parent, Adult or Child, and this is how he manifests himself in relation to other people. But Inner Child it is what a child a person is to himself. It is not visible to others, but expresses the most important problems of a person's self-attitude. BP is happy or unhappy, depending on how the person relates to him, and how he relates to the person as a whole, as well as to himself. It is the emotional state of the Inner Child that determines the basic emotional tone of the personality, the feeling of immediate happiness or, conversely, depression, self-confidence or one's own worthlessness. BP can take revenge for something to the person himself, give him good luck or defeat, lead him to a certain lifestyle and predetermine the choice of work, friends, life partner or attitude towards his own children.

The state of VR is created by certain conditions of life in childhood, first of all, by how the child was treated by his parents, what verbal and non-verbal “instructions” he received from them, how he understood them, and what decisions he made based on them.

Once created, the states are preserved in the adult state "by default", as life attitudes and the adult are usually not aware of how they give rise to his chronic emotions, behaviors and life strategy. Inner Child retains the basic methods of adaptation chosen in childhood and is responsible for basic goals and motives.

Exactly Inner Child - a source of psychic energy, desires, drives and needs. There is joy, intuition, creativity, fantasy, curiosity, spontaneous activity. But the Traumatized Inner Child, in return for joy, gives us childhood fears and resentments, whims and discontent, which makes the whole life seem like hard labor. You can hide, reject, ignore your inner Child - his needs as much as you like, but he will still make itself felt.

Different people come to me for therapy. With various difficulties in their present life. With different destinies and different childhoods.

So what all my clients have in common is childhood trauma.

Surprisingly enough, almost every one of us has a small, traumatized child. It is a great happiness if a person had a truly happy and free childhood. If he was loved, accepted, allowed to be himself. He was not involved in psychological games (he did not see them at all), he was not assigned the functions of a parent (if there were brothers and sisters), he was not used as a tool of manipulation.

Didn't ignore his needs. Or they didn’t suppress them with overwhelming concern.

Unfortunately, I do not know such people.

My childhood, for all its "goodness", was also not one of the happy ones.

I did psychotherapy for my Inner Child in a group. And these were very strong impressions and discoveries. Discovering yourself - yourself.

Working to heal your Inner Child is a time-consuming process. But it's worth it. Inner child - this is our true self. When we learn to understand him, we learn to understand ourselves.

The Free Inner Child is a resource for an adult. If an adult has established contact with his Inner Child, then from living life he experiences many joyful moments. Such a person has the desire to live and the energy to move forward, he looks into the future with a smile and hope. It is easier for such a person to answer the question “what does he want”, “what makes him happy”. For those people whose connection with the Inner Child is broken, even such a simple question, it would seem, causes difficulty. It is difficult for them to navigate their own desires. Or, in the worst case, they "don't want anything for a long time."

As a summary, I want to summarize: most of life's problems are the result of a severed connection with the Inner Child.

Reconnecting with your Inner Child and healing childhood trauma is best done with a specialist psychotherapist. This can be either individual or group psychotherapy. From a psychotherapist, in addition to the skill of working with your Inner Child, you will receive emotional and personal support, which is so necessary in this difficult period of conscious growing up.

Once again, I want to emphasize that this process is slow and sometimes quite painful. During these Inner Child Therapy sessions, everyone cries - men, women, successful businessmen, and tough leaders. But these are tears of relief, releasing from the tension that has sometimes been stored inside for more than a dozen years.

What does Inner Child therapy do?

In a few words, then a sense of the joy of life.

That child's perception of delight from the fact that "I am" and "Life is" is returning.

There are many techniques for re-connecting with the Inner Child. On my own, I suggest you begin your acquaintance with the system of healing procedures for the Inner Child with the Spring Greens psychotechnology by L. Bonds from the book The Magic of Color. This is how it is described in the book of S. V. Kovalev. "We come from a terrible childhood or How to become the master of your past, present and future"

Here is an excerpt:

1. Take your jacket and roll it up. It is important that the jacket is yours.

2. Putting the folded jacket next to it, take a stable position on the chair, firmly press your feet to the floor.

3. Take the jacket with both hands and, holding it firmly, place it on your knees on top.

4. Take a look at the package, clearly imagining that for the first time you have taken yourself, a small child, in your arms.

5. Now talk to a toddler who has never before. heard your voice. For example, repeat the following words: "I will never leave you again." Pause. "Never. You'll be with me. Can you hear me?" Pause. "I will never leave you again." Pause. "Never. You will always be with me now. " Pause. "Always".

6. Repeat this until you are firmly convinced that the "child" hears you.

7. Finally, take the small bundle in your arms, hold it to your chest and shake it like a child.

L. Bonds notes that you may need to repeat this exercise once a day for several days while your Inner Child he will not completely believe you, because “he” or “she” still lived in constant fear of being abandoned, and all “their” experience suggests that we, adults, do not pay due attention to our children.

A further development of your work with your own Traumatized Child can be the psychotechnology "Caress the child that you were" by J. Rainwatter ("It is within your power"). This, very similar to the above, procedure is done as follows.

Get into a position that is comfortable for you, relax, close your eyes, enter a relaxed, receptive state of consciousness.

Pick some difficult period in your childhood. Imagine what you were then. How do you see yourself as a child? Is he sitting, lying or walking?

Refer to him. Give him a few warm words of approval and support. Give him some advice. Be him the parent (protector, friend, guardian) that you yourself wanted to have. Pick up a soft toy that will represent the child you were, caress it, pamper it.

When you are done with this exercise, be sure to write down the feelings and thoughts that come to your mind. For many people, this is a very powerful experience, and sometimes a breakthrough.

However, it may very well be that your Inner Child was injured, as they say, immediately - from the moment of birth. If so, it will be better if you use psychotechnology. “Become a parent to yourself”, a description of which I made according to the procedures proposed by J. Graham (“How to become a parent to yourself. Happy neurotic”).

Imagine that you are present at your own birth. As soon as you are born, turn all your feelings towards the newborn baby, take him in your arms, embrace him and just caress, at the same time gently looking into your newly born eyes. When you notice that your newborn self is returning that gaze to you or simply seeing you, turn to this Inner Child of yours and say that you love and understand him and that you will help him grow up and become an adult. Convince your Child that he (s) has come to a safe world in which you will provide him with the necessary protection and help. Reassure your Inner Child that he will never feel lonely or hurt, that he can become who he wants and what he wants; that he will no longer need to fight for victory and suffer defeat, because you, his adult consciousness, will help your Child go through any trials. Explain to your Inner Child that he does not know feelings of loneliness or fear, because you will reward him with such attention that he (you) will grow in an atmosphere of love and security. Reassure your Child that he will not have to resort to desperate attempts to attract attention (which are fixed in the form of neurotic and psychosomatic symptoms), because you will listen and hear him. And obey wherever you really need to."

And one more exercise from my favorites

Remember and write down 25 of your favorite activities (blowing bubbles / airplanes / kite; drawing; making love; baking cookies; knitting; driving a car; swimming / diving; playing football / hockey / checkers / chess / loto / hide and seek; singing; dancing; skating / skiing / sledging / cycling; climbing trees / rocks / fences; sculpting with plasticine; etc.)

Which of this list did you really enjoy in your early childhood?

Which of the following is your real pleasure now? When was the last time you allowed yourself to do any of the above?

Put a date next to each session. And don't be surprised if it turns out that it was many years ago.

Choose something that you haven't done in a very, very long time and … do it!

Take a moment for yourself every day. Do not postpone and do not postpone "until later" - from Monday, from New Year, from vacation.

Don't dismiss your Inner Child.

Learn to be a Nurturing Parent for him.

Love and acceptance of life, trust in it and in people begins with love and acceptance of yourself, your Inner Child.

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